<p>Fortunately, my D is like myself and builds mental maps. TheMom navigates by landmarks…no landmark, no clue. <shudders></shudders></p>
<p>Cangel, actually OC in general is not as bad as right around where we live. But you touch upon a good point: it’s the long layoffs without driving that delay eventual full competence.</p>
<p>Cangel, LOL! My daughter is similar - in not very spatially attuned and has no clue how to get anywhere - even if she has been driven to that exact location hundreds of times. (And DON’T ask her to map-read in high-stress situations - such as when you have to get somewhere using a map 
) Son learning how to drive has a map in his head and the instincts to get from point a to point b, with or without a map.</p>
<p>Anxiousmom - your son is something like me - if I have ever been to a place, especially if I drove, but also as a passenger, I can generally find my way back, but I am very visual, I have to have seen the route from A to B. I get very disoriented riding on subways, when I come up from the subway, I have no idea where I am, unless I have made the trip several times.
I am a fair map reader, but I do better once I have been to a place. I’m one of those map readers who, when trying to follow several turns, has to turn the map to orient it in the direction I am physically travelling.</p>
<p>My D is like someone with no short term memory - it is a new trip every time she goes somewhere. This is getting better now that she is a driver - I think it forces her to be more observant. Still though, last Xmas, when she and her bro set off alone to drive to Grandma’s house - a 300 mile trip she has made easily 100 times during her lifetime - we wrote out detailed instructions, she still seemed a little confused (What giant Pilot station with the big Wendy’s sign in the curve? I know the curve, but there’s a gas station?). Finally, her bro threw up his hands and said - “I’ll handle the directions” - they made it just fine.</p>
<p>In my state, one can get a driver’s permit at 14, so after some coaxing from my mother, we headed to the DMV and I passed my test. I wasn’t thrilled to start driving, but I reluctantly agreed to let my somewhat tense mother teach me the subtle nuances of automobile operation.</p>
<p>Retrospectively, this was my big mistake.</p>
<p>From gasping at “near-misses” to stomping on an imaginary brake at various intervals, she managed to make me so jumpy that I drove the car over a curb, across a lawn, and back onto the road, with her screaming at me from the passenger seat the whole time. </p>
<p>As a result, I am nearly 19 years old and I walk everywhere.</p>
<p>Sushi, I have 16 year old twins, and I was the main parent for both of their 50 hours of practice driving. One of my twins sounds just like your daughter and I agree it was really difficult. The other one took to driving like a duck to water. </p>
<p>I wish I had a lot of suggestions for you, but I feel like I get about a C+ on teaching that child to drive. She was nervous enough that it was hard to get her to practice. I used to joke that when I would tell her to change lanes, she would spend about a minute thinking of all the possible things that could go wrong if she changed lanes, and by that time it was too late!</p>
<p>In her case, she got really motivated as soon as her sister passed her driving test! They are now sharing one car between them and as far as I can tell, she is well past her nervousness. </p>
<p>The only thing that really helped was that I would try to find unhurried times on weekends and just go out with her. The streets would be less crowded and we wouldn’t have to be anywhere else, and I could really focus on explaining things to her and giving her tips.</p>
<p>PA also requires 50 hours, although my rising senior D had more than 300 hours by the time she got licensed. Hubby & I required that she take and pass both the in-class and in-car drivers ed, that she stay on the honor roll and that she have the money to pay ½ of her insurance before she got her license. We also wanted her to be proficient driving a stick shift (and she actually even bought a stick shift car). After she became proficient driving stick, her confidence improved dramatically. But when the time came to take the test, she was not very good at parallel parking and failed the first time. The next week she tried again (after more parallel parking practice ) and passed. The first three months, she was restricted as to where she could drive, and we still restrict who can go in the car with her (we have a list of 8 friends that are allowed to be passengers, only one at a time.) She did have a little fender bender two weeks ago (the other car wasnt damaged, her cars damage is minor) and she must pay for the repairs herself. Just this morning, she and her friend took their first long distance trip, 1 ½ hours to the Jersey Shore, and they called a few hours ago to tell us they had gotten their safely and having fun already.</p>
<p>My daughter took her first segment of driver’s training as soon as she was eligible (summer after freshman year, age 14 3/4) and proceeded to avoid driving at all costs. By the time she graduated this year, she only had 15 hours logged of the 30 necessary to take the next segment of driver’s training. After graduation, I told her enough was enough; she would take Segment II this summer and at least attempt her driver’s test before she left for college.</p>
<p>In her defense, I will say that not continuing her driving wasn’t totally due to her lack of interest. She had two surgeries in two years that meant she was in no condition to drive for extended periods (both due to the surgery and to the meds she was on). But by and large, she was more than ready to let Mom do the driving, until I told her my chauffering days were coming to an end.</p>
<p>What a difference a few years makes! Driving with her before left me with my life flashing before my eyes on a regular basis. Since I’ve had her start driving again this summer, I’m amazed with her improvement. Better depth perception, a stronger sense of potential hazards, and far more willingness to hear my comments/observations without shrieking at me (or I at her!) She’ll be taking Segment II at the end of July, leaving her the entire month of August to take her driver’s test. I’m reasonably confident she’ll have her license by the time she starts at school…she won’t have a car, but at least she’ll have some additional identification on her!</p>
<p>Parallel parking is no longer part of the driver’s license test where we live. It’s a good thing or neither of my boys would have ever gotten their license!</p>
<p>PackMom: Teach them. I am 19 and have no clue how to parallel park. You know how fun that is going to college in Chicago with my car?</p>
<p>I ended up hiring two excellent driving instructors through the driving school and D practiced with them for a total of about 12 hours. This increased her confidence and made it a little less nervewracking for me to be the passenger while she practiced for additional hours. </p>
<p>She passed her behind the wheel test this week. :-)</p>
<p>Now I have a new set of worries! ;-)</p>
<p>My DS didn’t get his license until July, after he graduated high school (he was 18). He said that among his friends there were two types of people - (1) those who couldn’t wait until they turned 16 so they could get their learner’s permit, and (2) those who viewed driving as something they’d be doing for the rest of their lives, and therefore gave it a much lower priority.</p>
<p>His decision (completely his) saved us a bundle on car insurance for two years, and when he did take driver’s ed and did his driving hours, his maturity level and judgement were that much further along.</p>
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<p>My D is still like that on the road and she has been driving for three years. I keep wondering when she will not assume the other guy is going to do the right thing.</p>
<p>I was a nervous wreck as a passenger when my daughter began driving - to the point that I hired someone to work with her. I was afraid that my nervousness would affect her learning process. For me it was money well spent and the gentleman that we hired even took her to the test.</p>
<p>She has become an excellent driver but perhaps has less experience than some of her peers because she is away at school in NYC. One (parental) plus to attending an urban school is that there is no need for a car.</p>