<p>Sushi, I can SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO relate. My kids were not nervous though, but I can relate to being the nervous one accompanying them during the 50 hours of practice driving. I felt like I was gonna die so many times. It was a very difficult “job” for me. I mean, a mistake can be deadly and I just could not tell if they were going to react or do the right thing and I didn’t want to find out with a “wait and see” if they do X right. So, yes, I likely got some grey hairs doing those 50 hours with two teens at age 15 (permits at 15 here).</p>
<p>When they got their licenses, I was still very nervous at first to let them go off on their own. I do make them call as they reach the designation and also when they leave the designation to go to the next place or to come home. Still the first few times they went off in a car by themselves, I was a nervous wreck. Even a couple years later, I still get that way. Now my kids are ages 17 and 19. </p>
<p>You probably don’t need to hear this now at a sensitive time, but 15 mos. ago, my then 16 year old, after only having her license for two months, was in a very serious car crash at 65 miles per hour on the interstate and it was the sort of crash that you would not expect someone to survive. She was very seriously injured but has miraculously recovered and is fine now. That experience is not one I wish on any child or parent and you better believe I am even MORE nervous now. Still, I can’t keep them from growing up and being independent and have had to let go though keep tabs on them. </p>
<p>Given what we went through with our youngest child last spring, I amazingly let my older one, then age 18 drive 6000 miles with 2 friends to Alaska (we live in VT). That child had been driving for two years and is highly responsible. She was expected to call each night as she reached the destination on her itinerary and she is very good about calling so I wasn’t too strung out over it (though the AlCan Highway made me nervous as there is no cell service so I could not call her but she called from pay phones). That child has a car at college and so obviously doesn’t call me when she makes a move like she does when she is home. And she has driven long distances on her own. </p>
<p>Second child, who had the accident, went back to driving several months later after recovery. Of course, I was nervous but she did not use the interstate and has only ever driven within 30 miles of home. In fact, the day of her accident she was going to a city 50 miles from home but wasn’t yet allowed to drive that far so was just driving one exit to meet friends who had licenses much longer who would drive the rest of the way (so much for my caution, she still had an accident in the short distance she drove). Then this past year from age 16 1/2 to age 17 1/2, she has been away at college in NYC and so hasn’t driven AT ALL except the two times she ever came home. She was home for a few weeks this past month and drove again but wasn’t allowed yet to drive any further than she has ever driven (still within 30 miles). Now, I am being brave again. We just left her at a job in another state for the entire summer and gave her the car to have there. Obviously, she won’t be calling me as she leaves and arrives like she does when driving at home. Yes, she was on her own at college in a major city and didn’t account for her comings and goings all year but that was not with a car. This is a big step for me that she is with a car. She is in a smallish town and I am not too concerned for the local driving there which is fairly similar to what it is like here. However, she does have a very close friend who lives 50 miles from where her job is this summer. That drive does involve the interstate, plus way more traffic than she is used to here in the country and also adds the element of finding directions that are not familiar and it does concern me some but I can’t never let her grow into this stuff. She isn’t nervous, I am! So, when we took her a few days ago to leave her on her own in that state, we did do a trial run to that friends’ house 50 miles from her job so that I was with her to guide the way and for my own sake to see if she could do it. I must say, I hadn’t sat in the car with her much since those permit driving days and all over again, i was nervous. I’m like “you are driving close ot the center line…that’s too risky, move over!” I knew I drove her nuts but it is my job ;-). So, now she is there. Hopefully, I’ll survive. In fact, I got word that she is driving to that friend’s house this evening (we won’t let her do it in the dark though she drives in the dark here but there is different as she is not familiar with the way or nature of the driving). I know the other family. They are well aware of our nervousness given that our D almost died last year and has been away from driving all year at college. I believe they had their D meet mine half way. I likely will call there later for my own peace of mind. </p>
<p>As I said, the kids are not nervous but I am. I know that my youngest D is likely way more cautious given all that she has gone through. Still, I drum my warnings over and over again about driving issues. I don’t do it with the other kid but not only is she older and more experienced, but she is just different. </p>
<p>Overall, I commisserate with you but have to say that at some point, we all get through this and have to let them grow up and do these things and not hold them back. We knew it was important for our D to drive again and not live in fear. Still, she has learned a lot about what can happen. I don’t wish that lesson on anyone, however. </p>
<p>Good luck on getting through this rite of passage!</p>
. Outlying locations without much traffic is a good idea. When my D took her driving test, we did it in a small town two hours away. She drove all the way there and back, and we still talk about how much fun that day was. That was the only driver’s license place with available appointments that week. My D called all over the state to find an appointment!</p>