<p>I’m with Just2Now…I sometimes think the college experience is wasted on the young! I think most of us would appreciate living the life our students are living right now. When I was in school (many many years ago) I didn’t really enjoy it. I just wanted to get out. Now that I read for pleasure and enjoy writing and am in book discussion groups I think, “THIS is when I should have gone to college!” My friends and I are just begining to admit to ourselves that we are actually envious of our kids when we walk the campus with them. WE want to go to school there…oh well…not our turn.</p>
<p>I remember how rough it was (for me) when my daughter started college. I thought we would talk every few days at the beginning but she thought weekly was more then enough. Her college has horrible cell reception though so she has to be in certain locations for reception or have a quiet moment in her room, so that takes a little more planning. IM works, but is not satisfying for me. As a sophomore, we would talk every 10 days to two weeks. I would rather have a longish call when she’s awake and has time to talk then one of those hurried conversations that happen just because it’s been awhile and one of us (me) feels like talking, but the other doesn’t.</p>
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<p>Exactly!!! Why should my son have all the fun? So, that’s why I retired to take a job with a University. Other than missing the wife, no regrets. Colleges are fun.</p>
<p>As an aside, the Vice Chancellor I work for gets free tickets for the football games, which she distributes to the staff. I put in for several games, Iowa, Michigan, and Temple. As soon as I wrote it, I knew which game I was going to get. Nothing against Temple, but I really, really didn’t want to see them play. Well at least it will be in early September and still relatively warm here. </p>
<p>On Wisconsin.</p>
<p>It never felt quite right when I was on campus as a teen but now as an adult, I feel more at home on any campus than anywhere else Weird huh? I first noticed it when visiting campuses with my DS and feel it again visiting with my DD. I just want to be there! </p>
<p>tsdad, I could do exactly what you did and be really happy. What do you do for the Univ?</p>
<p>a recent article on the topic … </p>
<p><a href=“http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2005/08/20/case_of_the_hovering_parents/?page=1[/url]”>http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2005/08/20/case_of_the_hovering_parents/?page=1</a></p>
<p>It’s in my public profile under occupation. Click on my name.</p>
<p>3togo, thanks for the link but that article is about overinvolved parents. I would never think of hovering over my son. As I noted in my post above, it was four weeks before I heard from him from school. </p>
<p>It reminds me of a story. When my son was checking in at orientation last year, the lady and her son in front of us were BOTH picking up their registration papers. The mom was going to attend school with her son! Poor kid! He looked miserable. </p>
<p>When I say I wish I was on campus, I meant a DIFFERENT campus than my kids. I would never, ever impose myself on them in that way. They must have their space and grow up without my interference. </p>
<p>tsdad, Wow. Quite a position. Is there really enough complaints to have to warrant such a department?</p>
<p>My work is only one part of the office. <a href=“http://www.wisc.edu/edrc/[/url]”>http://www.wisc.edu/edrc/</a></p>
<p>Remember UW-Madison is composed of over 55,000 people including students and staff. A lot of issues can come up with that many people.</p>
<p>That’ a big school! I am familiar with UT Austin (about the same size) so I guess I can see where that would be a big job. </p>
<p>How is it that you live away from your wife? Isn’t that difficult? Also does working in the administration satisfy that “wanting to be on campus, wanting to be a part of the learning environment” urge for you?</p>
<p>I miss my wife which is understandable after 30 years of marriage. We talk at least 4 times a day on the phone and e-mail each other often. She’s not eligible for retirement, and she has a pretty senior level Federal position that she is very happy in. </p>
<p>On the bright side we’re dating each other again, and tend to be on our best behavior when we’re together. We try and see each other twice a month. Two weeks ago we met in Chicago for the weekend (for the third time since I’ve been out here). We’re going to Aruba for 10 days on Friday. I’ll be home three times in September and October and well be visiting relatives in Alabama for several days. In November she’s coming to Madison for a long weekend on Veterans Day. Well be meeting our son at LAX on Thanksgiving day (he’s at USC), and then hell join us for the weekend in Palm Desert where were staying for the week. Depending on the airfares my wife and I would like to go to London from Christmas to New Years. We did that several years ago and it was great.</p>
<p>The people I work with directly including the Universitys top administrators are very nice, informal, hard working, and committed. I tend to get involved in some very difficult conflict situations and that can get you down. But there are lots of plays, concerts, movies, lectures, books, sporting events, and the lakes to keep me occupied.</p>
<p>BTW, I also miss DC but not the traffic or the heat.</p>
<p>Just2now I think we are sharing the same life! My D has always been independent and i find myself needing a call more than her. And feeling a little hurt she doesn’t call. But I don’t remember calling home very often and it wasn’t a reflection of how I felt about my parents. but…sigh…</p>
<p>I got this in my e-mail as I too am going bac to school in the fall…</p>
<p>There is a job opening in my department for a full-time grad student. The
position is a Graduate Housing Assistant for the Department of Housing.
