Anyone want to critique my Common App essay?

<p>I already got it checked over by a friend of my parents who’s an English teacher, but a second opinion is always good. And random fact I recently learned, you proofread better when the text is on a red background.</p>

<p>I picked the topic about an important experience, just so you know.</p>

<p>No one expected a smile, much less a giggle. As I struggled to catch a glimpse through the bars, the orphan lay in her crib. My mother explained that this baby’s mom was very sick while she was pregnant, and that the baby was not very healthy. When the caretakers brought the baby out of the crib, she grabbed my bright red shirt. “She likes the color red,” my mom translated. I let her grab my shirt in her tiny little hands, and my brother and I made silly faces. Then I heard the most adorable little noise, accompanied by a smile; I realized she had just laughed.
With a surprised look on their faces, the caretakers told my mom that they had never seen her smile. I wondered why a baby would have never smiled. When we got back to the guesthouse, my mom told me the whole story. The baby’s mom was a drug addict, the father was long gone, and she was born too early, with no quality hospital anywhere in sight.
Every summer for a long time we went to visit my Vovó, or grandmother, in Brazil. Often we met with a mission trip group from a church near our home back in the United States. I did not take part in most of the activities because I was still not even in middle school, but I tagged along nonetheless. We stayed at a church’s retreat grounds in one of the poorest areas in Brazil. One of the activities was visiting an orphanage that also served as a daycare, and handing out toy cars, toothbrushes, and our old Gameboys. When we went to see these babies in their cribs, I didn’t understand the significance of this baby’s smile for a long time.
Once I realized that this baby was considered by most to be a hopeless case, it really sank in. They thought she was too sick to smile, too battered to feel joy, and too weak to laugh. My brother and I had her laughing, and we knew there was hope for her.
Now whenever something seems hopeless, all I have to do is think about that little girl who showed there is always hope. Although many memories from Brazil have faded through the years, that second when she smiled is engrained in my memory forever. That experience will always give me hope.</p>