<p>I know for sure I am depressed or very extremely close to reaching that stage. I have had to be truant to school all 5 times this year because I was never sick in in any of those times I missed school. I could not get enough motivation and I ended up not going to school and even then I barely managed to start my homework that next day at 10pm. I have no motivation, lack of desire, and energy.</p>
<p>I know what I want to do. I just can’t do it. I can’t do it but its not because the task is difficult. I just feel like doing nothing but isolating myself and playing video games till I die at times.</p>
<p>Current issues:</p>
<p>-Dad is in jail(no not for drugs or shooting at somebody or something horrendously bad but he is there).
-I have absolutely no friends(except a few online ones from my gaming but even online I can barely make friends.)
-I loss my actual friends a few years ago and those were the only 3 people I ever really considered friends.
-I have absolutely no motivation in life even if you put a wallet full of $100 bills I would have no motivation.
-I have been missing school days on account I can’t push myself to do the work no matter how easy. I say since Friday I will start it and put effort on it but I don’t.
-I feel a sense of hopelessness to change my life
-I had thoughts of death but NOT by me killing myself(suicide)</p>
<p>I know I am definitely not being lazy because even if I try to do work I just can’t no matter how much I actually want to do it. Something is wrong with me. Are there any mood elevating pills or do they all need doctor subscriptions? In which case I should probably consult a psychiatrist for mental evaluation right?</p>
<p>I am afraid of doctors for some reason so that is why I kind of want to avoid that.</p>