Anyone Just Skip Over "Top" Schools Even if Child Appeared Competitive?

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I wouldn’t eliminate “top” schools from your list - UNLESS they aren’t a great fit for your kid. You seem to have time to research schools and find out what factors are important to you. And to visit schools and see if they live up to the hype! </p>

<p>Some of the criteria we used to narrow down our search: size; percentage of boarders; geographic setting; special programs. DD applied to some ACRONYMS and others, was lucky to be accepted at her two top choices, and is now happy and thriving and challenged at a non-ACRONYM “hidden gem”. We couldn’t be happier with her choice. </p>

<p>Is there a possibility that we missed The Perfect School during our search? Well, sure, it’s possible. But we couldn’t be happier with her choice.</p>

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<p>Each of you has a truly worthwhile perspective, thank you for your time in responding. We are entering this journey with pretty open minds, especially as my brother had a stellar experience at an obscure BS. I hope that we can find the right combination of a school with truly intellectually engaged peers without a pressure cooker environment. </p>

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<p>Trust your child’s reaction, too. I think you’ll know the right fit when you’re at it. All schools have some warts, but a sense of ownership and community is perhaps the critical factor.</p>

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<p>@OP: I think that parents with kids going to different schools are in the best position to answer your questions. I am sure there are some out there, so keep the thread alive for a while to maximize the chance of getting those parents to chime in. For what it’s worth, years ago we did exactly the opposite, i.e. we skipped the non-acronym schools altogether (although we were not aware of the “acronym” at the time), and DC spent 4 years in one of the best known boarding schools. To us, it was truly a rewarding and joyful journey, and I’d make the same choice in a heartbeat. At the same, it was definitely NOT a “walk in the park”, but rather full of challenges and sometimes getting very difficult. </p>

<p>However, my answer to your question would be - If you have good reasons to believe that the acronym schools share certain common traits that make them as a whole a non-fit to your kid, go ahead and “skip” them. You know your 14/15 year-old more than anyone else, and sometimes even more than they themselves, and you are in a high impact, high stake position in the process. One interesting observation from this board is that almost none of the parents with kids going to “hidden gems” have ever complained about their schools or their kids’ experience while more than one acronym school parents have come on here and expressed their disappointment one way or another. I am not quite sure what’s the takeaway from this observation (there may be more than one), but that may be something that could help you make a decision down the road. Good luck!</p>

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<p>MANY moons ago when I became interested in boarding school, my parents looked into it and took me to see Quaker/Friends schools. They wanted a service oriented, collaborative, non elitist boarding environment if I were to go away as it would fall more in line with our family values (and they found Friends schools to be along these lines, at least back then). I was coming from a very highly ranked day school, but they (more so than I) really disliked the ‘vibe’, even though the education was fantastic. It worked out well and I very much enjoyed my non-acronym school! </p>

<p>I would consider college placement, of course…but also the kind of environment you want your child in during very formative years. Acronym or non acronym is not really the issue, just overall fit for the student and for the parent who is tooting the bill and watching out for their child’s influences. I should add that for my sibling, the consideration was for the teaching of work ethic as he needed to be someplace where he would be pushed, in general, to work hard and get things done (be it sports, service, school work, etc.). They had a harder time finding a true service oriented non elitist school that stressed work ethic on all levels, not just for getting into a great college.</p>

<p>T</p>

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<p>I agree with several above-- don’t skip over acronym schools BECAUSE they are acronym schools. My DS is currently in his first year at an acronym school, and it does not seem in any way to be more of a “pressure cooker” than many of the hidden gems we know. Some of the kids certainly put pressure on themselves, but I don’t think it’s the culture of the school. He IS getting to go to school with lots of amazing kids-- amazing both academically and in MANY other areas-- and he’s found lots of them to be very friendly and supportive. That’s not to say an acronym school would be a good fit for any particular kid-- but just as I would never say to ONLY apply to acronym schools (my DS applied to one acronym and 2 hidden gems), I wouldn’t pass over them completely just BECAUSE they’re acronym schools. Or assume that, once you’re their, they’re big pressure cookers. Like many highly ranked colleges, the process of getting in feels terribly competitive but, once you’re in, people seem to relax.</p>

