Are there any parents who have kids who want to be spies?

Parent Cafe
1

Hello-

my daughter told me she wanted to become an ‘spy’ of sorts. At first I thought she was joking.
Thank god I didn’t start laughing because she wasn’t.

I wasn’t extremely worried as she’s always been a big dreamer that wanted ‘exciting jobs’ and normally there’d be some hurdle she’d have to jump over(ex. she wanted to be a fighter-pilot but she doesn’t meet height requirements) and when she can’t or she gets bored, she’d move on to other things( Astronaut was next) and she’s a kid. A rather old one to be dreaming about wanting to be something as peculiar as wanting to be a spy, but still, a kid so I assumed it was just one of her phases.

But actually, no. She has kept at it for almost a year now and she seems to have done quite a bit of research on it herself. I am not the type to crush her dreams and it seems like she is serious.

So are there any parents out there with teenagers who want to be a spy? Care to share what happened- if the information is not classified of course.

2

You can look up the recruiting web pages for the CIA clandestine service.

3

@mellybeller does she like to study Foreign languages? Economics? Political science? Foreign affairs? To be an officer overseas you need to interested in the above. NSA, you need math, comp ski and the above. Would she want to join the military? Fun article on getting flared before training: http://www.salon.com/2013/11/03/lies_i_told_to_become_a_spy/ doesn’t sound that fun…

4

Not my kids, but, back in the Cold War days someone I’m close to–a Russian major–was approached by the CIA at college. Became a lawyer instead.

Also during the Cold War, a cousin by marriage (which is ended in divorce) was in the CIA. He approached another relative, who often traveled to Germany and Berlin on business, if he wouldn’t mind keeping his eyes and ears open. Last I heard, he was doing campus recruitment, so maybe he’ll cross paths with your daughter.

Does she want to be an undercover field agent? That’s rare compared to the number of people sitting at desks doing analytical work similar to what goes on at a think tank or university. My peripheral impression is that to be accepted into the company you need post-graduate level technical expertise in something or other–and fluency in a foreign language doesn’t hurt.

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@ucbalumnus She’s been poring over those pages for quite a while now and not just the CIA, basically every clandestine service there is including the mi6 and she’s not even british. With the amount of research/stalking she’s done she could probably shoot an resume straight to the NSA. I’m not particularly worried about finding out the admissions process and all of that as I’m pretty sure I can find that kind of thing out, I’m more worried about the fact her ‘interest’ she has taken to intelligence is borderline obsessive…

@psywar I’d say military wouldn’t be a far reach for her. She’s actually pretty well rounded and has taken a particular interest in has taken an interest in the military as well as political science as she read somewhere that having military experience could give her an advantage.

And guess what? I remember looking over my shoulder and seeing that very article on her computer screen.

6

A HS friend of one of my kids works for the CIA. She isn’t able to talk about her work (not sure my D is even supposed to know she works there). She went to an Ivy and studied a language that is very useful in the world political climate today. She is athletic, bright, and articulate.

7

We think one of our kids would be good doing intelligence analysis as a spook and have encouraged him to keep the career idea on his radar. We wonder if he actually takes such a job whether he will just tell us he got a job as an insurance salesman.

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@latichever Oh wow, that’s quite interesting. To be honest, I REALLY hope my daughter doesn’t encounter a recruitment officer from an intelligence company as from what I can infer, my best guess is she’d spontaneously combust from sheer joy.

The only way to describe her is that she’s an adrenaline junkie so knowing her, she’d go for the undercover agent. However, as you have previously mentioned, she has quite a lot of competition as those openings ARE rare. And oh man, she’s already fluent in 2 languages and closing in on her third but she read on some article that being fluent in Arabic is advantageous and suddenly I’m hearing Arabic music blasting from behind her door?

God, this is reminding me of the brief period she was wanting to do Russian because Astronaut

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@intparent My daughter is pretty driven and she is one of the more rounded students with good EC’s. Thank god we vetoed some of her more…crazy desires.

She wanted to do competitive paragliding.

So is she bright? Sometimes I wonder.

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The FBI recruits at law schools and business schools. There are spy jobs in the military.

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I don’t know what my husband does for a living. He can’t tell me because I don’t have a security clearance.

But I don’t think he’s an actual spy. He’s more the Q type than the James Bond type.

Still, it’s kind of fun to tell people that you don’t know what your spouse does for a living. You get a lot of funny looks.

12

I worry that TV shows and movies glamorize the spy business. Per one radio interview I heard, it’s usually pretty tedious stuff. But maybe it’s the right place for OP’s DD. It can’t hurt to have a goal, even if it may evolve over time.

13

^^ I can’t tell you how many kids I know who want to study forensics because of CSI and other such shows.

Once in court we had a blood spatter witness. He was asked how long he’d been studying blood spatters and I thought he’d say 6 months or maybe a year. EIGHTEEN years. Now, his testimony was interesting, but 18 years of looking at blood drops at crime scenes in Boulder CO where there aren’t many murders? I’d think that would get a little boring after the first 5 or so years.

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Plenty of crimes other than homicides can result in blood drops. E.g. assaults/batteries/fights and theft/vandalism (e.g. suspect wounded by broken glass from a broken window) can result in blood spatters.

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@colorado_mom @twoinanddone When talking to her I reminded her that the shoot outs, ballgowns and super hot CIA dudes aren’t really parallel to the real world. She told me she knows and she’ll probably spend most of her time watching someone for hours on end or something like that. However I am positive that she’s still holding out for the hot CIA guys.

