My S and D are only in their early 20s but they both have had trouble meeting that special someone. Both have been in relationships but nothing has stuck. DS has recently decided to stop looking. He’s in grad school and has suspended the search to focus on that. He is much happier without the stress of looking for someone/dating/breaking up.
I keep telling them that matchmaking is the way to go. If someone else is choosing your spouse, you don’t have to do it yourself. There is also something to be said for finding someone with a similar background.
And there a number of women/men who are of the view that workplace is a good place to meet people, as long as there is no conflict of interest. It is interesting you keep on referring it is inappropriate for men to ask women out at a work place, what about women asking men out (you know it does happen). We spend most of our time at work, not sure why it wouldn’t be a place to meet someone. Most companies do recognize it is not reasonable to prevent people from dating. They just come up with a guideline.
I’m curious whether you parents of single (especially seemingly chronically single) adult kids find that they want to talk about it, or not. I’ve never brought it up myself and never would. One talks and the other mostly doesn’t.
I glanced at this but didn’t post when it started because I thought my kids were both finally in good relationships. My DD finished her PhD and so did the guy that was her boyfriend (mostly) since sophomore year at undergrad. They lived together 4 or 5 separate times and maintained long distance other times. I worried when he moved back to WA without her following immediately . They were not living together at that time, but spent a LOT of time together and took trips together and it was not platonic. She finally chose to move to his town and look for a job there to signal that she chose him. She wanted her own place until she got a job, but apparently he thought that meant she was friends with benefits and so after 2 months where she thought they were great…he dated another woman (neglecting to tell her). When she found out (last week) she is devastated.
I am just in shock, but yes, I’ll be anxious for her to find a SO because she really wants family and kids . She hasn’t found a job yet so maybe she will be back here, but it is all too new to say.
Maybe we need a bad breakup for our kids CC advice thread going. I saw a couple of others that have lived through it.
S doesn’t really talk about his dating life, or lack thereof. It was weeks after he started dating his former gf that he told us, and then again weeks after they broke up that he told us. He told us about one date from an app, but I don’t know if he’s dated any other people since then. He’s only told me that he finds dating through apps uncomfortable. I let him bring it up if he chooses - I don’t bring it up.
So, are any of your kids using any of the pandemic-driven dating apps that seem to be popping up now? There was an article yesterday in either the NYT or on CNN that described video-based dating apps, meet-ups etc.
My D met a guy via an app in mid-February and they had been on 4 actual dates before quarantine and self-isolation became the new reality. He’s a resident, so an essential worker. She’s a big firm lawyer working from home which means she escaped her NYC apartment to come live with us in late March once she had been alone for 15 days. It’s been interesting hearing her describe this burgeoning relationship that is happening via text and Google Hangout/Zoom. They’ve had multiple 2-4 hour conversations which is more than I think she’s spoken to anyone since this started. Last night was supposed to be a “movie night” on separate screens in separate spaces but they apparently started talking and, 3 hours later, postponed that until tonight since he had to be at the hospital at 6am and her work weeks seem to now span 7 days regularly.
I wonder if having the time for relationships to develop slowly, without physical contact, will encourage or discourage long term connections. Anybody seeing anything along these lines?
Not an app relationship, but our son told us a couple of weeks ago that he’s in a relationship with a young woman he met at a pizza place on a night out with his friends. From what he’s told us, she’s seems like a good match. We can’t wait to meet her, but I doubt he’ll be up for a video meet, so we’ll have to wait quite a while to actually get together. So happy for him, though.
@runnersmom: I like the idea of remote dating because I do believe it’s conducive to focusing on quality over . Probably a good thing.
I have two sons (hence the screen name). Older one is in a relationship with a young woman who we adore. They live together and DH and I only half joke between ourselves that we hope he doesn’t screw it up. It is younger DS, age 24, that I worry about finding someone. He moved to NY less than a month before the pandemic started so doesn’t have much opportunity to meet people now. He is gay and I worry that just from a numbers standpoint, he has a more limited pool of candidates than if he were straight (not that we have a problem with him not being straight.) He is smart, cute and funny and he’s always been a person that people gravitate to. But has never been in any serious relationship, though I believe he would like to be.
We are sort of seeing the opposite. I mentioned in this thread when it first went up that S had met a young woman last fall and it looked promising. Well, when quarantining started, her roommate moved out, and they decided that rather than him go back and forth from his apt (with roommate), they’d quarantine together in hers. So they are presently living together for now, much more quickly than they would have otherwise, though I don’t think they yet see it as permanent. But the relationship does look like a very close one. So hopefully it works out long term; she seems really great, though we have barely met her.
