Our youngest graduates next year and we’re planning to move several states away from our current location. We are moving closer to my family and as of now, both DDs. One chose her college based on our move and her sis, the other currently lives there with her DH.
Just curious if anyone else is moving, how did/does it affect your kids? I’d love to hear if you went through this-pros, cons, things you didn’t consider-the good and bad.
We chose the future city based on pretty solid job prospects but I’m the one really pushing to go. We moved to a different part of the country years ago and I’ve been trying to get back towards “home” several times since.
Verify that if your kid attends an in-state public that s/he will retain in-state residency for tuition purposes after you move away.
Some (not all) states allow students who graduated from high school after attending for enough time to retain in-state residency after their parents move away. Some (not all) states’ colleges allow the student to retain in-state residency as long as s/he is continuously enrolled. But if your state does not do either of these things, a student may be reclassified as out-of-state if the parents move out-of-state.
We moved after our youngest graduated, older was out of college. Youngest attended a private college so residency was not a consideration. We moved for H’s career - his options were somewhat limited where we lived. I took a new job that is remote or travel, so it didn’t matter where I ended up, as long as it was near an airport. Older child had already moved to a different city.
We ended up moving after S began his junior year of college, so he left for the semester knowing we might move before the end of the term. Packing/moving was a little tricky, but I took photos of his stuff with my phone and texted him lots of “Do you still want this?” questions as we purged and packed.
S was (and still is) in a relationship with a gf from HS, so we purchased airline tickets for him to visit our former hometown, since she attended college in-state. H’s family lives about 1.5 hours from where we lived. We also purchased airline tickets for her to visit us in our new location.
Both kids were very excited about the move and are glad we did it.
I do miss my friends and colleagues, but thanks to Facebook I can keep up with them. I have only been back in the area once since I moved 3.5 years ago.
We moved to a resort area right after our youngest began his freshman year in college. Fast forward 5 years and we couldn’t be any happier. All of the kids have moved to various parts of the country for jobs and have little or no contact with anyone from their hometown.
We moved 2 years ago when my kids were a sophomore and senior in college. But we’re still in the same area. However, it’s not the house or neighborhood they grew up in. I decorated each of their new bedrooms. It’s important to me that they know they always have a room at our house.
I think they felt a bit melancholy about it, but they both totally understood why we moved and were excited about it for us. We are renting that house out now, but neither wanted to go there once our stuff was out and it was repainted.
I’d hate to ever move as I love my community. Very diverse, we take good care of the local pond and are active in local politics. We can walk to the commuter rail and be in NYC easily. Right now we have one kid on each coast and most of my family is in New England. DH’s family is also on either coast. Younger son still has lots of friends in the area, so it’s nice for him if we stay put.
I want to downsize now but H refuses since we still have the 3 oldest boys at home. We can’t leave the state because S17 is at a SUNY and we can’t leave our general vicinity while MIL is alive. At 93, she’s ensconced in her home with 24/7 health aides and we can’t move her and we can’t leave her behind. I really want a smaller house… And, eventually, I want to live where there is either never snow or I am retired so I can just tell the snow to bugger off and stay home.
@techmom99 check with your son’s school. Many (not all) state schools will let a student keep in state tuition even if parent’s move out of state as long as enrollment is continuous and there are no breaks, other than summer and regularly scheduled breaks. I understand you have your MIL, too.
We have a five-year plan (youngest is an incoming HS sophomore). The plan is to move within the state closer to wherever they end up - hopefully they end up in a certain region or we can split the difference.
Nothing ties us to this area. It was a corporate move. While nice to raise a family in, we don’t particularly want to stay here especially without family.
Thanks, but I am not going to be retiring within that time anyway, so even if I am so lucky as to be able to convince my H to downsize, we will still be staying in NY. It’s fun to think about leaving snow behind. We were at dinner with another couple recently and the H said he wanted to move out of NY and he would just not file for FAFSA. I told him that he needed to really look into it because his kids also attend SUNY schools. I said any savings wouldn’t be worth committing a crime over.
We are moving too. I have an only child and she graduates HS in a few weeks. We move the next day, two states away (employment reasons). She’s not thrilled about leaving her friends for their last summer together but we have two trips back already scheduled and she’ll probably make a third. I think that once she gets settled in college, it will feel better since most of her friends are not staying in the area for school. I’m praying that she meets people at college who will have family in our new state so she has people to hang with over breaks. If not, I can see her coming back to her old haunt for at least part of winter break.
@bearcatfan, one potential problem with this plan is that some young people don’t “end up” anywhere for a long time – if at all.
My kids have been out of college for a while (I stick around here because I like reading what some of the smartest and most thoughtful people on the internet have to say). Kid #1 moved to city A for a graduate program after college, then got a job in city B, was transferred to city C, left that job for one in city D, and then moved to city E when that company relocated. Kid #2 got a job in city F, moved to city G for a graduate program, moved to city H for a new job, and then bought a house with her husband in nearby city I. So far, between them, they’ve lived in nine communities, four states, and four time zones. And they’re only 32 and 28.
I’m not so sure that people “settle down” anymore.
Dunno—our kids have only lived in Honolulu abdcLA where they went to college. After college, S was hired and moved to the DC area. Initially he moved a few times but has lived in the condo he’s renting for some years now. D has remained in LA. They are 30 and 28 as well. S is still working for the fed govt, so hasn’t done much job hopping either.
We have lived in our same house for the past 26 years and have no plans to move, probably ever.
We plan on moving next year. Our youngest graduated college last June and the company that hired him after an internship relocated him to New England. The company moves people around every two years or so where he’s living should change. Our daughter is two years out of law school and working in the south and we don’t see her (ever) moving. We live in the mid-Atlantic and plan on moving south.
We don’t need a 4-bedroom house, am tired of high property taxes, snow, changing demographics.
We have three more kids to get through high school, so four more years. I can’t wait to move. We have lived in the same home for 20 years and the neighborhood has changed a lot during that time. I don’t want to go far, but about 30 minutes away would make me happy!
Yes! I would love to move and downsize! My youngest will be launched into college by next August. My dream/goal is move near the beach. I started a thread asking about affordable beach cities to help me plan for it…now to get my H on board is another thing (ugh).
Yes. We are moving within weeks of my D settling in at college this fall. We’re moving to the opposite coast and taking very little with us. In fact, there is a community garage sale in my town in two weeks and I’ve already moved half my kitchen items and most of our decorative items to the garage, ready to sell. We’ve all cleaned our our closets and either donated or consigned anything we haven’t worn in recent months. We’re very excited to be downsizing!
Great to see others planning moves too! It’s hard to believe that this time next year, we will have our house on the market. This year, they are selling quickly so fingers crossed the market doesn’t tank! I am trying not to think too hard about how all of the timing will work out.
DS is our last, will have the most involved college search, and is probably most likely to follow his career wherever it leads him. I’m hopeful we are picking a city that will be a reasonable distance from where they might land. I know our oldest will be in the region because her DH’s family is also in the region.
DH surprised me by mentioning moving closer to the beach in retirement. I was thinking this next move will be long term but maybe not!
There is nothing tying us to this area and I’m nervous that something will happen that stops us from leaving here.