<p>This is something that has bugged me for quite a while. </p>
<p>I serve on a committee with 4 other women and we do a lot of our committee business via email. We also interact with a Board of Directors who serves an oversight function with respect to our duties. The relationship between committee members and between committee and board has been productive, but at times tumultuous. Recently, there was a personal misunderstanding between our chair and the board, and as a result, hard feelings were had by a few. Our chairperson was venting about the situation and began forwarding to me sensitive emails from a board member with whom she was upset, FROM THREE YEARS AGO. In these emails, the board member made some candid remarks about other people, so I’m sure he would not have been happy that they were being shared. I definitely wasn’t happy to be receiving them.</p>
<p>What I realized is, apparently, our chair saves every stinking piece of email she receives…for what purpose I don’t know. In this case, clearly she was trying to hang the board member with his own ‘three year old’ words, so I have to assume there is some sort of malicious reason for saving all this mail. And I can understand creating a paper trail regarding ongoing business, but our committee has system of approved minutes that are a public document for this purpose. Any business conducted via email or in live meetings is documented in these minutes. </p>
<p>I’m a bit taken a back by this. I’ve never made a negative comment about another person on our committee or board via email or any other means, so that’s not what I’m concerned with at all. It is just is a very unusual insight into someone’s personality that I thought I knew well. And, personally, I’m a ‘housecleaner’…meaning I delete virtually everything that is not absolutely essential…so I guess I don’t understand it on any level.</p>
<p>I guess this is just a mini-vent. But it feels like an invasion of privacy…as weird as that sounds. I thought I might discuss this with her, but I really don’t know what I could, or should, say.</p>
<p>First of all, I guess if you say anything to this woman depends on how close your relationship is. If it is strictly committee work and the conversation would just add strain–I’d probably forget it.</p>
<p>However, I agree, it does say something (not sure what) about personality type. I delete most emails once they are taken care of unless they have info I may need again soon. I also go through and delete most other ones if they are more than a couple months old.</p>
<p>Wish I could clean out the basement and attic as easily ;).</p>
<p>I’m a saver extraordinaire! This is for MY purposes only…not to lynch anyone else with <em>rofl</em></p>
<p>For example, I have received a good many truly extraordinary pm’s from lots of CCers, and I have to say that the kind words that they’ve offered have meant SO much to me that I’ve saved virtually every one of those pm’s in Word docs. I’m WAAAAAAAAAAY too embarrassed to tell you HOW MANY of those word docs I now have! </p>
<p>I am a re-reader. And a re-re-reader. And a re-re-re-reader <em>ROFL</em>. I love to look back on some of my old emails and pm’s. </p>
<p>I do not, however, feel that the written word should be abused, as in used as fodder for later attacks. That is because I truly believe in the sanctity of the written word and feel that it conveys a snapshot of a particular time/place/mindset/emotional set. I would never use those out of context against someone. </p>
<p>Though I can see what you’re saying regarding this situation feeling like an “invasion of privacy,” it really isn’t in the most basic sense. The emails were in the possession of the woman who used them inappropriately. Her judgment was poor, I agree. This is the reason why I share differently with different people. The written word can be used in all sorts of ways that it was not intended to be.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry that you had to see this side of your acquaintance come out. It must have been very disconcerting.</p>
<p>~berurah
p.s. I still keep an old portfolio of a HUGE stack of poetry/prose written to me by very talented ex-beaus! <em>lol</em> And what’s worse, I still look at it very occasionally! So, yeah, I’m a major “keeper.” :)</p>
<p>I save all emails besides junk mail. I read it and put it in a folder. I guess if I were running out of space I would delete emails from all those list-hosts (tons of emails about campus events at my school, “breaking news” from CNN and the Boston Globe, etc.), but I don’t have any real reason to delete other emails. It’s not like paper mail in my house that’s taking up room. If my email space isn’t near full, there’s no reason to delete. </p>
<p>I doubt the chair kept the emails for a “malicious reason,” as you say. She may use the emails in an inappropriate way, but I see nothing wrong with saving them. Should people with good memories try to forget conversations they have? I see nothing wrong with not deleting emails, and I’m surprised that you would immediately jump to it as being strange and malicious.</p>
<p>X-Posted with Berurah: I occassionally look for a specific email or browse through old emails with my sister. It’s a nice trip down memory lane. :)</p>
<p>I guess I feel embarrassed for the ‘exposed’ person and a little down on myself for not telling our chair immediately not to send anything like that to me again. Wasn’t wearing my backbone that day I suppose. I think this is probably the main source of my discomfort. I’m a little disappointed in this friend (and now kinda scared of her…lol!), but more disappointed in myself.</p>
<p>But, I’ll admit to be absolutely pathological about deleting. I also drive my husband nuts throwing out perfectly good old stuff. What can I say…my mother is the same way and it’s the family joke. ;)</p>
