ex. “…William can go where ever he’d be happy…we let him explore his own interests…we don’t meddle…we don’t even ‘get’ the fascination with the big name college brands…”
Suddenly fall of senior year William is gunning for all of the Ivies and Duke.
Not really… But I know plenty of parents talking about big name schools during application season, but the kid strikes out on all the big names and junior ends up at a local school that is fine, but no “big name”.
In some ways that was me. Here was what drove my feelings: I went to a state flagship for both college and law school. By not attending a high powered school I ended up at a very middle of the road workplace. My friends who attended more elite schools ended up working for " big law" and most quit when they had babies. They couldn’t balance the demand of those high powered places with family. I on the other hand worked for a low key firm that allowed me to work 10-20 hours a week on a highly flexible schedule that allowed me to be with my kids a lot and to earn what many would love to earn working full time. I feel very fortunate with the path I chose.
So I just didn’t see elite schools as all that necessary or great a thing. But my daughter despite me telling her about my experience was very drawn to the big name colleges. Very. It was important to her. Not me. She is at a top 10 school. bottom line is you have to let them be who they are.
As @Jara123 said, it may not be a facade. Despite what CC may lead you to think, I’m of the opinion that overall in the US, prestige obsession is greater among the teenage set than the parental set, so you certainly could have parents who are perfectly fine with the offspring going to where ever and the kid(s) gunning solely for top schools.
It is perfectly possible for a family to think that the kid should apply wherever he or she sees fit and for the kid to apply t top schools.
Will this anti-Ivy sour grapes stuff ever end…
3 You mean like my daughter, who thinks she has to have LuluLemons while I think sweats from Target are just fine?
Sometimes you can do an independent exploration of colleges and universities based on your interests and end up feeling like some of the selective schools are the best fit. Imagine you want a school with around 5,000 undergraduates in a non-rural/small town location, a focus on the undergraduate learning experience, a strong campus life, and an environment where academics are valued more than partying, though maybe there are still some sports teams to cheer for on the weekends. Suddenly schools like Duke, Georgetown, Princeton and Chicago are looking pretty good.
@baltimoreguy You don’t think they party at those ^ schools?@#!?
How many times have you asked this family where their child is applying? And how did you find out all the colleges on his list? Not everyone feels the need to share. Suppose their child is only accepted at his safeties? How might he feel if everyone knew all the schools he hoped to attend? Maybe he IS well qualified and stands a good chance at these elite schools. To announce that he’s applying to mostly Ivies and a couple safeties will likely be perceived as bragging. This poor teenager can’t win.
^Exactly. Why shouldn’t the top students in the class apply to elite schools if they want to? Especially since mnay of them have terrific financial aid for middle class families.
Why presume the parents are behind it? There is no shortage of kids who genuinely pursue big name college brands with little to no influence from mom & dad. Don’t presume that it’s parent’s faking the funk.
Maybe Grandpa has told the kid, “We know you are looking for merit aid and exploring your own state college system. And we think that’s great. But we’ve got some money set aside to help out with college expenses if you need to. So why not expand your list a bit?”
Maybe the family has run the NPC’s and learned that IF the kid gets into Yale, it will be cheaper out of pocket than the state directional two hours away. So while nobody is counting on Yale… who wouldn’t encourage the kid (if he’s got the goods) to give it a try?
Why so judgie on someone else’s kid? It’s not like they are asking you to pay for it!
@gearmom, he said
He didn’t say there wasn’t ANY partying. Sheesh.
Partying was highly valued at the Ivy I attended. So were academics.
The name recognition helps. Whether it is quantifiable, that is debatable.
One of the reasons where my son is attending college in August is that we know several very successful smart alumni. If there is a strong state school, there may be a lot of alumni from that school that a family knows.
Either they are humblebragging and trying to act above it all. Or you are being nosy and they were trying to deflect your questions as politely as they could.
Right. They don’t really “owe” you any explanation of their changing preferences.
Following one’s own interests. Applying to all the Ivies and Duke.
Not mutually exclusive propositions. Also none of your business.