<p>I have made something I would like to call a draft of my common app essay. I have no idea whether I have done it correctly or not, therefore I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have some harsh critic on it and suggestions for improvements. I really need it to be excellent… Is there anyone willing to help a desperate student?</p>
<p>pm it to me.i would read it.</p>
<p>Sorry i wasnt able to reply by PM.I feel ur essay is very creative,nice concept and love how u related it to the real situation.if adcoms used essays alone you’d be in.Too bad i can suggest a title either but overall great job.</p>
<p>Yes although i observed that the adcoms know the writing of 17 year old and a 52 year old.they want something that they can relate to freely.the essay doesnt mean u have to write like nobel laureate.Its okay to replace repititive words but try to keep it a bit ‘casual’.hope u see my point</p>
<p>Thank you for your help :)</p>