I hate the faux sensitivity on both sides of the HH/MC issue. It reminds me of the “mommy wars” - perpetuated in the media more than it exists in real life. Celebrate away everyone!
When I was a young associate, I received a Christmas card from one of the senior partners, complete with a photo of him, his wife, daughters and dog next to a Christmas tree. Based on that, I felt comfortable wishing him a Merry Christmas as I left for the holidays shortly after receiving the card (despite his having a last name that could possibly be Jewish). Well, he laid into to me big time for saying “Merry Christmas” when he was “obviously” (his word) Jewish and “obviously” did not celebrate Christmas.
It was bizarre! If you don’t want someone to say Merry Cristmas to you, don’t send them a picture of yourself standing next to a Christmas tree!
(Apparently, his wife and daughters were Catholic and did celebrate Christmas).
Some people just like to pick a fight.
I hope you don’t work for that guy anymore!
" hate the faux sensitivity on both sides of the HH/MC issue. It reminds me of the “mommy wars” - perpetuated in the media more than it exists in real life. Celebrate away everyone!"
BINGO
nottelling what a tool! But that is precisely why I don’t say mc anymore, my experience was not nearly as horrid but my co-worker let it be known that there is a difference and she preferred hh. Oh bother.
The funny part is that most of the flack I see is from those who see “Happy Holidays” as an attempt to further 'de-Christianize" the US, the religious right warriors calling for boycotts of stores that have up ‘Happy Holidays’ and so forth. I have not found too many people who get offended if I said Merry Christmas to them. The most I have ever gotten is “I am not Christian, so I don’t celebrate Christmas”, at which point I’ll smile and say something like “Happy Holidays and especially a happy New Year”, and I have never gotten snark for that, because they understand the intent. Like i said, most of the ones I see a problem with are the Christian right with their claims that happy holidays is somehow ‘denigrating their faith’.
More importantly, the reality of Christmas is that the religious holiday has not been the big basis of the holiday for a long, long time. Even when the country was full of people who went to church, the biggest part of the holiday was not the religious, it was the gift giving and the getting together with family and so forth. The History channel had this wonderful history of Christmas, and it seems even back in early Christian period the time of Christmas was one of revels and not surprisingly, a lot of drinking. During the middle ages and then into the renaissance, a lot of the christmas season continued this tradition, people reveling and so forth (it was why the Puritans, with their core belief that the world was a horrible place if someone was having fun someplace), banished all celebrations of Christmas in England, and before that, our glorious forbears that tripped over Plymouth Rock.
That didn’t last long, and soon Christmas was back to being about revels and on the other end, the gathering of family and the feasts and so forth, and that continued on. In the 19th century the ‘modern’ Christmas came about, with the Christmas tree with decorations and so forth and also came to be something of a season, and that continued to change and grow. The religious celebration for many people, then most, came to be separate thing from the celebrations, with the growth of the secular traditions of the holidays, the holiday movies, the Thanksgiving parades with Santa at the end of the parade, the lighting of trees and decorating towns and so forth. It is funny, those who often bemoan how Christ has been taken out of Christmas, are those when they tell stories of past Christmases, talk about the getting of the tree with their family, the caroling, the hunting for gifts (as a kid) their parents hid, or remembering a more hard childhood where little gifts, like an orange, meant so much, it was about family and sharing and so forth, and when people mentioned going to church on Christmas it often was about being with family and other people, the sharing, and so forth.
In a sense, the two Christmases are much like human evolution, and the secular and the religious to me are related to each other the way human beings are related to the great apes, we have a common ancestor but have diverged quite a bit, and with human beings things like our body hair, our vestigial tail and some of our instincts refer to our origins, but human beings are also well different than the rest of the apes. Christmas the secular holiday has vestiges of the religious, but is a very different and has been around a long, long time, almost as long as the religious. That doesn’t mean that those who see the holiday as an important part of their faith are wrong, or that those who are of other faiths or no faith who don’t celebrate it in any form are wrong, rather simply that Christmas to most people is more than likely simply a time of celebrating friends and family and when they wish people a merry christmas, it is simply good tidings, and few say it with any intent to convert others; and likewise, if people wish others a happy holidays, it is realizing that people come at this time of year with a lot of different views and such, and tries to convey the spirit of the season they mean. The point is that whether someone wishes someone a merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays, the intent is the same, simply to wish good tidings and good will, and that is what counts to me:)
Christmas, like all the other light bringing December holidays, has its roots in the winter solstice. Maybe we can with everyone a Happy Saturnalia and see how far that goes!