The position is a 25 hour/week committment, for room, board, and a $5000 stipend. We are looking for someone responsible, reliable, creative, and professional. Preferably someone with some housing/residence life experience. Start date is mid/late September.</p>
<p>Do you think D would really be upset if I quit my job, ran off to live rent free? Sounds mighty tempting. If the dog could come also, I’m in :)</p>
<p>Let’s start a revolution…all us middle agers will run the kids off the campuses! I’m in…who’s with me?</p>
<p>tsdad, I think you are going to see more of your wife in the coming months than I will my husband and I live with him. Sounds like you guys have really made it work for you. Best of luck!</p>
<p>HoyaMom: I am SOOOO in! I’m another of the jealous parents - and while I wouldn’t relish the idea of papers and tests, I love the thought of living in a small space that would take approx. 15 minutes to clean. And I would even clean it (unlike my child!).</p>
<p>We just dropped our S off at college on Sunday. He’s in the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M, and it’s their freshman orientation week (basic training/boot camp). As part of the deprivation, they took away their cell phones and ethernet cables for a week.</p>
<p>The exciting thing is that they are having a “review” (where you watch them march as a unit) tomorrow…only 5 days after we left him there! The parents are invited and they are having a dinner for us afterwards. It will be great to hear all of his “war stories”.</p>
<p>They don’t have to be back to their rooms until 11 p.m. and my husband was thinking we’d stay until then. I reminded him that S will be wanting to visit with a certain young lady he is interested in and hasn’t been able to see all week (she’s an incoming freshman, too). I think it would be best not to overstay our welcome. We’ll watch the review, eat dinner, visit a little, and then leave.</p>
<p>I’ve learned the same thing about IM, as we have a D who is out on her own. Too much is a bad thing. <em>Usually</em> wait for them to initiate the conversation, but you can start it sometimes (otherwise they think you’re expecting them to start talking every time). Always be the first to say, “Well, I’d better go”. If you bug them too much on IM, they’ll change their screen name and not give you the new one!</p>
<p>I don’t know about the calling yet. S has always been good about calling me when he wants to share some exciting news or something, so I’m hoping he’ll keep doing that while he’s away. I’ll probably call 2-3 times a week to start if he doesn’t call first, though. Again, I’ll keep it short and be the first to say I have to go. Leave 'em wanting more, and all that. :-)</p>
<p>By the way, I cried.</p>
<p>Yes, I found that with IM, you have the ability to “see” when S is on the computer, when he is “away” and when the computer is idle. Because of this I quit firing up IM all the time at work and home. I could see when he became idle at night (2:30 a.m) and started suspecting late night video games. Then I could see if he was idle or away during his class time. I could tell that this was going to be negative for both S and me. He would realize I was lurking and I would worry if he was on the computer when he was supposed to be in class, etc. This could easily end up in a negative spiral of resentment and worry.</p>
<p>why didnt the bold work?</p>
<p>Let’s see. Tried the weekly phone call with S when he was a freshman 2 years ago. Decided Sunday morning wouldn’t conflict with his plans except he was usually asleep when we called and it wasn’t especially convenient for us. He also has terrible cell phone reception. IM and email seem to work best, though when an email sits for several days I get annoyed. Never thought to stalk through IM, can’t keep close enough track of their schedules to really do it anyway. One thing I’ve learned with IM is to try and be the one who leaves first. With all messages it helps to have something they want to hear. Maybe it’s the score for their HS’s first football game of the season, an event in the family etc. If you start with some tidbit it seems less intrusive then jumping right to How are you? What are you doing? etc. So far I’ve emailed and IM’d D a couple of times. Once to say that I had gotten her added to my buddy list and once to find out where the umbrella she wanted might be. Each time we went on to general news.</p>
<p>Just tell them your cell plan requires them to call home and stay on the line for at least three minutes or the phone will go dead. or “Don’t worry, If I don’t hear from you, I will know you are unconcious lying on your dorm floor and I will get there as soon as I can.”</p>
<p>Give the kids a break, let them call when they want…can you imagine the settlers coming across and never knowing if they would get mail from relatives back east. A few weeks isn’t too bad…monitoring their computer use…scary.</p>