Raising my hand as well, especially for my 30yo DS. He has really never had an SO and is unwilling to go on dating apps. He has a couple of small groups of friends, but is often alone. Friends always say he will find someone, and I remain hopeful, but there are certainly people who never marry and remain alone. I hope that does not turn out to be his life.
Are your kids open to being set up by friends or family? My D is totally on board with this but I only seem to know people with single daughters, not sons. So, if anyone has sons or know young men between the ages of 26-35 who would like to meet a 30 y/o lawyer who lives in NYC, let me know 
(Only partially kidding!)
There’s a chance my son might be open to a casual meeting, but unfortunately he’s in Seattle. Anyone there?
My 28 year old nephew is in NYC but he’s good at making friends. Plus he didn’t ever say if he got the gift card I sent him last month for his birthday, or answer the text I sent last week asking if he got the card. So I don’t think I’ll try to set him up!
Hand raiser here, too. 30 yo DD fell in love for the first time last year, and he broke her heart. She’s said that now that she knows what that feels like, it’s hard to go back to being happily single. All of her dates seem to be mismatches - nice guys who are much more interested in her than she is in them. And that includes one of her best friends! She’s now dating another one who’s more into her, but she’s giving him a chance.
Like the others here, I’m only anxious because she is. If she were happy, I would be too.
My husband often comments it seems like we know a lot of single women who would like to meet someone but we don’t know any guys their age or thereabouts. I’m always looking for my terrific nieces. On the radio today I heard an ad for “Its just lunch”- years ago a friend of mine met her husband through this group. It’s not a dating app but a matchmaker of sorts. Someone here should have their kids try it out and report back!
DH & MIL are the ones who are worried about this. DD is busy with her life, and trusts that if there’s someone out there for her, she’ll run into him. Until then, she is filling her apartment with with “grandplants” for us to appreciate.
@happymomof1 Love the “grandplants”!
I wish my 26yo software developer S could find someone. He’s an introvert, though, so she will probably have to find him.
H and I know a newlywed couple, first marriage for both–he is 59 and she is 40. They are expecting a baby this summer!
H’s brother and his wife were 47 and 38 when they married. They have 2 kids now.
One child has a wonderful SO and my fingers are crossed for a happy ending for them. The other is an incurable romantic who is not afraid to put himself out there, but does not always make a good choice. I hope the romantic finds a good long term SO who will value him. I constantly remind myself that I, too, kissed a lot of frogs before I found a prince.
My kids were completely opposites in this dimension. My son was the first kid in his class to have an official girlfriend (in 5th grade). It was her idea, of course, but they were good friends so he said OK. In the 20 years since, the only times he hasn’t been partnered up were respectful periods between relationships. Women tended to come after him without much effort on his part. And he was a serial monogamist, not a player. He wasn’t necessarily a great boyfriend in his teens and early 20s, but he was getting plenty of on-the-job training.
His sister, on the other hand . . . when she was 27 and had never had a visible boyfriend (“that she was willing to tell you about,” my son later advised), I was worried. She was smart, successful, attractive, straight, and living in NYC, but she worked in a field where almost everyone she dealt with was female, and she got a graduate degree in a program that was 70% women. She had male friends, most of whom were gay, and the couple who weren’t were taken. Between work and school, she didn’t have a lot of time to pursue other interests.
I was casting around, trying to find friends who knew of unattached young men in New York, etc. At one point, though, I straight-out asked her: “If you want to meet guys, what do you do?” She said, “Dating aps. It’s not perfect – it takes real time and effort to look for people, and then you have to arrange a meeting, and you have to go, and then sometimes it’s not great. But if you want to meet appropriate people, and you do the work, you can meet appropriate people.” What she didn’t tell me at the time was that she had met a really appropriate guy through OK Cupid a few months before, and was in the early stages of a meaningful relationship. That led to marriage and parenthood a few years later.
