Son is graduating in May with a 3.3 GPA from a high rigor MA public high school. He has been accepted to many colleges, but we feel like he might not be quite ready for the total independence of college. Is it too late for him to be considered for a PG year at a prep school? Just starting to feel like one more year of rigor and structure would go a long way in terms of preparation for his whole life. Thoughts?
Maybe, maybe not. Reach out to the schools that you are considering and see what they say and if they have room. PG is a whole different beast. Though, anymore, PG is often used in the athletic context to allow an athlete to get a little bigger and stronger. This isn’t exclusive but it is the trend. If PG doesn’t work out, what about a gap year?
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You are not alone. There are many parents who feel this way about their college-bound kid. What does your son think? The typical boarding school structure and rules for students will be very different than the relative freedom of a freshman in college. That might be OK for some kids, and, for others, it could be suffocating (especially if they’re in close contact with high school peers who are already partying away at college!)
The vast majority of PGs at the top boarding schools are athletic recruits. Many have college offers in hand and are attending a boarding school to get their academic chops in place before diving into college academics and athletics (alternatively, particularly with boys, taking an additional year to grow and mature physically). Some have D3 offers but are holding out for an elusive D1 scholarship. Your student would need to be an impact player on the varsity team to be considered.
Consider in what significant way can your student enhance the boarding school community. Maybe there are arts and music PGs, I don’t know of any. A friend’s kid was a PG at a top boarding school and when meeting a new student at school and mentioning that they were a PG, the response was always “What sport?”.
If you’re not aiming for the typical elite boarding schools most mentioned on here, then there may be more opportunities, and some schools would welcome an additional full pay student! Call them and ask (although as a parent of a student who could soon attend college, it’s probably better if your son calls, not mom!)
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Just curious, if son is not yet ready for the independence of college, and if you didn’t find boarding school to be an appropriate option during high school, then with that GPA, why not have him start at your local 4 yr state college, commuting from home? He would probably be accepted at your nearest UMass, other than Amherst. Or he could start at your nearest MA state college. He could live at home, commute, and you could give him the level of independence that you think is appropriate for him, at probably one sixth the cost, plus he’d be earning college credits and exploring college majors. Even living in the dorms at a nearby state college would be a half the cost of boarding school, and you could have total access to his online academic account, so that you could see whether or not assignments are getting handed in on time, what grades he is getting.
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Yes, that would be an option, but I worry about lack of socialization being a commuter. He is into the program of his choice at UML, but it makes me sad to think of him living at home. Our older kid has thrived at an OOS college and built deep friendships living on campus. All of son24’s friends are going away to school, so I am concerned that he will stagnate and hang out with friends still in high school. This is so hard to figure out!
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If you can afford a PG year, look into gap year programs. A lot of options involving travel, community service, study, etc. There will be many other kids in his position. And he can defer his favorite accepted school, and if he wishes, even submit additional applications.
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You can come up with a list of schools with PG and then see who you’d like to reach out to.
Agree with the others that you have other options besides PG, but no harm in exploring the feasibility of this.
Very hard to know who will have space at this late date, but it’s easiest to ask at places that seem to fit, as they are most likely to accommodate if possible. It helps to be able to articulate why this is the path you’re considering at this point.
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The socialization aspect of a PG needs to be considered. By senior year, most students have already made their friends circle at boarding school. Its hard for PGs to be accepted by the others (who have been there for 3-4 years). The PG’s mostly stick with each other.
My son’s school had PG students. He knew a few of them, but wasn’t very close. The PG students boarded in the same dorm as the seniors.
For college readiness, the PG year is basically a repeat of 12th grade. It also won’t necessarily help with college admissions either.
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I’m assuming that UML is UMass Lowell. They have dorms. Perhaps your best option is for him to just start at the best school he’s gotten into, living on campus, and keep a close eye on him.
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This is what my husband just said. I feel like we are all over the place with ideas! It was a totally different experience with our older kid!
Thanks to everyone for the feedback! This process is so hard and it’s hard to get real answers IRL because everyone is so cagey about college admissions!
I really appreciate the thoughtful responses!
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Many schools PG year is really only for recruited athletes, but you could call around! (And if your kid is a great athlete, this could help).
FWIW I think CH-CH Admissions | Day & Boarding Private School | Boston Area is pretty much rolling admissions, not a big sports school, and offers PG years.
I do question putting kids through admisisons process, 2x, that is a lot and kids mature quickly at this age. (Note, obviously you know your kid best, they sure might not be ready, but may be in 6 months ?)
