Anyone wanna read my Cornell/Pomona ED essay? Posted, no messy PMing!

College Essays
1

<p>The Joker</p>

<pre><code>When I first saw Heath Ledger in a trailer for the Dark Knight the first thing I thought was…I’m totally kidding. This is not an essay about the Dark Knight. This is an essay about me and my outlook on life as something to be enjoyed, not wasted with worrying fear. However, I like to start all essays with dialogue, so we’re going to start over. 3…2…1…
“But Austin, you never take anything seriously…” nagged my now ex-girlfriend. “Pshh…what’s there to worry about? We’re in high school,” I replied in an admittedly pretty cool tone. “Us! Ok?! Us is to be serious about! Don’t you care?” I think we need some clarification at this point. I do care. And I do take some things seriously. What I don’t do is over think or over worry about menial things. Ok, back to the action: “I do care. Who said I didn’t care? Hey you wanna hear a joke?” I love this part. This is my favorite joke ever. It only gets a laugh about a quarter of the time, but when it hits someone it’s totally awesome. “Ok,” she reluctantly agreed. As if hearing a joke was some burden to her. “Why do women wear make-up and perfume?” I asked. “Why Austin.” I left out the question mark on purpose. “Because they’re ugly and they smell bad,” I couldn’t help but chuckle. And let me make this clear, I am not a sexist. It’s simply a hilarious joke. “Bye Austin,” She hung up the phone. Then broke up with me the next day.
I could’ve written an essay about my job as an accountant, or about a Boy Scout trip, or even about playing a concert at the Hard Rock Caf
</code></pre>

2

<p>Tell me what you like/dislike please :)</p>

3

<p>Somehow I dont think colleges will like this essay…</p>

<p>There are a number of problems with it, but the biggest is that you don’t actually tell a story about yourself.</p>

<p>Actually pick a theme and tell a story that is relevent to you. Thats what is intended in these essays.</p>

4

<p>What I like? I like how you posted it here instead of flooding my inbox.</p>

<p>What I dislike? Well, not so much dislike, but I just feel this is a rather feeble attempt at free-style writing (which I happened to have read several amazing ones).</p>

<p>P.S. My “critique,” if you will, is drafted with as much effort/gravity as that put in by the OP.</p>

5

<p>It makes you seem overly flippant, IMO</p>

6

<p>It seems very cheesy, for lack of a better word.</p>

7

<p>it is nothing but a really lame attempt at being funny. I would say re-write.</p>

8

<p>did anyone get the joke about woman?</p>

9

<p>You would actually submit this essay? Surely you are joking.</p>

10

<p>I see the approach you are trying to take but its overdoing it.</p>

11

<p>If you submit this essay, IMO, I think it would hurt you GRAVELY; even to the point that the college may reject you.</p>

12

<p>I could’ve written an essay about my job as an accountant, or about a Boy Scout trip, or even about playing a concert at the Hard Rock Caf</p>

13

<p>I like your style, but this didn’t do it for me. Jokes are good in essays, but not ones about women or ones where you almost threaten the reader. Think back to the essay you posted about your friend Mohamed and math class. It was still funny, but in a more subtle and classy way.</p>