<p>Achilleus </p>
<p>Don’t worry, the crying was just a temporary thing. we began doing the dance of joy as we slowly begin the process of reclaiming the house. For those of us with multiple kids, it’s just one more in the countdown :D</p>
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hehe … I have pictures of this for our first … you can barely see her through her jacket and the seat belts (we, of course, have no pictures of the third kid)</p>
<p>jeunger: the word “cry” on your thread caught my eye! I also have an “only”. I’m a very emotional person and my daughter has seen a lot of my tears, especially over the last couple of months, as college approaches way too fast. She is mildly amused. </p>
<p>cruella, thanks for the reality check. my prayers are with you and your family.</p>
<p>concerneddad: Thanks!!! that is really something to look forward to! being part of her world now.</p>
<p>Oh man. I can see my mom ‘crying her eyeballs out’ when I leave. Gosh, I hate to think of it. It really does make the children sad to see their parents cry…but you gotta do what you gotta do…</p>
<p>I’m so worried about moving out. I’m an only child, and my mom is a single parent, and we’ve always been very, very close. When I’m gone, she’ll be alone, with the burden of caring for my aging grandmother (who she doesn’t even get along with). It’s going to be so difficult for her (both of us), with me attending college in Pennsylvania in the fall and her remaining here in Hawaii. The guilt is increasing as the time gets closer…</p>
<p>I’m an only, and I recall going off to college - I wasn’t the least bit sad, just excited and ready for it all. My parents told me later that they were so happy that I was happy, that they could not be sad. Now I understand.</p>
<p>Dani-
I sympathize very much with your situation, but please try not to feel guilty. It is truly hard to think about not seeing the smiling faces of your closest loved ones every day( hence the crying attacks like mine!). But it is also such an exciting time for you and your family. Believe me, despite any natural poignancy, your mom is thrilled for you and as proud as can be.</p>
<p>I know she’s happy…and she doesn’t try to make me feel guilty. It’s just a fact that what she’s going to have left here is going to be pretty bleak, and I can’t help but feel bad.</p>
<p>I too empathize with the flood of tears. About 2 months before my daughter left for college 3 years ago, I cried almost every day with an escalation of tears the week before she left. I could see that it concerned and worried by daughter and I didn’t want to make her feel guilty, but I just couldn’t stop. My husband, younger daughter and I cried for half the 3 hour ride home. We cried through our drive-thru burgers and fries. We cried that night when we passed her empty room. But oddly, I stopped crying the next day. It was as if the anticipation of the big event had passed, and we could all get on with our lives. We talk practically every day still, and we remain very closely connected with daily events. I guess I hadn’t expected the flood of tears to ever end- but they did. And everyone is OK. One of my friends reminded me that sending a kid off to college is sad, but it’s not tragic.</p>
<p>Oh, gosh, I can relate and my daughter’s only a junior! We have been shopping colleges and doing some research on what schools might be a good match for her. Most of the schools in which she has expressed an interest are within a four to four and a half hour drive. When she told me a couple of days ago that she would like to visit and possibly consider a school that’s 11 1/2 hours, I burst into tears, which made her wrap her arms around me and tell me not to worry or be sad. She is our one and only, and I really don’t want to appear to be sad. After all, isn’t this what we’ve worked for all these years … to raise our children to go out into the world and be independent? That’s what I keep telling myself, but I occasionally just cry … like now.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I feel like nature is helping to begin the process of snipping the apron strings. D and I have always been close and get along very well. Hubby says he has noticed lately, as have I, that D and I seem to snap at each other and argue more than we ever have in the past. The funny thing is, it seems the stuff we argue about is ridiculous and petty. Does this seem to be the case with anyone else here?</p>
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<p>Me too!! Although mine is a son and most of the schools he’s looking at are 1000+ miles away.
