<p>this should be the best time of my life. two happy, healthy sons. one ready to finish college, one ready to begin.</p>
<p>i made it through the high school graduation ceremony, but ever since then, i feel ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. i see a picture, i see an old toy in a closet, i see the book shelf filled with children’s books, and i can’t help myself. the tears are over almost as soon as they’ve begun, but this really hurts! </p>
<p>i have endured eight years of high school in a row, and actually thought i’d look forward to it being behind me, so what is up with all this sadness? </p>
<p>I know just what you mean. My younger son started college this past year, and it was hard on me, but the older son had graduated from college and was home for awhile, so the nest was not yet empty. Now older son will be leaving on Saturday to work in Japan for probably a year. It is something he has worked for and longed for, so I am happy for him. But… I know he will probably never live at home again, so I am sad. And younger son will only be around for about a month of the summer, what with music programs and having to return early to college for RA training.</p>
<p>What I have found, however, is that the anticipation is worse than the reality. I am always blue for a couple of days before younger son returns to college after a break, but I do adjust once he is actually gone. (And he does call a lot, thank goodness!) I do not look forward to life without my boys around, but I know there will be good things in that stage of life, too.</p>
<p>i, too, have told myself that the anticipation of my youngest moving away for school is going to be far worse than it actually is. however, i hate spending these last few months feeling blue–i want to enjoy everything without feeling blue now and then. i guess part of the whole thing is accepting a bit of sadness–that’s just what it is, i guess!</p>
<p>i am going to a local knitting store sometime tomorrow and i hope to learn something new by signing up for a class. and at the same time, i will meet new people. </p>
<p>i plan on attending sporting events for my youngest in the fall, and i can look forward to meeting lots of new parents then, too. it’s just knowing that everything is changing faster than i want it to, i guess.</p>
<p>wbow, I know exactly how you feel! It about killed me to decorate the Xmas tree the first year my son was away, even though I knew he’d be home for the holidays. Still, when you see their enthusiasm, hear their stories about their new adventures, and see the growth in maturity and confidence with each school break, you’ll likely feel the same pride and satisfaction that I did - That certainly goes a long way in healing the hurt, like “mission accomplished” in a way. And, it’s a wonderful time to figure out who YOU are, apart from “Mom”. It took me quite a while rediscover myself - It’s a fun, new ride in life, and it’s excellent for your children to see you stretch yourself with new interests and friends.</p>
<p>A very good cc friend responded to my admission in a PM that I was having some very down days by “diagnosing” my condition as “pre-grieving” and admitting that she had engaged in it, also. She warned me that if my spouse showed zero symptoms she may be in store for a bigger “moment” when the real thing happened. Her spouse tanked when the departure occurred. Both my girls (D and W) look at me like I’ve completely lost my mind. </p>
<p>It would help if the TV would just stop playing that “Take Me Fishing” commercial where the little girl’s voice says “Take me fishing because my wedding is sooner than you think.” That thing plays twice a night on the Fox sports channels I watch. </p>
<p>I can barely even write about this…I’m so bad that I lost it over the thought of my baby (8) being a <em>third grader</em> next year!!! :eek:</p>
<p>Milestones melt me. And with six kids, there’s always one lurking around the corner…<em>sigh</em></p>
<p>My youngest son (the almost-third grader) had an eye doctor appt. yesterday. I took him out to lunch after, and he said, “MOM! This is JUST LIKE the OLD DAYS–you know, when I was in Kindergarten and we used to go to lunch all the time?? I’m sooooooooo glad to be alone with you again!”</p>
<p><em>I DON’T EVER WANT HIM TO GROW UP!!!</em></p>
<p>There, I said it…and it felt GREAT! :)</p>
<p>Well, sorry to digress, but wbow, we WILL get through…you KNOW that, don’t you?? {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} ~berurah</p>
<p>i realized last night that i am having a tough time for two reasons. one, my baby is going to be moving away–and no matter what anyone says, they never come home again exactly the same way they left (some would argue that is a good thing?). i know from experience that even if they come home to visit, it’s never quite like it used to be.</p>
<p>second, i am mourning for the stages of my life that i seem to be rapidly passing through. i am a sentimental sap and i become sad thinking about how i myself would like to go home again to see my folks–not to visit as an adult, but to go home again. maybe it’s just the steady march of time that i am waging war against, but this week has been horrible.</p>
Awwwwwwwwwww, wbow, I really DO understand this. When I get in these moods, I just sit and listen to Stevie Nicks’s “Landslide” over and over…</p>
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<p>Sometimes the poignance of life simply overwhelms me. Thankfully, we don’t occupy these places full time. These feelings will start to subside and become more manageable, I promise! </p>
<p>More {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}</p>
<p>~berurah, your partner in sentimental sap ;)</p>
<p>It has taken me a whole day to work up the courage to open this thread once I saw the title. I am feeling blue and I hate admitting it, even to myself.</p>
<p>My oldest is going off to college come September. For me the last three months have been a roller coaster. I’d been amazingly laid back about the whole college application thing, I trusted the process to take care of itself – that is until March. In March I panicked (secretly, I hope). Her list was very, very top heavy and I became convinced that she was going to end up with only rejections and wait lists. I don’t think I slept through the night for the entire month. I would go to sleep just fine and then wake up in the middle of the night (3 am seemed to be the favorite time) in a panic and not be able to get back to sleep.</p>
