<p>In a private discussion with another CC poster, I believe we are at the position of mutual disagreement in regard to what scholarship dollars are really about. Now I will disclose, that H and I donate generously to a scholarship fund at a University we love. This is not a general donation to the school but a direct donation to the fund. Now with that said, I believe students receiving said funds are being giving “gifts”. Now maybe I see it that way because we are “giving” and the student is “receiving”. Through the above mentioned conversation, it was pointed out that scholarship dollars are basically incentives to enroll and that the student has earned said dollars if they enroll at that specific University. Frankly, I don’t think I would ever be able to see it that way, but I would love hear some other opinions. I guess for me it boils down to generosity of spirit and not entitlement. I guess I am just miffed that hard earned money we donate might be looked upon as dollars a student is down right entitled to, instead of the gift H and I intended it to be. We certainly have other donation options, so as the new year is about to begin, I just wonder if we should change our giving plan. (Maybe the only place this may not hold true is with major recruited athletes and musicians, etc.) For sake of this discussion, I am referring to our wonderful “average/high achieving academically focused kids”.</p>
<p>I guess I am just miffed that hard earned money we donate might be looked upon as dollars a student is down right entitled to, instead of the gift H and I intended it to be.</p>
<p>I assume you are donating dedicated monies for a particular scholarship, merit perhaps?
In that case you may find students who are grateful for the specific scholarship, some may even meet with the donors? This scholarship may have certain requirement that need to be upheld to continue & so the student may be more aware of it, than a need based scholarship which is granted upfront & doesn’t have requirements other than need & being admitted to the college.</p>
<p>Actually the scholarship we donate to has a need based requirement to it. Which is why I feel it is a gift. I understand how frustrating it must be to not be able to fund a bright kid in college, which is the core of our commitment to this fund. But to be told that these kids are entitled to the $$, I think is wrong. If the people who pour money onto the fund, didn’t give, there would be no money at all. And yes, we meet these kids and they seem humbled and gracious, I was just taken back by the thought that some see it as entitlement.</p>
<p>Glad to read that you’ve had the chance to see how grateful the scholarship recipients are. I don’t see need-based aid as an “entitlement” in the way some other folks do. It allows certain schools to offer admission to qualified applicants who couldn’t otherwise attend. Who told you that “these kids are entitled to the $$”? I may be reading your OP incorrectly, but it sounds as if it was another CCer?</p>
<p>Does this university offer merit scholarships, or is all aid at the school need-based? If it’s need-based, then your problem is with the school’s policy, and you might want to donate elsewhere. If the school offers merit aid, perhaps you could transfer your donation to one of those funds instead.</p>
<p>I was just taken back by the thought that some see it as entitlement.
I wouldn’t take posts on CC to be representative of college students in general. ;)</p>
<p>Many on CC think a college admit as some sort of entitlement- a reward for hs performance. IMO, it’s a little different- a kid’s hs performance is an indicator of the chances for success (academically and in terms of engagement) at that school. </p>
<p>I see need-based aid, from a “meet full need” school, as a gift (and one we are sincerely grateful for.) At a school that plays fast and loose with aid (eg, offering more to the kids they want most, not offering equal packages to all with a certain need,) it can be a gift- and an incentive to matriculate. </p>
<p>IMO, same for merit money. Not an entitlement; no one owes it to you. An incentive.</p>
<p>I suppose aid may come to look like an entitlement when you find yourself bargaining for it, and different colleges are competing to see which can offer the best aid to lure desirable students.</p>
<p>I view any scholarship as a gift. Without the merit aid got from her college we would not be able to send our dd to the school she wanted. It was hard enough to pay what we are paying when she could have gone tuition free somewhere else. We do not qualify for any type of aid.</p>
<p>Frazz…yes another cc’er and the scholarship we donate to is a merit and need based combo</p>
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<p>Probably the core of the issue…lol.</p>
<p>I guess I view my daughter’s scholarships (and mine, back in the day) as part gift and part entitlement. It is a blessing/gift in that it was received by the generosity of another person. But she also worked darn hard all through high school and did “earn”/deserve it, as opposed to others who simply expect a hand out because they wanted it, not earned it - so in some ways one can say she deserved it. Kid did all she could to get an opportunity to get an education and career in which she can help others, but needed the help of others to get through college.</p>
<p>How “humble” do you want the recipient to be? I ask because a group at one of my former churches would not donate to the charity that allowed groups or individuals to receive annonymous Christmas gifts (adopt a family kind of thing). They wanted to see the family that received the gifts and receive thanks and praise and probably humbleness. I questioned what the spirit behind the gift was - the joy of helping someone in need give their children a sense of the magic of Christmas and believe in Santa or to satisfy some need within themselves for praise/power/whatever.</p>