<p>We use gmail. And as my sons repeatedly tell me, there’s no reason to ever delete anything. I delete junk mail or spam that makes it (rarely) into my inbox. Otherwise I “archive” everything or just plain save. Many people have been known to ask me for an old email or at least information from it. It is fun to go back a year or two and randomly (or by searching) read an old one. I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Not like it takes up space or clutters up my computer.</p>
<p>Not a saver of personal emails or of things in general. I may hold onto an email to which I am expecting a response, but just until then. </p>
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<p>Not only that, but it can be <em>interpreted</em> in all different ways from what the writer intended as well. Without the context of tone of voice, expression on face, emphasis and intonation, one can miss an awful lot of intention and meaning.</p>
<p>Actually, it is probably better practice for a “Board of Directors” to be saving any email related to the business of whatever they are directing. In any case, emails are potentially forever – and there is no such thing as a private email – all it takes is an accidental forwarding and it is out in cyberspace for all to see. </p>
<p>Whether the individual who is disseminating the email is being vindictive is another issue entirely… but the point is, once you send an email to someone, it’s not “private”. (Maybe if the email is sent to someone who has a legal duty of confidentiality – such as an email a patient sends to their psychiatrist – but even with that I wouldn’t consider it “safe”).</p>
<p>The way my email is set up, deleted mail goes into a Deleted Items folder. But the Deleted Items is never emptied, so if I ever wanted to find an old deleted email, I could just look in the Deleted Items folder and find it.</p>
<p>I just checked and it says that I have 14,694 emails in Deleted Items (all of my work email is forwarded to my home, as well.) Perhaps I should figure out how to get rid of them - that seems like a lot of emails!</p>
<p>I probably should have mentioned that in the emails in question, the ‘exposed one’, our board member, made some snarky comments about his fellow board members over a couple of split votes that didn’t go his way. The comments were intended to be a private communication between that Board member and our chairperson…and didn’t contain any official Board of Trustees or committee business. It most definitely was a personal communication. And it was such ‘water under the bridge’, I was surprised she hung on to the emails for all these years. </p>
<p>But it is true; once you hit that send button, I guess all expectation of privacy should be gone. You hope that someone will respect confidentiality regarding sensitive topics, but there is nothing you can do to force them to do so.</p>
<p>I serve on the board of a non profit. I save all the emails relating to it in a folder. I don’t think I would use them for the purpose the OP described but I do save almost all, particularly work related emails. I have a series of outlook folders for each project/category. There have been many times I have needed to retrieve information from them.<br>
The real lesson we all know if to be careful of what you email. I have seen legal situations where email has become fairly crucial evidence. Pause and think before you hit the send button, for sure :)</p>
<p>ldmom, crossposted with you. Hanging on to emails of that kind of more personal stuff and dragging them out later is pretty out of bounds. It certainly tells you something about that person and whether you want to spend time or serve on boards with them…</p>
<p>It is funny that you should present this thread–we have had an ongoing battle with our freshman son about his e-mail. He is somewhat of a saver, yet just does not read e-mail that does not look interesting to him! And, he will not delete it either. We have cautioned him about deleting and keeping space available in his box for e-mail, but he already has saved e-mail from last fall that he says he is afraid to delete. I guess he will learn when his mail box does not have any more space!</p>
<p>I am a selective saver. I keep those that I think I may need to refer back to later. I pretty much NEVER share information from an e-mail I’ve received unless the sender knows or expects that I’m going to share the information, or the content is generic in nature. </p>
<p>Personal experience has proven to me over and over that it is best to be VERY careful about what opinions to express or what information to share in an e-mail to anybody, and especially if it’s within a group context. There is nothing safe or secure about it. Intentional or not, e-mails that may have been meant for “your eyes only” are suddenly forwarded to people who really should not have been privy to the contents. Welcome to the www.</p>
<p>We continually remind the children in this house to be thoughtful of what they post in any form. Once it’s posted or sent, think of it as out there forever and for everyone.</p>
<p>I treat my email like I do my snail mail. If I have no further use for it, it goes in the trash or gets shredded. Now, I do have important emails from 3 or 4 years ago in my folder still–but they aren’t “personal”–they’re business-related boring stuff.</p>
<p>Everything email I read gets automatically downloaded. I rarely need to refer back to it, but every once in a while I’m glad it’s there. I keep meaning to put the older stuff in a different folder because if I need to find something it takes forever to sort through the folder. </p>
<p>I don’t ever say anything in writing that I would be embarrassed about.</p>
This is for MY purposes only…not to lynch anyone else with <em>rofl</em></p>
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I think this is probably the main source of my discomfort. I’m a little disappointed in this friend (and now kinda scared of her…lol!), but more disappointed in myself.</p>
But then, I’ve never been an organized person…<em>sigh</em></p>