Applying: Barnard, NYU, U Mich, Wellesley & Mount Holyoke-Critique my common app pls?

College Essays
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<p>Please comment and I will PM to you. i was wondering if it was too common. Thank you so much in advance! Have a good day!</p>

<p>p.s- I am an international applying from Canada.</p>

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<p>Sure Id love to see it! Just PM me!</p>