Hi everyone! Just curious to hear from anyone who is going through an experience like mine or has gotten through it.
Since around September, my parents have been going crazy for college. I have kind of strict parents who care a lot about stuff like this, and they have been going NUTS. I spent that semester sleepless and stressed because of their insistence on checking my college apps with painstaking detail late at night, checking my emails before I send them, and things of that sort in general. It was really hellish; at their insistence I applied to sixteen different colleges.
Even now that I have finished school a semester early, and the college admission decisions are back–and I got into good places!–I still feel like I’m going crazy. My parents only ever talk to me about college anymore, especially my mom. I don’t remember what exactly we talked about before that, but I miss it. They shout at each other all the time about responsibilities of setting up meetings with people from the colleges, and which college I should go to, etc. It’s a very depressing experience to sit in your room and suddenly hear their voices far away, discussing how my GPA would be at this college or that college or something. I thought this was going to be my decision, but I can’t tell anymore.
I kind of regret ever telling them I wanted to be a doctor. They got so excited over that, especially since my mom is one, that they are turning everything inside-out trying to find which college that I got into (and there are twelve of them) is the best one for pre-med. Which is a little silly. As I have found, there is no such thing as the “best” one. If you work hard, most of them are fine. And yet still, they search.
I don’t want to step outside my room anymore. I know that if I encounter one of them, I’ll be faced with another barrage of “the other day I found out x about y college” or “did you answer that email about this or that and forward me something about these” or whatever. It’s creepy–it’s like talking with robots! I feel like I’m losing touch with my future career goals, my writing, and my self. I feel like I am going to hit college so burned out from all of this that I am going to do poorly. Maybe it comes off as very “first world problems” to complain about something like this, and maybe I am taking things too seriously, but what else can I do? I find myself going to sleep just to escape it. I miss having a meaningful life so much.
I have five college visits coming up this month, most by plane.
What is this anymore?
What was this meant to be, before it became like this? What does any of it mean?
Anyone else feel like this? :0
