I have been asked to participate in an intervention for a 62 year old woman who is addicted to painkillers. She has been spending tens of thousands of dollars purchasing Vicodin and other meds (Ambien) from pharmacies in India. We suspected something was amiss, but her husband just sent a letter to close friends spelling out the details. He is asking for help and support to deal with this. She has the classic trajectory, numerous injuries resulting in prescribed painkillers followed by addiction.
We are assuming residential treatment is going to be the best chance for recovery and need a plan to convince her to go voluntarily. I have told the husband we will take their dog during that time (he works long hours) and will research treatment centers in their area (Los Angeles area). I asked that he find out what their insurance will cover and whether they have a list of in-network providers. I am overwhelmed by the number of options for this type of treatment, it is very difficult to assess quality.
We know that she will be in denial when we confront her, so it’s going to be very difficult to get her to go into treatment voluntarily. If anyone has experience with this, or recommendations for professionals in the LA area I would welcome any comments, via this board or through messages. I’ll be away from the computer all day but will check in this evening.
I’ve been involved in an intervention for a different reason but I suspect the dynamics are the same. By all means, get expert help. I don’t have specific recommendations for professionals but if it were me I’d contact elder care services or al anon or maybe even check AARP.
This is why, from my experience, you need an expert: The lady may deny that there is any problem and put up a fight as you expect, but another pattern is that she will quickly concede. The tears will be genuine and she will promise to do whatever you ask. Nobody wants conflict so everyone walks away happy. After a short period things are exactly the same…except friends and family feel betrayed and the person who needs help is now alerted that her behavior has been detected.
An expert (and an outsider) may also recommend alternatives to the classic intervention. One result of the current drug abuse epidemic is that there seem to be new treatment approaches being developed after decades of the same thing.
Good luck. This is heartbreaking stuff.
I have no experience and no advice, but I wish good luck to all of you – especially her husband.
We sort of tried to do this with my father regarding drinking, but in the end Alzheimer’s took care of the problem. He missed hard liquor till the day he died, but we let him have a glass of wine with dinner and then mysteriously we were always out of anything else. Good luck. It can’t hurt, but I think it’s very hard to get through to people who are addicted.
Thank you for the comments. Otterma, I’m going to copy your comments to other people involved. One woman thinks we can just sit with her in shifts and oversee her recovery. I don’t think that sounds like a good idea for anyone’s sake, I’m not sure I could deal with someone in the throes of withdrawal from opiates. This is incredibly heartbreaking. This was a woman who was VP of a major corporation and had headhunters calling her constantly. Now she sits in a chair all day and barely speaks.
Interventions have relatively low success rates… they may be successful in the moment, but relapse is common - the person really needs to want to stop drinking, and as in every 12-step program, must be willing to admit they are powerless over their addiction, and that their life has become unmanageable. People may do it in the moment as they are confronted by those around them, but unless they really want to change, they will relapse.
As far as LA goes, I think the Betty Ford clinic does rehab for narcotics as well as alcohol. Not sure if they will require someone to have detoxed in a hospital before going there or not. You’d have to check. And as far as insurance goes, almost any residential program you call will tell you they take insurance, but they can’t guarantee how long someone’s insurance will cover a stay for, and that tends to pan out over time, as the patient is in treatment. Insurance companies will do everything possible to get someone out of residential treatment and into an intensive outpatient program or partial hospitalization program because they cost less. So be prepared for them to tell you they accept your insurance, but then find out insurance won’t pay for as long of a stay as the rehab facility is recommending.
Does she have a doctor she trusts that her husband can consult for help in determining the best treatment option? If not, I hear very good things about narc anon for families …might be a place to start.