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<p>Daykidmom, I have a somewhat different take on the topic of “pressure cooker”. I think the a acronym schools do tend to be more of a pressure cooker than other schools although it may not be unique only to the 5 or 10 schools. I think it’s a natural effect out of a mix of stronger peer group, rigorous academics and high expectations about college admissions. You might feel it more when you kid becomes a junior. </p>

<p>Many of the posters advise not to take whether a school is one of the acronym schools into consideration when deciding which schools to look into and apply to, but the 5 or 10 acronym schools (depending on which one you use) do share some common characteristics. They are mostly schools that are highly selective, with better records for matriculation to highly selective colleges and larger endowments with good financial aid programs all at the same time (obviously even among them, things differ significantly in these measurements). There are some perceptions out there or on this board that are somewhat negative about these schools, such as they are more elitist, cutthroat and more of a pressure cooker. Having experienced one of them as a parent, I think there’s some truth in these perceptions although again it does vary significantly among these schools on these aspects. So for families and kids who want to avoid fierce competitions “at all cost”, then avoiding these schools makes sense and does give them a better chance of finding the sort of “nurturing” experience they are seeking.</p>

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<p>@Benley: Regarding your “negative perceptions” comment above, one thing I found interesting about this thread is that the “pro-Hidden Gem” parents have pretty much all said “don’t rule out ACRONYM schools”. I don’t see how that’s being negative.</p>

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<p>^^you know that’s not what I referred to as nagative right? Anyway, it’s my personal opinion that depending on ones circumstances one can skip acronym just as one can skip non-acronym. There’s not a clear right and wrong here. </p>

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<p>I’m applying to three acronyms and some other non-acronym schools, although Loomis is on par with most of them anyway, and being acronym or not has nothing to do with my decision ultimately on where to attend; if I get in anyway :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>^^My observation: whether or not CCers put Loomis in the acronym category, Loomis students and families consider themselves part of the Connecticutt boarding school world, which includes the likes of Hotchkiss, Choate, & Taft, so the perception within the community encourages an “acronym” mentality, as
already expressed in this thread. Not saying good or bad–it’s been OK for us and our DC because he’s fine with the competetive, get ahead orientation there and we are not local to Connecticutt so we’re not much involved with comparing notes with other families. But for those who might be wondering about the culture at Loomis, I’d just offer that it seems to us to be “more acronym than not.”</p>

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<p>So, PelicanDad, is Loomis a pressure cooker school? I didn’t think Taft was a pressure cooker school. My son has applied to both, and though I want him to get a good education and work hard, I don’t want pressure cooker. That is what he is leaving at his day school.</p>

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<p>I have not been to the Tabor campus in roughly ten years, since driving I-95 with the family one summer when we decided to check it out for fun. So, I’m not affiliated, but think the campus is in a unique setting, and it certainly has qualifications for the “hidden gem” list. I agree with those saying there’s no need to disqualify acronym schools unless there is some particular concern for the applicant that renders them a bad fit. Fit is a “local” decision, after all. </p>

<p>So, I recently came across a Tabor admissions booklet with college matriculation stats for 2009-2012, and the interesting element to it is that they are broken down by quintile. I think that this “unabridged list” highlights the fact that great students go to hidden gems and that these boarding schools can do much to secure admission at very selective higher ed. I hope that this information does not lead to pointless quibbling about “exactly what” has been reported by Tabor; admittedly, there are no aggregate numbers being given. Take it for what you will, but for me it’s a high-five testament to the accomplishments of a less-talked about gem, one that I had thought of, in blissful ignorance, as somewhere in the #20-50 pack. (Apologies to ChoatieMom, still shaking her head over the folly of a listing mentality.) You might entertain the thought that any kid who is putting in a good effort, whether in the top or lower half of the class, is being well served at a good gem (and one which for you might make more sense than an acronym). Let’s leave whether a so-called “non-prestigious gem” is worth the financial cost to one of those pre-existing threads you can search.</p>

<p>First quintile for the four years, enrolled at: Amherst, Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, MIT, Princeton, Stanford, Chicago, Penn, Yale.</p>

