Are 8th graders absolutely crazy?

College Confidential Community
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<p>I thought I’d ask CC how to talk to my nephew. </p>

<p>He’s in 8th grade and is a really switched on kid. Unlike his older brother, he’s already got his sights set on where he wants to go to school to play football – Cal Berkeley. Apart from the fact that I am impressed that he’s driven and he is wedded to the notion of playing football, I sincerely doubt Berkeley is a good fit for him academically (I am pretty sure he wouldn’t get in) or athletically (I’d be amazed if he’ll have the size or speed to play IA football anywhere let alone in the Pac 10).</p>

<p>So, I want to tap into his natural enthusiasm and drive and get him moving in a more realistic direction.</p>

<p>His mother (my sister) died this past year, so my brother and I are the only ones who will intervene in this respect. He’s got a committed father who knows nothing about the college admission process. My nephew will receive some support for college. He is from a state that doesn’t send many folks to college, so he might be in an easier applicant pool for some colleges.</p>

<p>He’s going to visit me this summer. He’s already taken his own initiative asking people what he needs to do to get his college wish. He knows (or thinks) he wants to leave his state and head to California where he lived when he was in elementary school.</p>

<p>QUESTION: What things can I do and say to engage him further in thinking about college and preparing for it? Should I try to lay it all out? Should I take him to visit a couple of college campuses so it becomes more concrete? Any ideas would be welcome.</p>

<p>He’s also actually a really skilled soccer player, and I think he’ll end up more likely as a collegiate soccer player than a football player, at least in terms of his size and agility. Though it’s absolutely likely he’ll not be at the collegiate level in any sport.</p>

<p>Anyway, I don’t think 8th graders are crazy actually. Certainly my nephew isn’t. I was trying to hook some CCers interest in hopes that some would offer me advice.</p>

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<p>When I was in 8th grade I wanted to be an actress. Then a journalist. Then a psychologist, then a chef, then an investment banker, then an artist. Maybe a rock star once or twice. I had my heart set on each and every one of them. </p>

<p>Kids change their minds. Just give him a prod in the right direction but DO NOT tell him that he won’t get into Cal or that he won’t be able to be a D1 FB player. It’ll crush his spirits.</p>

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<p>I actually think it might be inappropriate in this case to gear him towards college stuff. I’ve never really heard of an 8th grader that fixated on a school (other than if their sibling goes there!). I would say the safe bet would be to encourage him to play soccer. Maybe you can implant the idea of good grades as being important to college. But hold off on the majority of this college stuff. He’s young. It’s good to have a little ambition. Hopefully, that will help him succeed in HS. But, I would not recommend gearing him in that direction more.</p>

<p>I wanted to be…in business. Now, my plans are completely different. I agree with Halie about the flipping thing.</p>

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<p>I say let him dream. Reality will set in by 9th grade, and with regard to sports at least, his peers will take care of that. Summer programs are a great place to help with options. Stanford has a summer soccer program my son attended. There are a few levels, and for the older kids, it prepares them for scouting-recruitment. He used to say he was the first in the family to attend Stanford. Until recently was holding on to the idea of college and professional soccer. He knows better now. And he wasn’t too bad at it either. Soccer is REALLY competitive in California.</p>

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<p>Thanks for that. I didn’t mean to leave the impression that I’d ever say this to him. I never would. I’d never even imply it. I just want him to see that if his path doesn’t lead him to Cal it doesn’t mean that his path has taken him in a bad direction. And the fact is I have no way of knowing on either account whether I’d be right – i.e. that he couldn’t play football at Cal or couldn’t get in. I actually think he’s someone who can do pretty much anything he puts his mind to, but his mind is much more into athletics than academics.</p>

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<p>bump 1234</p>

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<p>8th grade isn’t as young as people think. People have a tendency to treat 16 year olds as delicate, innocent children and 18 year olds like responsible adults, which they are not.</p>

