Apartment Vs. Dorm conflict with Mother

College Life
1

<p>I am having an issue with convincing my Mother to allow me to get an apartment with friends on mine, that is across the street from my current dorm and is leased by bedroom, etc.</p>

<p>Background on financials,
Money is not the concern from what I know, My Mother who is paying a significant amount of my $32,000 tuition has a trust fund (not controlled by her due to various reasons- but has significant control on where it is distributed). The trust fund contains a more or less of a couple million dollars that she is to live off of for the rest of her life while helping me and my sister with college as of the wishes of my grandparents. </p>

<p>All throughout my life, money is what is she considers to be her life psychologically. It is what she holds over me and my sister to listen to her and get what she wants from us. Attention, even though she significantly tried to destroy our home lives. A lot of things had happened that I will be not be discussing.</p>

<p>Back to the apartment vs. dorm discussion. I will be a sophomore next year, almost all the people I know are getting a house or apartment next year to live in. I am feeling a lot of pressure socially to do the same but not so much pressure because I want to do it as well. It is the matter of convincing my Mother to allow me to do this and help me pay for it over the course of the next 3 years. The rent is $725.00 per month so totaling $7,250.00 for the next 3 years each year on a 10 month lease. The rent includes all utilities, Cable, Internet, Water, Trash, Electricity. It is also fully furnished so I will not be needing to get any furniture. The University owned Apartment Complex is in the best location possible considering I do not have a car to bring to school. Also, is this a bit pricey compared to other schools your sons or daughters are attending? </p>

<p>(In addition she is hinting at the fact and almost bluntly said that she wants me to be in a dorm until senior year.- I do not want to do that) </p>

<p>I do not understand why she is resistant when it comes to this subject, financials are not an issue and it is literally across the street from the dorm I am living in. It doesn’t make sense why this is a huge issue. </p>

<p>If anyone can share some insight on ways to possibly convince or get her to see the positives when it comes to this, it would be much appreciated.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance.</p>

2

<p>In general, I would say it is common for students to live in a dorm Freshman/Sophmore year and move to an apartment Junior/senior year. What is the norm at your school? Part of the reason for this, I think, is to continue to gain more and more independence/self reliance. </p>

<p>Do you want to live with your friends?</p>

<p>How much more/less is the rent in an apartment than a dorm?</p>

<p>How much more/less will food be?</p>

<p>Are there cheaper options?</p>

<p>Also, for the trust, whose money is it? If it is hers, then getting tuition/room/board paid is not a bad thing!!! </p>

<p>So as an outsider, I would say to talk to your mom about the long term plan.That you want to live in an apartment at some point to start transitioning to independent living…of course, your mom may not be so keen on that because that is less control over you. I would also look for something that would not be significantly more expensive. You may have to travel a bit more to get that.</p>

3

<p>Whether or not it’s common depends on the school. At my undergrad college, that was the common pattern - people moved off campus junior year. At my grad college, though, undergrads stayed in the residence halls through their senior year. That’s true at many colleges and universities. You may gain more independence/self-reliance, but if the apartment complex is owned by the university it may not be much different from living in the residence halls - just a different room set up.</p>

<p>I think you need to understand why your mother is opposed - have a calm conversation with her in which you express that you genuinely want to know why she’s opposed to the idea. It could be she has misconceptions about the apartment, or maybe she thinks you’re not responsible enough yet, or maybe the residence halls are significantly cheaper. Even if your mom’s trust fund is flush (which from her perspective, it may not be - it can cost a lot of money to retire), that doesn’t mean she wants to use the money to spend it on a significantly more expensive option when you have a cheaper one that’s been working fine.</p>

4

<p>Which is more expensive, the dorm or the apartment (including food costs for each option)?</p>