<p>Then April finally came with a flurry of incredible acceptances. Now I was too happy and excited for her to sleep properly. Also April was a whirl of complicated logistics and traveling as we took her to visit her four top choices. Then I was on pins and needles as we waited until the very last moment (May 1, 4:45 pm) for her to make her choice.</p>
<p>Then came May, and I have spent the entire month feeling blue. The dread and excitement is over (thank goodness!) but a creeping sadness has taken its place. Like wbow, I find myself thinking a good deal about my parents and my own childhood. My folks are both deceased, but recently I have had a number of dreams in which I am a child again living at home. As my daughter is about to leave her childhood behind I find myself thinking about my own. At least this thread lets me know I am not alone. Thank you.</p>
<p>{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}} to you too…I went through this last year. And the feelings are still SO vivid to me. If <em>I</em> can survive this, you can too, I promise. ~berurah</p>
<p>thanks, berurah and shelf-life. i try to look around me and see that there are many, many women who have survived this. having a child grow up, thrive, and move on to college is what we prepare them for for 18 years, and then when it happens, i find myself falling apart? i guess i have tied my selfworth directly to raising my kids, and i just feel pretty empty right now. </p>
<p>i have had a great teaching career and i see former high school students all over the place–and they always have a hug for me. i now teach at a local university, and since i teach a freshman intro class–I come in contact with 200-400 kids a year–and most of them find me on campus and come up and speak to me. i do have a lot going on, but it is all overshadowed by parenthood.</p>
<p>feeling empty and just wishing i could go back in time…but then again, would i really want to suffer through some of those moments again? </p>
<p>we had a wonderful year. my son was the first athlete at his school to earn 5 varsity letters in one season. his athletic accomplishments include 1 all state and 4 all conference awards. his academic awards were almost as remarkable. i so enjoyed watching him succeed that i guess i wanted it to go on and on and on. </p>
<p>my oldest son always wanted to freeze time. when he was three–he wanted to be three forever…i guess he is a lot like me and wants to keep things from changing. and really, i don’t like this getting older part. i never realized how brave my mom was as she faced each of these milestones. </p>
<p>i have to stop having these little cry fests (one minute i’m fine, the next i’m crying like crazy–but only for about 10 seconds or so!)–i have lost two contacts in the last week–now that’s getting expensive!</p>
<p>Hey, that sounds like me! I distinctly remember, when I was ten, thinking that ten was the perfect age and that I never wanted to get older. When I was eleven, eleven was the perfect age. When I reached thirteen, I decided that twelve was the perfect age! (The teen years were not fun for me.)</p>
<p>I, too, still have dreams of being a child. Recently, I have had a lot of dreams in which I am a college student again… Guess I envy my boys in a way, with all those possibilities still ahead of them. But I am happy with my life, and I know that the blues will pass. But it is hard not being such an important part of my boys’ life now. Guess I should just think of it as a job change…</p>
<p>i finally called my doctor today. i guess i should have mentioned that i have recently had a complete hysterectomy and getting my natural hormones regulated is harder than i would have guessed. i have an appointment on monday! hormones, or not, i’m still sad for what time has passed, but by nature i am optimistic and i want to be that way again</p>
<p>As each sport ended this year, I was sad that I would never be there watching my S again in HS. Although my D participates in the same sports, she doesn’t show his promise as yet, and I fear the “excitement” just won’t be the same. It’s so different rooting for the win, or the top 5, than just encouraging one to finish the race. But she is only going to be a soph, so there’s still room for improvement. Fortunately S is going to be competing at state u so I will be able to catch a race or two, but won’t be as in touch as I am now.</p>
<p>I think it’s the involvement in day to day activities that I will miss the most. I have always tried to guide him gently even as far as the type of kids he hangs out with. Last year he stopped hanging out with kids he had known for a while and I found out later it was because they were getting involved in drugs & alcohol. So, I was pretty proud that he had the courage to cut ties with them and find friends he had more in common with. I guess that should make me feel better.</p>
<p>One way I’m coping with him being gone is by looking forward to moving my D into his room, and moving S’s room downstairs. Of course, it will take all summer for him to remove and recycle all his junk…and most of it is junk. Can’t wait to have my house back…S is definitely not a neat person. At the same time I know I’ll miss having to pick up his hat off the floor for the 100th time. Just writing this, tears are welling up!!</p>
<p>I cried at last son’s graduation. I never thought I would do such a thing! What you need is a new hobby. I would suggest family genealogy. What I have started recently is making a series of family scrpabooks for all my children, grandchild, and sisters. In it I have documented the story of my family as far back as I can go. I have detailed information about grandmothers and gt gt gt grandfathers. I have copied photos, all the ones I 've liked the most of those who I have loved and past on, giving their history and life bio. I have found ancient photos of my forefathers in the strangest places and wonderful relatives willing to share.You would be absolutely amazed at how far back you can go , all the new wonderful people you will meet who you are distantly related to, and what you learn about your genes. It’s a great past time and has gotten me busy and active. Also, this may be an extemely important thing to do as someone has to document the family and just what you leave for the next generations will tell very much about YOU. You are preserving the past.
If that is of no interest you could try selling on ebay. I’ve been up to that recently and it is a very fast paced hobby. Within a week you know what has sold and then are very busy packing, shipping , dealing with clients, etc. I recommend that also but it is somewhat risky and the profit is not all it’s made out to be by those who have written books on the subject. I would suggest starting small and learning the ropes as to what is hot and what will sell.</p>