Anyone willing to give me feed back on my Why Yale short essay?

<p>I have written 2, and while I am inclined towards the first, the second one is a little livelier. I ll pm you if you post here.</p>

<p>And fix the grammar please.</p>

<p>I'll read it</p>

<p>I'll be able to help with the grammar and writing and such, but I'm still confused as to what they really expect in the "why x" essays so I'm not sure how much help I can be there.</p>