<p>Even though I used to be one of the aspiring overachievers, after a bout of depression, I feel really disconnected from the educated, upper class parents here and the smart kids who get merit scholarships.</p>
<p>I will be returning to a low-ranked state college in the fall after dropping out of an expensive private college last year…I commuted last year to save money, I will be doing it again this year.</p>
<p>Here’s the thing. My parents are both unemployed. I don’t have anybody else to cosign a private loan in case I wanted so much to dorm. I know I will be missing out on a lot. Job connections, opportunities to make friends, dorm parties, independence.</p>
<p>I just REALLY feel lonely, commuting and all.</p>
<p>This is the only blog I have really found about commuters:</p>
<p>Just because class is over doesn’t mean you have to go home. I don’t think the fact that you’re a commuter puts you at a disadvantage from getting jobs or opportunities to make friends. I’m technically “commuting” to campus. I have to drive to my school and it takes thirteen minutes to get there. I don’t think I’ll be disadvantaged at all. You can’t really just wait for something to plop in your lap, though. I know there’s job fairs at my school, so I’d keep an eye out for those by talking to people, professors, and using the school website. Or maybe go to your school’s career center. </p>
<p>Dorm parties? I don’t know what year you’re going in, but I think those get a little old once you hit your junior year. The independence thing can’t be fixed. I spent three years at community college and living with my parents overall has been alright. At times it has been hell. Try getting a job and saving up so maybe you can get a place for the next year. I made plenty of friends and connections as a community college student. </p>
<p>Private loans aren’t worth it (unless you’re going to Harvard or something). You gotta live within your means, but you shouldn’t let it deter you from enjoying your time in college. Besides, you have a car. You can hangout with people and drive places. Join some clubs!</p>
<p>When I get to my college next month, I’m not going to know anyone. Just try not to let it bother you and do the best that you can to reach out to people and make friends. People usually like to talk. You don’t necessarily have to be with someone 24/7 to feel included, I hope. </p>
<p>Instead of studying at home, stay at the library and come home when you’re ready. Instead of leaving class for home, stick around for a while. Instead of eating at home all the time, maybe eat at the cafeteria or off-campus somewhere.</p>
<p>My daughter will be commuting to college for her second year (sophomore). Her college has set up a program where a dorm floor “adopts” commuters, including them in special events or just to hang out.</p>
<p>Don’t most people commute after first year? I understand the difficulty of not living on campus your first year if everyone else is, but after that we’re all in pretty much the same boat. It’s harder for everyone to get together when their friends don’t live right next to them on campus. I know I spent a lot more time on the campus grounds after freshman year, to hang out with people, talk to profs, and study; in fact, I made more friends and talked to more people after freshman year than during, as the dorms were a quick and easy refuge that kept me away from others.</p>
<p>I really don’t mean to be rude (really! :p), but it seems like a situation most students will go through at some point, and therefore one that doesn’t need its own forum. Ways of coping should definitely be discussed, though! :)</p>
<p>friend of mine lives with his parents, but he’s well connected on various activities on campus. He’s president of like 2 clubs and holds a leadership position in a few other organizations. Everywhere we go, he’d see someone he knows from some club.</p>
<p>I never lived in the dorms, but I’m 100% sure you’re not missing anything that’s worthy of participation. feeling trapped living with your parents is a mental block. you’re not really limited to anything. If you want to make friends, talk to people. If you want to go to a party, make friends. If you want job connections, go to those recruiting parties with the free pizza and mountain dew, and dress nice.</p>
<p>@Vladenschlutte: Most students I know at different universities up here live more (typically substantially more) than a few blocks from school. Do that many people in the States live in dorms/student housing (is this how you got the few blocks away?), if not at home? It just seems odd that the OP is fixated on dorming, since dorming is just about a freshman-exclusive thing here, and commuting a fair distance (not necessarily from parents’ home) is the norm after. I never realized there could be a cultural difference there.</p>
<p>At highly prestigious universities (top 70 or so) yes, most students live on or very near campus. At my school I’d estimate about 99-99.5% live within 5 miles of the university. At lower prestige universities most people commute. Living in dorm varies by university, where I go it’s mostly just freshmen also, but after that people live in apartments or houses surrounding the university.</p>
<p>See, my university has very few people commuting from home mostly due to isolation. But because of recent growth only 35% of students live on-campus (but 99% of Freshmen, who have guaranteed housing). Dorms are being built to bring this up to 40%, but that’s still 6,000 students in a town with a non-student population of 10,000 trying to find housing. So a lot of people go a lot further than a few blocks away for apartments, some to the next town over.</p>