Anyone want to grade my essay?

<p>I am typing this as-is (with spelling/grammar mistakes)</p>

<p>BB #8 Essay: Is the world changing for the better?</p>

<pre><code> Today, in 2011, the world is brighter than it ever has been. Countries like China, India, and Brazil are blazing ahead on the path of prosperity at warp-speed. New technology is poping up everywhere. People have high dreams for the future, but one thing stands in the way of their dreams for tomorrow--the threat of climate change.

The world is getting warmer. Scientists all agree on this at this day in age. With this change of the climate, sea-levels will rise, forcing millions to evacuate their homes. Low-lying countries such as Bangladesh will be devastated. The world will lose thousands of animal and plant species, destroying many that we haven't even discovered yet. Fertile regions will be turned to deserts, putting a strain on our food resources that will starve millions of people. Some scientists are saying that it may be to late to stop this from hapening, while others agree that we must change society from the ground-up to get rid of this looming threat. In either case, the bright light of the future just got dimmer.

On a lighter note, the world is getting better for many people. China now has a middle-class rivaling that of the United States, millions have had their hopes and dreams realized. Medical technology has cured deadly diseases in the past one-hundred years and promises to cure more in years to come. The internet has recently incited revolts against autocratic regiems in the Middle East. In India, where open defecation has been commonplace, even set into Indian tradition in many areas, toilets have been recently installed. This has caused disease rates to decline greatly in those areas. All in all, the future looks pretty bright for the hoards of people in developing countries.

So, is the world changing for the better? As with all vague questions like this, the answer is somewhat convoluted. Yes, millions (if not billions) are guaranteed to live better lives for the short term, but all of this may be overshadowed by climate change. Two forces are moving in opposite directions. The people are moving towards greatness, while the climate is edging into dispair. Only time will tell if we can overcome this threat as a society. If we cannot, all that we have achieved is lost.


<p>Please. Anyone?</p>

<p>I'm not sure what i would grade this as..usually on the SAT essay, you are supposed to take one side, but here you have taken both. You say that yes it is getting better, then no it isnt because of climate change...while it is convoluted and such, and with a minority of grammar mistakes/errors, I guess this would be a 6-7 in my book. I'm very unsure about taking both sides. It's always better and safer to stick to one side.</p>

<p>your example of climate change is perfect. if you wrote about how war/nuclear weaponry is on the verge of destroying mankind, fossil fuels running out, etc, then you would have had a solid essay, but once again, im not too keen on the "both sides" thing.</p>

<p>Thanks, to me it is full of description but lacking in material. I hate getting topics that I don't have a one-sided opinion on.</p>

<p>Next time, just take one side, and gather ideas that only support that one side. You shouldn't mention the other side or try to prove that one side is superior to the other.</p>

<p>both sides = no double digit scores STRAIGHT OFF.</p>

<p>The point of this essay is to ARGUE A POINT from ONE STANCE. Any ambivalence will be critiqued harshly.</p>


<li>You CANNOT EVER TAKE BOTH SIDES! This a big no-no lol. You must always pick one side and argue it to the best of your ability. If you are to pick both sides, here's an analogy: you're rowing downstream on one example, and then rowing back upstream in your next body paragraph. You end up where you started and not at your destination (which is a good SAT essay score). If you had picked one side and really argued it, you could have done amazing, however, the contradictory nature of the essay hinders your score. Perhaps re-write this essay picking one side under time constraints for some general practice? </li>