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<p>bump 12345</p>

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<p>Has he hit puberty yet? Maybe he’ll get bigger and faster by sophomore year. Definitely take him to see a collegiate game maybe. In a conversation, let him bring up the topic of Berkeley/football. Advise him not to set his mind to it, a goal is ok, but not a complete mindset. Tell him about how You changed your mind many times in high school and in college.</p>

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<p>“So, I want to tap into his natural enthusiasm and drive and get him moving in a more realistic direction.”</p>

<p>Don’t bother. Life will do that for him.
Since he is from a state that doesn’t send many to college, I think it’s a good idea to follow your instincts and have him tour some college campuses – campuses that are very different from each other so he gets an idea of the range of possibilities.</p>

<p>Realize also that it’s very, very, very hard for out of staters to get into Calif. public colleges. In addition, the odds of their getting decent financial aid are extremely low.</p>

<p>If $ will be an issue for him, let him know what he’d have to do (grades, coursework, etc.) to have a chance at the Cali. private colleges that will give 100% financial need. You can do that by having him tour colleges and go to the info sessions.</p>

<p>Since his state doesn’t send many to college, it’s likely that his GCs won’t be of much help, so the more info he gets this summer, the better particularly since the courses he’ll take in 9th grade will be important in terms of whether he’ll be able to go to a four-year college. He’ll need to take the hardest curriculum that’s available at his school, and unless you intervene, it’s possible he won’t be aware of the need to do that.</p>

<p>If you can put him into some kind of summer program in your area that matches his interests and talents that may help him because he’d be likely to meet students his age who are on track for college, and he could learn a lot by being with them – including seeing what the competition is like, and getting some peers who share his values. </p>

<p>Perhaps, for instance, a local college offers some kind of interesting summer program for rising high school students. Could even be for aspiring football players. </p>

<p>Good idea, too, to let him know that while it’s great that he has a goal now, many people change their goals, and that’s OK, too. What’s most important is having some kind of productive goal to work toward.</p>

<p>It’s wonderful that you’re providing him the extra mentoring and support that he needs due to his mother’s death.</p>

<p>What state does he live in? There are people here who probably could provide excellent info about options in his state – something important for his father and him to know about since typically one’s best college options – including financially – are in state publics.</p>

<p>Also post on Parents Forum: lots of supportive, wise parents there.</p>

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<p>Don’t discount younger siblings getting their sites set on colleges even at that young age. Especially the first child is in it, the others start spewing off where/what/how they will do things differently set their own goals.</p>

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<p>Why yes, it does appear 8th graders are completely crazy: </p>

<p>[url=<a href=“The Onion | America's Finest News Source.”>The Onion | America's Finest News Source.]Link[/url</a>]</p>

<p>Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.</p>

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<p>oh please, we all were 8th graders at one time</p>

<p>and a lot of us didn’t think of ourselves as crazy when were we 8th graders</p>

<p>how are we to judge our past? really, older people are probably crazy according to the perspectives of 8th graders</p>

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<p>lol i was also a “republican” in eighth grade.</p>

<p>…i think he has a ways to go before he starts making important decisions about his career choices and education as well as in life. haha</p>

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<p>When I was in 8th grade, I wanted to go to Stanford. Now I’m at the U of Illinois, so see, sometimes we do better than we had dreamt.</p>

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<p>Well, though you apparently didn’t read my post all the way through to the last paragraph, at least you did post. Thanks for your input on how to view 8th graders. ;)</p>

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<p>Indeed, these schools are on a par or near par in several disciplines, IMO. But so far the Illinois siren song isn’t calling out to him.</p>

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<p>I’m sure he will realize what life is about in around 10th grade. I wanted to be a professional basketball player even after I got cut from my High school basketball team and worked on it until i got cut again sophomore year…i have finally realized that, that is definitely not what im destined to do, and everything is working out perfectly…I say let the kid dream/.</p>