<p>Son (22 y.o) needs to send a sympathy gift to a family, related to his girlfriend. He has met the deceased (about 60 y.o.) and family. They are not Jewish. Is a food gift OK? I suggested a plant with flowers inserted. Other thoughts? He will have the gift shipped. Thanks.</p>
<p>I would not send food or plants or flowers. While flowers look nice, we had a hard time figuring out who would take the plants/flowers home after the service, especially since some of us were getting back on planes. Unless he is going to be right there to offer homemade food, I wouldn’t do that either, because you don’t know what is needed, who will or won’t like it, etc. I always give to organizations mentioned in the memorial notice “in lieu of flowers, please donate to X” because I know it’s wanted by the family and will do some good. It’s always been appreciated.</p>
<p>I agree. He should write a nice note to the family. Then make,a donation to wherever the family wishes in memory. </p>
<p>Some people might find a plant a burden-- they’d feel they have to take care of it, and figure out what to do with it, and so forth, at a time when even the most mundane tasks feel difficult. I’d say food or flowers are a safer gift.</p>
<p>A note sharing a memory from a 22 year old would be touching.
Nothing more is needed for a GF’s extended family unless he has spent significant time with the deceased.</p>
<p>Thanks. I also thought a donation and a note would be adequate. </p>
<p>A note or a card…nothing more.</p>
<p>I agree. A note or a card, and a donation if there is a cited organization.</p>