<p>Second and Third quintiles have boatloads of wonderful schools . . . and leading the bottom of the classes are, among many other fine institutions:</p>

<p>Fourth quintile: BC, Bowdoin, Cornell, Dartmouth, NYU, Trinity (CT), Berkeley, Wesleyan.</p>

<p>Fifth quintile: Bucknell, Dickinson, Elon, Franklin and Marshall, Gettysburg, Rensselaer Polytechnic, Rhodes, St. Lawrence, Trinity (CT), Tufts, Penn, Wesleyan.
~O) </p>

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<p>Let me throw this out there then since there are so many schools and we can’t visit every one and we have no personal network of people in the know. Setting aside many of the factors that reasonably are big concerns in most situations (financial aid, big name/lack of big name, location, likelihood of admission, record with college acceptance, sport etc.) so thinking just of the school feel and experience itself, do you have a few favorites?</p>

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<p>Hi geeza1. My contribution was that there are many families at Loomis, and a good number of students, that are aiming for placement in top 20 colleges & Unis and therefore, the culture of competition & drive IS more apparent there than we had originally thought. I feel I’m not making an observation that’s different from what 7Dad had to say about his very bright daughter at SAS. There are highly motivated, brilliant kids at all these schools and often these kids and the family expectations they bring with them dictate the general culture of “college stressing” that amps up in the last 2 years. Since I dont have kids at other schools where this ISNT an issue, I can’t offer alternatives; my observation is just that the Loomis community is every bit as much influenced by the acronym obsession at the next level (college) as any of the acronym prep schools. (BUT we’re still quite fond of it; it’s working for our child and he’s getting an excellent educational experience.)</p>

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<p>Everyone has a few favorites but they are all different. The problem is that it really depends on the kid. In cases like yours, people have recommended to work with an educational consultant who are knowledgeable in BS.
I hade made school listings for three students but the 3 lists of 30 great schools contained few overlaps between the three students.
Someone may prefer small family-feel schools, others large schools with lots of opportunities. Some prefer certain sports, hockey rink, pool (not all schools have those). Other sporty kids may prefer certain schools with less sports emphasis so they have a chance at varsity. Others may want schools where they can opt out with theater, as much as they can. (Some schools require 3 term team sports, not good for those kids). Some want specific language like Japanese or German (not many schools have those). Some want horses, others no horses. Some schools have great learning supports, others don’t. I had made spreadsheets with columns of numbers and items important to us: distance to airport, percentage of boarding students, % of students of color, % of international students, total enrollment, average SSAT/SAT/ACT, acceptance rate, existence of postgraduate, etc. Once done, patterns begin to emerge. Your figure of merit in school may be totally different from mine. I liked NMH school a lot but my relative didn’t like it because it felt too much like the school my relative wants to leave. </p>

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<p>@Marasalva
Here is one starting point,
<a href=“2013-14 Hidden Gem Applicant Thread - Prep School Admissions - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1545276-2013-14-hidden-gem-applicant-thread-p1.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>My point about listings is that other people’s lists are probably completely useless and irrelevant to you. payn’s description of making your own list is the way to go as a homemade list is built on all of the factors important to you and your student – no one can argue with it, and the patterns that emerge based on your needs and preferences will produce a relevant and useful decision-making tool — for you.</p>

<p>Charger: No head-shaking. Your “list” is based on facts from Tabor, and I like what they show – not a clinker in the bunch. As you all can probably tell by now, my definition of great schools is quite broad, and I bristle when I sense that someone is defining success by brand. Thus, my unfortunate foray into that thread that refuses to die… My bad.</p>

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<p>@PelicanDad I consider Loomis an acronym school, even though it;s not really in an acronym. But I really think that it would be my choice even if I got into like Andover or Lawrenceville, etc. I really liked the atmosphere of Loomis when I visited.</p>

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<p>One of our kids seems to want to be in a “pressure-cooker” environment and one doesn’t, so we have been weighing the pros and cons as well. How do the kids who like competition and pressure fare in a more low-key atmosphere? What if a kid needs the competition to be at the top of his game?</p>