Some interesting responses. Do those of you who think my proffered response might put the other person in an awkward/uncomfortable place also allow for the fact that someone wishing an observant Jew “Merry Christmas” might put the recipient of MC in an awkward place?
I stand by my opening post, except to wish Merry Christmat to all on CC rather than FB. Oops!
Haha. But I would not be in the least offended by your response as stated in #28 momof3.
“Some interesting responses. Do those of you who think my proffered response might put the other person in an awkward/uncomfortable place also allow for the fact that someone wishing an observant Jew “Merry Christmas” might put the recipient of MC in an awkward place?”
I think if someone felt that they were put in an awkward place by someone wishing them Merry Christmas, is looking pretty hard to take offense, and is probably annoyed quite often in December. This is still a predominantly Christian country, and whether one likes it or not, Christmas is everywhere, and people will use Merry Christmas as a greeting. To try to correct so many people, all of the time, would be a burden. So much easier to just say, “Thank you, have a nice day”.
Coming from a secular, half-Jewish, half-something resembling Christian family, and living in a pretty Jewish area, I’ve honestly never known a single Jewish person who was offended by “Merry Christmas.” If they were, they’ve never voiced that and many voice the exact opposite opinion- ie, they don’t really care. Same with Muslims. In fact, many of my Muslim friends text or facebook message me “Merry Christmas” on Christmas.
On the other hand, I have known quite a few people who call themselves Christian who get their panties in a bunch when someone says “Happy Holidays.”
People will always look for reasons to be offended in even the most benign things. I don’t have the time or patience for those people.
“People will always look for reasons to be offended in even the most benign things. I don’t have the time or patience for those people.”
I agree with that sentiment. I think it was a Dear Abby thought that one can choose to be offended, or one can choose not to be offended. I almost always choose not to feel offended, and life is much more pleasant that way.
Strangers or mere acquaintances may be clueless (they don’t know you) or slightly thoughtless but they don’t mean ill will. Your response, “It’s not my holiday, but if you do celebrate, Merry Christmas” strikes me as a passive-aggressive rebuke. Why not just accept the greeting, know in your heart that the person doesn’t know you, and move on? In other words, smile and nod.
"Coming from a secular, half-Jewish, half-something resembling Christian family, and living in a pretty Jewish area, I’ve honestly never known a single Jewish person who was offended by “Merry Christmas.”
You live in a really Jewish area? In rural Michigan?! Define really Jewish! From my growing up in the northeast perspective, “really Jewish” means, oh, say, 30% or more of people are Jewish, and most are not of the Christmas tree and Santa variety of secular Jew either. (NTTAWW being a secular Jew)
“Strangers or mere acquaintances may be clueless (they don’t know you) or slightly thoughtless but they don’t mean ill will.”
Likewise no one means ill will by HH but it sure gets interpreted that way!!
“Your response, “It’s not my holiday, but if you do celebrate, Merry Christmas” strikes me as a passive-aggressive rebuke”
It’s not really p-a, though. It’s straightforward.
Here’s an interesting analogy I read. And I’m really just playing devils advocate here as I personally don’t take offense ( unless the person is snarky like the shopkeeper I referenced, lol). Do you greet every 30/40/50 something woman you see on Mothers Day with Happy Mothers Day? Why or why not?
I try and assume people mean well if they’re actually greeting me and they don’t know me. I think what people are reacting to is reaction to the overly sensitive, safe space needing crowd who want to blend this country into a bisque instead of the chunky stew we really are. You tell me to have a great day, I’ll say you too. You wish me merry Christmas, happy birthday, festivus, Kwanzaa…back atcha and I mean it.
How about we assume the best in people?
Romani’s comment reminded me of a reporter living in NY when Nixon was elected. She couldn’t believe Nixon was elected because she didn’t know a single person who voted for him. Just because you don’t know Christians doesn’t mean they don’t live in Michigan. …
Romani - Back in college I wished a person “Merry Christmas” and he took great offense. If he had just said that he was Jewish it would have been fine, but that was not his reaction at all. Since then I have never wished anyone MC unles I knew that they celebrated Christmas.