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I am not sure what program you kid wants, but they do, by all accounts, have a really quite good engineering department… It is higher (though not big difference) than UVM, UNH or UMaine for engineering in us news…(I take rankings with big grain of salt, but I also do not think they are entirely meaningless)
And a pretty high % of kids live on campus (close to 40%), that is about the same as URI. I imagine more Lowell kids do commute home (vs off campus apartments) but still…
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What is it that makes you feel he is not ready for college? He doesn’t do his schoolwork? He is using substances? You’re afraid he won’t go to class? What is the problem you are trying to solve?
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Just general homebodiness 
He is not into substances at all, so I know the Greek life that our older kiddo loves will not be a fit for this one. He just is not super diligent about anything school wise, but generally manages to pull off b’s. I think the idea of him being close by, in a strong program in his desired major, might be the best plan. He can live in the dorm and come home as needed. It’s just a totally different experience, so I am struggling to wrap my head around it. But it might be the best plan. I feel like we are coming down to the wire and just panicking a little 
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For what it’s worth…
We had planned on a PG year and then Covid changed plan and my son reclassed and repeated 11th instead. But I know many boys who did a PG year. All athletes but NOT all recruited or even planning on playing in college.
Here’s my $.02. If you think your son is not ready for college, you are most likely correct. Going to college and struggling and/or having your parents overseeing you like you’re still in HS can be demoralizing. I know many boys who ended up in this situation and dropped out or took time off to regroup. It’s a difficult experience.
My son was substantially more mature and ready at 19 than at 18. Some of that was the 1/2 step of 2 years at a really good fit BS, but the other part was most definitely age.
Since most PGs are athletes, the fitting in socially is less of an issue. However, from my own experience (at least at a larger school), friend groups shifted a lot by senior year - kids matured, grew more confident, outgrew adolescent bodies, etc. With a lot more inter-class friendships, new faces that happened to be PGs were not ignored or excluded at all.
In terms of whether it helps with colleges, that depends a bit on what people are hoping for. If a PG came from a large public HS wo a lot of individualized college counseling, that alone can make a difference. If he had far better grades as a senior and then does well fall of PG year, that matters. If he’s able to take more advanced classes as a PG - that greater rigor can help, not just w admissions but with success in college. And finally more opportunities to participate in community service, arts, theater, clubs, etc. can better round out a college application.
The most important factor is student buy-in. If he doesn’t want to do this or sees it as a punishment rather than an opportunity, it won’t be beneficial.
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My son is a senior at a private school in southern Maine and one of his best friends there is a PG student. You don’t have to live on campus to be a PG student at this school either. My son is a boarding student but the PG student is not and is really loving school as far as I can tell.
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Just food for thought - my sister went out oos for school to play lax and then ended up coming home and living at home and commuting to BU. She just wasn’t ready but did graduate from BU with her year. I think your current plan at UML is a good one. He can always transfer if not the right fit but might be nice for him to be close to home.
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Thank you for this feedback. I need to wrap my head around the fact that college doesn’t look the same for every kid. It’s really nice to hear about kids who have had success with pathways that aren’t the typical live on campus plan. Did she have friends and make connections at school?
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D22 attends Fitchburg. While her grades were good in high school, she just never wanted to apply herself to academics if she wasn’t interested in the subject. Luckily, her high school had a career pathway (education) that she really enjoyed and Fitchburg has a great education program. While I really wanted her to look at other schools (Endicott, Lesley, UMASS) she insisted on only applying to Fitchburg.
While it’s not the experience I pictured for her, she is thriving and says she made the right choice and can’t picture herself anywhere else. The smaller class size and more personal attention are just what she needed. She loves her teachers and her classes. She is so much more invested than she was in high school and has made Dean’s List every semester. The on-campus experience is totally lacking (it’s much better at UML) but she’s still managed to make a lot of friends. She is moving out of the dorms to commute next year (because she thinks the dorms are really gross). When I brought up the social aspect she said that almost all of her friends are commuters anyway. |
This is a kid I always pictured at UDel or UMD, but she did it her way. (And I saved a lot of money). She will be just as employable coming out of Fitchburg as any other school in MA, just as your son will be with UML. Don’t discount the smaller state schools. They have a lot to offer.
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Thank you for this perspective. He is planning on a mechanical engineering major, and UML has a fantastic program. The ROI has never been my concern at UML. Mainly I am concerned about the social aspect…and building long term friendships. I am so glad to hear that your daughter is finding her people at Fitchburg. Hoping for the same for our son, wherever he ends up! 
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