<p>Not questioning your motives, but curious. How much gratitude does one need to receive in order to do a good thing?</p>
<p>I can only tell you how felt when our kids were given scholarships. We had planned and saved to send them to college. It was doable, but not without a little pain. Anything they were given either by the school itself, or private scholarships were viewed with great appreciation and gratitude. Nobody had to give us anything, but we were thrilled when they did. </p>
<p>Others, however, may think a little differently on what they think others owe them. You can’t control that so I wouldn’t let it worry you. And now that my kids have graduated we donate to the very generous school that not only helped them through a little financially, but gave them four wonderful years. Hopefully, that money goes to others who will appreciate it, but if not, I hope they learn to.</p>
<p>It’s common for some colleges to put big donors together with kids who benefitted- also to ask kids to send a brief, newsy thank you to the originators of that fund once/year (usually, the names on the fund.) The feedback I’ve seen from kids, after they met a donor, was rather sweet. </p>
<p>For a church- wow, a family that needs a holiday basket, toys or warmwear being asked to step forward to people who probably gave a minimum. Just wow. No humility there.</p>
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<p>I don’t think this is what collegeshopping is asking for but I want to give my $.02.</p>
<p>One year, my girls & I were registered at the food bank at Christmas time- my H & I had been separated for the past year & it was pretty hard to maintain two households. I didn’t expect anything, but the girls were small and I did mention that gloves/hats would be appreciated. We received a package containing mittens/socks/hats and a beautifully illustrated children’s book that brought me to tears at the thought of the kindness of strangers.</p>
<p>But if we had been given the same package in public I would have been crying out of embarrassment & shame that I was in that position.
I haven’t been again & when I give I generally give anonymously, & I feel I honor those donors by doing so.</p>
<p>My d received a combination of “guaranteed” merit (NM, Presidential based on entering GPA and scores), a new merit award offered out of the blue, and a competed-for scholarship. Although she knew going in she would be offered the “guaranteed” awards, she also knows this money comes from somewhere. She has been excited to meet some of the donors of her non-“guaranteed” awards, and to write letters of thanks…for which she and we are very grateful. There has been no expectation of “entitlement” to awards, even the guaranteed ones, because those can disappear at any time based on the U’s funding, etc. For her, to be able to graduate from college debt-free is such a staggering gift that she is hoping to be able to meet and thank any and all donors who made it possible. We joke that we are going to find the grave marker of the named competitive award (a former U president) and lay flowers… It is a big deal, much appreciated, never an entitlement.</p>
<p>It seems that assisting a child to go to college without expectation of gratitude fits the top two levels of tzedakah:</p>
<p>[Levels</a> of Charitable Giving](<a href=“http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/Levels_of_Giving.html]Levels”>Eight Levels of Charitable Giving)</p>
<p>My D gets a music merit scholarship. While I don’t mean to be rude, I never thought it as gift. I think it’s nice that some people donate money to encourage young people lead a fulfilling life. I think it should stop there and not expect to be thanked in person. My D is getting the scholarship for what she does not because she is who she is. She is grateful in the general sense that she is happy to be recognized for her effort. Isn’t that enough? We also donate to the orgainization her scholarship is administered although not into the same fund.</p>
<p>We’re talking about 2 sets of people here – the donors, who may or may not have an expectation of thanks, and student recipients, who I feel should be appreciative/grateful for funding – no one from group 1 (donors) has to give a red cent to see that students (group 2) can benefit from receiving the merit dollars to attend any school. Although my family does not qualify for any need-based aid, if we had, I would expect to feel some sense of gratefulness for the assistance. Would I have d write a letter of thanks to the government? Um…seriously doubtful. But when some individual makes an effort to donate (and I’m not even worrying about their motiviations for tax purposes or whatever) so that another student can have an opportunity…yes, I am grateful, and well aware they didn’t have to donate to the school. If there is a kindness, we appreciate it, formally or not.</p>
<p>I don’t understand your beef. I don’t think that by saying these kids are earning these scholarships by academic achievement that that is the same as saying that these kids feel “entitled”. I’m sure they still think of these scholarships as generous gifts/rewards…not “entitlements” which has a greedy “me me” connotation.</p>
<p>How is this any different from endowing a chair? In that case, you’d be donating money so that the university can pay a highly desirable prof more money than they’d normally be able to pay him/her. Without the money, they wouldn’t be able to get/keep that prof. That doesn’t mean that the prof has an “entitlement” attitude. He’s earned that endowed chair.</p>
<p>It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. One can be grateful that a given college or individual sets up a fund for students who meet certain academic and/or need based guidelines. At that point, there may be a reasonable hope or expectation of qualifying for such a scholarship.</p>