16

Although I never wanted to be a spy, I can understand being a girl who looks for adventure. I also toyed with the idea of becoming a fighter pilot and still dream of becoming an astronaut. As long as she’s pursuing some field that has job opportunities, it shouldn’t be too big of an issue - being in something like forensic science or foreign languages or whatever probably would be applicable to a lot of careers even if she changes her mind about being a spy. How old is your daughter? I gave up the dream of being a fighter pilot when I decided that the military wasn’t a good fit for me, though I still plan to be a pilot, probably just in small civilian airplanes. I haven’t given up the dream of being an astronaut, I still plan to apply eventually, though right now I’m simply majoring in aerospace engineering and planning to work in the aerospace field in some capacity, even if I never go to space. She may never become a spy, but she could end up with a cool job chasing that dream. Or it could happen.

If she’s being influenced by romanticized versions of being a spy - reality will hit eventually. After I thought about applying to the USAFA and becoming a fighter pilot, I began to realize what a small chance of that happening was. I also discovered enough about myself through CAP to know that my personality didn’t have the sort of discipline that a military officer would need. It will work itself out in time, I’m pretty sure.

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This is anecdotal, but I have 3 friends from my grad school, that work at intelligence agencies, they have a total of 5 divorces between them. Not an easy career for your personal life…

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There are many routes to working for the CIA. The vast majority of people who work for the Agency are not what most high school students probably think of as “spies” (clandestine agents). In fact, “spies” make up a very, very small, tiny proportion of CIA employees. Most folks who work for the Agency work in a variety of analytical and supportive roles (technology, analysis, everything from HR management to fiscal budgetary roles), not unlike those you’d find in a large corporation. These “behind the scenes” people are key and critical to protecting our country. We don’t hear about their many accomplishments because of the nature of their work. However they are what enables the “spies” to do their work!

High school students who are interested in a career with the CIA are wise to consider a few things (and keep in mind, this applies to the “behind the scenes” roles, too!).

The first is that there are no “free passes” for youthful indiscretions. Security clearances will and do cover things kids do when they are under age 18 - especially if someone is under age 28 when they are being screened. Of course, general wisdom is that most clearance screenings now “forgive” some “one-off” behaviors that are “typical” for some age groups (“I smoked pot once my freshman year of college four years ago and I’m sorry, it was wrong.”). But it’s important for folks to know this. The general rule is you cannot get a clearance if you have used any sort of drugs within the last year - full stop (even if you’re “just in college”). Anything that could be constructed as a misuse of mind-altering substances (alcohol abuse, other drugs, whatever) = avoid. Also worrisome is especially any sort of behavior that may indicate a problem with authority, following directions, and/or “truthfulness” - shoplifting, plagiarism, failing to file your taxes on time without filing for an extension, etc. - regardless of when this occurs. Something many high school and college students forget is that downloading materials (songs, media, something else, whatever) “illegally” online (without paying) is considered theft and violates US law and can bar someone from getting clearance. Again, it’s a matter of scope/scale/and timeliness to the screening.

Financial security matters. Debt matters. This is really important for high school and college kids considering any career which requires a security clearance. It is generally speaking very difficult for anyone with any significant debt to get a top secret security clearance. Even if a person is otherwise a low-risk for outside influence, financial risk can be a huge red flag. People considering a career where a security clearance is required should aim to have no personal debt (loans for higher education are generally ok, though it depends on the scale).

Who your family and close friends are matters in context. If you have family or close friends who are not U.S. citizens, or if you maintain relationships with family/friends who live abroad, you should just be aware. Again, context matters. This is not necessarily a hindrance. Just something to be aware of and you should know in advance.

Your health matters - your physical health and your mental health. This includes things like ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc. and is all contextual. Again, not something that should discourage a student. But something he or she should be fully aware of going into the process. I think some folks are surprised to learn that a top secret clearance will require disclosure of mental health treatment (did you receive counseling/therapy? when? what for? etc) for some time.

The BEST way for a student interested in a CIA career to get more involved is to intern with the CIA or to get an Agency scholarship. See: https://www.cia.gov/careers/student-opportunities.

A big, big, big thing to highlight to young men interested in a CIA career - or ANY government job - REGISTER FOR THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ON TIME. Again, I’ll repeat…REGISTER FOR THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ON TIME. Again, just to emphasize…REGISTER FOR THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ON TIME. You should register within 30 days of turning 18. REGISTER FOR THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ON TIME. You can do this online now (awesome!) here: https://www.sss.gov/

I don’t have an age-eligible son to know, but are high school guidance counselors talking about the importance of registering with their young men in their schools? I wonder if kids, especially those who are children of immigrants who may not be aware of the requirement, are aware of this. You will likely be denied any federal employment, for LIFE, if you fail to properly register for the Selective Service. There are exceptions – you can now retroactively register up to age 26 (usually), and if you serve in the Armed Forces after failing to register you can get back some eligibility, but otherwise, this will completely, totally knock you out of the running for any CIA (or any government agency) job, permanently.

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@3kids304 Wow! I was just talking to three moms from moms Nov 97 group, all of us have kids turning 18 this month and all three moms I was speaking to where mom’s of boys and they had no idea that their sons had to register for selective service or that it could be done on line. Can I quote you and re-post your post on my mom list? I knew the boys turning 18 had to register to get federal financial aid but had no idea how far reaching not registering on time could be!

20

What is very disturbing is your daughter’s motivation: purely to be a spy. The fact that she’d consider other nations’ services shows that she’s willing to set aside he most vital foundation: patriotism to the USA, in order to obtain her goal. This won’t get her very far. She’ll get vetted out rather quickly. This is a profession, not a movie (as someone else alluded to).