Re #48: Why would I say “Happy Mother’s Day” to anyone other than my mother (and grandmothers, when they were alive)? The question makes no sense to me. The only person who ever said “Happy Mother’s Day” to me was my daughter, and that’s only if she happened to remember.
Wow. How on earth does anyone jump from a Merry Christmas to a single person to wishing all women of child bearing Happy Mother’s Day?
People are seriously looking for offenses where none are meant. I agree with eyemamom - try to assume the best in people. I’m a happier person when I do.
It’s kind of like someone telling you to have a nice day, and you inform them that you aren’t having a nice day at all. You are constipated, have a cold, and nothing to do but chores all day, so keep that “Have a nice day,” stuff for someone else, thank you very much! Or someone mentions what a beautiful day it is, when you’re visiting California, and you blast them because it’s really not a beautiful day in Seattle, where you are from, because it’s raining.
Though I must admit, on my last trip (working the week of Christmas, in particular on Christmas eve, and Christmas), I was listening to and told both Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, constantly. I must have heard those phrases over a hundred times a day, and I was getting pretty sick of it. I just wanted to go home, and not interact with anyone except for my family. On Christmas, I finally started saying, “It would be a merrier Christmas if we were at home with our families, instead of working. But thanks for working Christmas!” At least I said it with a smile, and everyone who was working, agreed with it vehemently. People who manage to make it home to be with their families over a special holiday are very lucky, and I think many times we don’t really appreciate that others have to work. Especially those who have little kids, that is tough for them.
Well, since my bday is Festivus, I am wishing everyone a happy Festivus next year! Without fail! 
Thank you to the OP for starting this thread. While I think of myself as someone who ‘assumes goodwill’ I’ve always wished people HH and have always felt mildly irked by MC. I naturally respond with HH (no tone, given with a true smile). Honestly, I’ve never given it all that much thought other than it seemed slightly presumptuous to wish MC vs a more generic HH. I love people’s perspective that they’re, essentially, being wished a happy day so I’m going to shift my thinking and work on accepting it that way. Unless it’s December 25 and I’m with someone I know celebrates Christmas, I will continue to wish people HH and hope people know my intent is simply to wish people a good and happy season.
@momof3sons said “Would those of you who do wish everyone a “Merry Christmas” be offended if I answered, “It’s not my holiday, but if you do celebrate, Merry Christmas to you.” Assuming I answered in a pleasant tone of voice.”
This strikes me as negative, but I’m not even sure I can explain why. I know you don’t mean to be negative or to offend anyone. However it sounds to me like the reaction people get when someone says “what a nice outfit” amd the other responds, “what, this old thing?”. I know it’s not the same, but they’re both ways to reject someone’s attempt to just be nice or polite. When you say “it’s not my holiday”, it comes across as “I reject your good wishes”. Does that make sense? Your response, like the response to the comment about the outfit, makes it about yourself, not about the good intentions of the person speaking. Most people respond by saying to themselves “well, sorry I said anything at all”.
In my opinion, the worst possible reaction, though, is the customer who berates the clerk for saying “happy holidays”. Do those people honestly think Jesus would pat them on the back for yelling at someone just for trying to be nice? Shame on them.
The whole thing has gotten so complicated that it’s probably best to just shop at Amazon and stay home
And then they wonder why people aren’t more friendly.
" I know you don’t mean to be negative or to offend anyone. However it sounds to me like the reaction people get when someone says “what a nice outfit” amd the other responds, “what, this old thing?”. I know it’s not the same, but they’re both ways to reject someone’s attempt to just be nice or polite. When you say “it’s not my holiday”, it comes across as “I reject your good wishes”. Does that make sense? "
Sure, it makes sense. It also makes sense to me that the person trying to be “nice and polite” but who assumes everyone celebrates Christmas isn’t really thinking it through all that well, and while their heart may be in the right place - I mean, Jesus (LOL), I’m in a major freakin’ metro area, not East Bumble, Arkansas where one might be forgiven for thinking non-Christians don’t exist. Again - I don’t get offended, but it just seems like such a no-brainer to do HH when you don’t know someone (and you’re exchanging greetings in a store or somesuch).