I have no issue when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas. In my head, it’s the equivalent of being wished a happy winter season with extra days off.
What does irk me is the assumption by many that everyone celebrates Christmas - leading to awkward exchanges. I cannot count the number of times this month I have been asked, “so, are you ready for Christmas” or “Are your sons coming home for Christmas?” or “Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?”, etc, etc, etc.
My standard response is, “We don’t celebrate Christmas, but I am looking forward to a relaxing long weekend.”
Last week, a co-worker looked horrified at my response. Apparently in her universe everyone does celebrate Christmas. Today, a different co-worker asked how my Christmas was. I thanked her for asking, responded that we don’t celebrate Christmas, but had a nice relaxing weekend. She then whispered to me, “You’re Jewish, right?”. Uh, yes. Wondering - why are you whispering?
Needless to say, I am ready to move on to Happy New Year!
Would those of you who do wish everyone a “Merry Christmas” be offended if I answered, “It’s not my holiday, but if you do celebrate, Merry Christmas to you.” Assuming I answered in a pleasant tone of voice. 
Would my answer upset or startle you?
@momof3sons:
I think that is a great response, one that states your own non following the holiday, but also respects that they do. After all, the intent is what counts, and neither you nor the other person bore any ill will. It saddens me when people are looking for slights when none are intended.
@momof3sons, I would not be upset at all,and I’d hope I hadn’t offended you. What I’m used to if someone doesn’t celebrate Christmas, is a reply of “Happy Holidays” or “Happy New Year.”
dh has an obvious Jewish last name, I have an obvious Catholic or at least Christian first name. We are neither, though we celebrate secular Christmas. My community is probably half Jewish so I’ve gotten very much in the habit of just saying Happy Holidays to everyone. I said HH to everyone at the Hannukah party I went to, including friends who I know are Christian. It was just easier. I don’t take offense at whatever people choose to say to me. I’m good with it all! Happy Kwanzaa everyone!
I don’t know if I would be offended but I would be puzzled. Why do you feel you need to explain you don’t celebrate the religious holiday? Your response just puts the person who offered you good tidings in an awkward place - like they did something wrong. Is that your intent?
I’m not a Christian so I usually only say “Merry Christmas” in response to someone say it to me. I don’t feel the need to explain what I do or do not celebrate.
Let’s not forget Festivus for the rest of us…
My DS is dating an Asian and when they invited him to over dinner to meet all the distinguished aunts and uncles, it was around the Chinese New Year so he told them, my mother sends greetings for Chinese NY. He said the entire table of guests went quiet for what seemed an eternity until his gf burst out laughing, we aren’t Chinese! Now, my greeting was sent with all good intentions but it wasn’t received that way. Oh bother I will stick with happy holidays from now on.
Well, if I said merry Christmas to someone I knew, like a coworker or neighbor, I’d appreciate knowing that they didn’t celebrate–hopefully I’d remember in the future. As long as they were pleasant about it I wouldn’t consider it strange that they told me they didn’t celebrate Christmas.
If on thr 5th of May, someone said to me, happy cinco de mayo, i would never reply, but I’m not Mexican!! Ppl are annoying
I say MC only to folks I know are celebrating it. In stores, my trainer, etc…I just do the regular old “have a nice day”.
No, I wouldn’t be offended if you replied that it was not your holiday in a pleasant, non-accusatory tone. I generally say “Happy Holidays” during the holiday season, but on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day itself, I do tend to say “Merry Christmas” to those I run into, just out of excitement for the day.
Related question: What’s the best response if a Jewish person says “Merry Christmas” on December 25? Is saying “Merry Christmas” back considered poor form? Is “Happy Holidays” too generic? Or is a simple “thank you” best? (Not the world’s most pressing question, I realize, but I was kind of wondering).
“I don’t know if I would be offended but I would be puzzled. Why do you feel you need to explain you don’t celebrate the religious holiday? Your response just puts the person who offered you good tidings in an awkward place - like they did something wrong. Is that your intent?”
Yes, I think I would be puzzled too. I wouldn’t want to make someone feel uncomfortable, so if I didn’t celebrate Christmas, I’d just say, “Thanks, you too”. Wouldn’t give an explanation, or try to make someone feel weird for giving me a holiday greeting. Now if they started asking me a bunch of questions about my Christmas plans, Christmas shopping, or something personal, I would explain that I didn’t celebrate it, and immediately ask them about their plans.