His mother was worried, too. She wondered if maybe he was gay and wasn’t telling her. She wondered whether any woman would appreciate his special, but not really standard-issue, personality. She was thrilled beyond belief when out of the blue my daughter showed up.
So . . . it’s obvious, but it bears repeating. Dating aps. Read the New York Times wedding announcements on Sunday – about half of the couples every week met that way. There are other ways to meet, too, of course, but you can’t argue too much with success.
Not “anxious”. Have learned it may not happen. Just because 90%- or whatever percent become couples it does not mean it is going to happen. Decades later I figured out my never married college friends did not want that. I wanted it for myself and finally met my H when we were bothin our early 30’s. When in our twenties my sister and I teased our mother that she didn’t care if we got married, she wanted to be a grandmother. Sasly she died at 53 before achieving that status. This was decades ago. The current generation more frequently waits until 30 to marry and have children.
Post # 5- my sonis also the 30 year old software geek. The ratio of women with similar intellect and interests is to men is so low it would be nearly impossible to meet someone at work. Add in the social skill level. Wouldn’t know if son even interested as he clams up about any touchy subject.
btw- some mention kids only in their low to mid twenties. So young in comparison. Others mention past relationships- not all have had them. Thank you OP for this thread. I am not alone in having a son who is following his parents’ lead in not being part of a couple in their twenties.
Glitching computer- can’t edit in the middle or end, only beginning. I’ll bet most of the parents here married a lot younger than we did. Also- we all have had that significant other in our lives- we are parents after all. It is normal to want what we had for our children. But- some parents’ kids have to be the outliers and not continue like the vast majority.
@wis75 Good point! It probably does vary by family and generation. H and I got married when we were in our early 30’s and had D early to mid 30’s and S early 40’s. We did start dating in our 20’s. My mom married in her early 20’s and had me at 28 and my sister at 25. H’s mom got married at 19 and had him at 25 and her other two kids at 20 and 22. H and I had no interest in getting married and having kids that young. In our affluent area most people get married in their late 20’s and early 30’s and have kids in their 30’s. This was common even back in the 80’s when H and I moved to the area. I only know a few people who got married right out of high school or college and they tend to be mormon, didn’t go to college, etc…
What a good thread! My smart and beautiful 31yo daughter has had a SO for about 8 years now. He is in the Coast Guard so they have been apart for months at a time BUT always seem to end up together. She went through a time when she wanted marriage, he did not, he thought they were fine the way things were. Weird, because they are both so happy together ?. I worry, I do.
From what I’ve heard from my kids and co workers people either meet through dating apps, work, or they’re set up.
My D’s best friend is married to her BIL’s cousin. Her sister and her husband set them up! They dated for 5 years, got married two years ago and just had a baby this past November!
@roethlisburger - Most companies I have worked at do not have any issues with co-workers dating each other. It’s only an issue if a partner is a manager of another or has an indirect reporting line. All the trainings I have been through we have been told that it is ok to ask someone out at work, but it is not ok after someone has said no after 2 times. BTW - sexual harassment is not limited to women, and asking someone out at work is not a sexual harassment.
Regardless of whatever company policy is, a number of women are of the view that interactions at work should be strictly professional and it’s inappropriate for men to ask them out at the office.
Dating at work is discouraged where my kids work. You have to fill out some sort of form.
I do worry a little about my younger son but he is still in his late 20’s. He had a girlfriend for a couple years but that ended a couple of years ago (she is the one that ended it). They worked together for a couple of years and she approached him first as she was leaving their company. She said she had a crush on him! She was a computer science major from a top school, he’s an engineer and they worked on projects/research together.
He has good friends, is very athlectic, and nice looking, stays active, but seems to not be comfortable initiating things with women. I just don’t picture him on dating apps or things like that. It may take another young woman to initiate things ! He does seem happy in general so I am hoping the relationship piece falls into place at some point.
@momofsenior1 : “There should be a CC dating app :)”
My kids have long ago suspected (and dreaded) such machinations were part of the CC parent-group discussions all along.