Just reading all the posts here has me in tears :o
I just try not to think about it too much (denial?) because I know it will be very hard next year when we have to actually go through it.</p>
<p>The night before I left for college I went to get something in the kitchen, and, passing my parents room, discovered my Dad sobbing over the photo albums!!</p>
<p>I would never have known that it pained him for me to leave home without this inadvertant discovery. I am glad he cried and that I saw it. It is a beautiful memory of my father, who was a generally gruff, cranky person.</p>
<p>This is the time I started crying last year when my D was a junior and we started visiting colleges over her spring break. It was the first time it became real…felt like yes, it’s really going to happen…</p>
<p>And I can’t tell you how I dreaded the college application process looming in front of me this time last year. I didn’t know about CC and we were winging it on our own. It seemed like it was going to be this terrible evil desert full of unknown dangers we were going to cross. Somehow we got through the apps and essays and they weren’t that tough. I helped her organize everything with a cardboard file box and folders and had a master college checklist which I kept updated with deadlines. Each app she sent in brought a sense of accomplishment…and I even found myself enjoying the process a little bit. After all, I had never gone through it myself when I was a kid and now I got to experience the whole thing, from end-to-end.</p>
<p>Now the reality is starting to set in that the end of the road is finally here, in sight, and she’s on it, and the tears are starting to flow again.</p>
<p>11-1/2 hours drive can be 2 hour flight plus 2 hours security lines…not much more than the four hour drive. </p>
<p>I read a lot of history and historical fiction. When people left home for voyages or cross-continent journeys, it was usually for years if not a lifetime…the settlers moving West didn’t take quickie trips to see Aunt Mabel back in Philadelphia. Marco Polo was a phenomenon because he actually returned, never mind the preposterous yarns he told.</p>
<p>For our students, those of us who live in the USA can send them all the way across country and get them back in one day’s travel. Really.</p>
<p>to TheDad- That was a tipical male response, you think logically Moms think emotionally!LOL!
TO TaraMom- I had never gone thru the process either and I had my file box and important deadlines , scheduled trips,interviews and mailed off all apps with great care! We had the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat! But now that it is almost over I feel sick with the thought of her leaving and I am crying as I type ! Oh how I will miss my baby!</p>
<p>Jeunger, my wife and I are just entering the weepy stage. I don’t know how we’ll be in August. Your original post and those that followedreminded me of a cartoon I once saw in the New Yorker that seems to hint that there is one career for which our children are ineligible.</p>
<p><a href=“The New Yorker Cartoons - The Cartoon Bank”>The New Yorker Cartoons - The Cartoon Bank;
<p>I liked my neighbor’s advice -</p>
<p>“Send them to a college that isn’t too far away because you will cry like crazy the whole way home.”</p>
<p>I was also thinking about a friend whose son is mentally ■■■■■■■■. He will never be moving out of the house. I guess that is truly worth crying about…but it’s just hard to think about that when we are saying goodbye.</p>
<p>mardad, hilarious!! My H & I both writers. Did everything the opposite of our parents!</p>
<p>I’ve been banned from reading the posts on this site by D! (But, she’s at school and what she doesn’t know…) Whenever I read these posts I tear up. OK - sometimes I weep!! I think she thinks they’re upsetting me. I think mostly (through the tears) it’s cathartic. Someone understands the feeling of an only leaving the house!! Nice to know I’m not just nuts!</p>
<p>My sister gave me this idea for making the break in stages and it seems to be helping. (Her daughter didn’t want to leave home for college last year-but that’s a whole 'nother subject!)</p>
<p>Every month on the same date I present my daughter with a “College Box”.
Each month has a theme. One month it’s laundry supplies including a roll of quarters, hangers, soap etc. Another months it was personal care - things like tweezers, razor blades, lotions - all the things she usually helps herself to from my bathroom. One month it was electrical. Extensions cords and the like. One month desk supplies - scissors, paper clips, post-its, etc. We gave her a small set of tools. This recommendation came from a dad of a shy girl who said it turned into a real social boost. People on her floor heard she had tools and had to come to her and introduce themselves if they wanted to borrow something! </p>
<p>Future months will include a “GET UP AND GET TO CLASS!!!” box which will include an alarm clock, a 4 cup coffee pot or Hot Pot and an umbrella so the ‘it’s raining - I can’t go out or I’ll melt’ excuse is moot.</p>
<p>I’m planning on a gift certificate for July. This way she can decide what colors and decorative items she wants to personalize her dorm and after she’s connected with her new roommate.</p>
<p>This is really helping prepare me emotionally - and financially - all of the supplies she’ll need won’t fall into the budget in the same month! My only problem is that I started in December with the first box and I still need a couple more months of ideas! I started my therapy too soon!</p>
<p>Please! Any ideas out there for future boxes? 
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<p>Hope this helps someone else.</p>