<p>What’s going on with our girls? </p>
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<p><a href=“http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16691386/[/url]”>http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16691386/</a></p>
<p>girls aren’t “meaner”, they are just showing their aggressions in more obvious ways…those same girls 16 years ago would have been just as mean, but maybe not as physical</p>
<p>yeah girls are just as “mean” but now they aren’t required to act like “little ladies”–so in the past they were more passive aggressive and now they are a little more aggressive</p>
<p>My daughter had this to say about about some particularly mean high school girls a few years ago, “They let themselves be exploited by the guys, then they feel awful and turn their anger on other girls.”</p>
<p>Boys and girls can both be mean. It’s just that girls can be mean longer. Boys are more apt to punch each other and forget about it 10 minutes later. Girls can carry on for weeks, months, years.</p>
<p>I just wonder if teaching our girls to be assertive has packed a little too much muscle, or if girls have just held back all these years due to the “sugar, spice, everything nice” expectation.</p>
<p>SuNa, your daughter sounds pretty wise (and compassionate). It’s amazing how much insight kids can have.</p>
<p>As a former Soccer referee, you have to pay attiention to girls far longer than boys, issues don’t die as quickly. Boys will have a dust up, a few seconds later it’s over and their back to playing. Girls will wait, sometimes even past the first game and exact retribution. So when you ref girls you have to register early any minor conflicts and keep an eye open even an hour later in the game. </p>
<p>As far as actual fighting goes in the general population, I would say it’s on the rise as girls seek attiention even with a negative because they have such a need that is not being met elsewhere.</p>
<p>I think it’s probably true that girls fight physically more than they used to, but it’s really hard to get accurate longitudinal data on something like kids fighting. Kids used to fight all the time, even at school, without the police getting involved. It was considered part of growing up, for boys at least. </p>
<p>And it’s hard to compare statistics about girls over time. In the past, people may have taken girls fighting less seriously, but as our society becomes less tolerant of violence by juveniles, the girls who do it may be more likely to be arrested than they used to be. OTOH, people may be more inclined to call the police because girls being physically aggressive breaks the social norm.</p>
<p>Since Margaret (“milk-snatcher”) Thatcher, it’s all been down hill.</p>
<p>SuNa-- I too think your D is on to something.</p>
<p>Today, I had a long session with one of the young women in my college program. The main reasons aren’t important, but one thing that stood out was when I asked about friends, she said she doesn’t have any. She keeps away from other girls because “they back stab you.” I refered her to the college counseling center for other reasons, but in relaying the latter statement to a counselor, she said “what’s going on? I hear that from more than half the girls I talk to.”</p>
<p>So tonight, over dinner, H (pediatrician turned HS teacher) and I were discussing this, and he said basically the same thing as SuNa’s D: misogyny in society gets internalized by the girls, and they turn it on each other.</p>
<p>Very sad.</p>
<p>when you see shows like Springer (hey someone left the channel on) and women are fighting over the skuzziest guys, its not about the guy, its often about winning, proving something, and Suna’s daughters point aludes to that, often the guys behavior is bad, but the anger is indeed taken out on the “other” girl</p>
<p>There is a reason I am single. The girls out there aren’t worth dating.</p>
<p>I’ve seen more mean, immature, irresponsible, nasty, and bad habit following (cell phones in public, drinking, smoking, premarital sex, etc) girls out there. Finding a GOOD GIRL is about as easy as finding someone who still drives a Model T as their everyday car and has regular, non-classic/antique plates.</p>
<p>They have gone way downhill. Even the girls who were nice in middle school, some of them have gotten nasty. There was one who I really liked as a high school freshman. Now she’s just nasty–hangs out with the bad kids, has smoked, and says the “F” word every other sentence. Another one I liked in middle school–now she’s so nasty. Did I mention what happened to Britney Spears between her first album in 1999 and today?</p>
<p>There are only about a dozen girls I’d consider dating out of the hundreds I know. Not a good percent. Maybe a bit higher than my Model T example, but when you consider the fact that these girls ARE NOT BEING LADYLIKE why would I even bother with them? They’re so crude…heck, I know guys (who aren’t even gay) who are more refined!</p>
<p>For now, I will pour my money into the two things a single guy needs in his life–my car and my dog.</p>
<p>I remember when there would be fights in high school…the boys would usually just sort of circle around each other for a bit before they got to punching, and usually a teacher would come by and stop it before it got to that point, but the girls would scratch and bite and rip chunks of each other’s hair out. Crazy. Most girls I know thought physical violence was too ‘low class’ for them, so they’d get at you in other, more subtle ways instead. Apparently it doesn’t go away as you get older because my mom’s always telling stories about the latest catty thing the girls at the office have done. I don’t know why it is that way.</p>
<p>“There is a reason I am single. The girls out there aren’t worth dating.”</p>
<p>Probably not the reason.</p>
<p>Qwilde, I agree! </p>
<p>Girls have always been mean; but in more subtle and less physical ways than boys. That doesn’t mean it hurts their victims any less, though. I think as it becomes more socially acceptable for girls to be “physical” (in sports and careers for example), we’ll see more female aggression.</p>
<p>Qwilde – LOL</p>
<p>It’s a dangerous place!</p>
<p>Note that the statistics merely stated that there has been a 6.4 percent increase in arrests. That doesn’t necessarily mean girls are getting meaner or even that they are getting in more fights! Where before many “girl fights” might have been dismissed as unimportant and not worth reporting or arresting any one for, recent books like Queen Bees and Wannabes have brought the gravity of girl bullying to light. So it’s very possible that we are merely seeing a surge in the number of incidents that are seriously dealt with.</p>