My son has a job and I expect him to save his money toward spending cash when he starts college next year. However, he has serious issues in adapting to new situations, so I plan to help him out a little bit in freshman year if need be because I don’t want him to work until he gets his feet under him at college.
I have a close friend who is very wealthy but sent his kids to public schools for philosophical reasons (and supported the public school to the tune of the amount he would have paid in tuition to a private school). He gave his son a $200 per week allowance in high school, while living at home and incurring no expenses. Yes you read that right. Guess who was the one who procured the booze and weed? It’s a miracle he didn’t get arrested for intent to sell at the level he was buying. Not a good idea and everyone told the father, but some people don’t listen. Thank God there was no disaster involved in that choice.
If I recall correctly, we put about $1200 in DS’s savings account at the beginning of the school year and that lasted him the whole time, with leftover. I also would throw in $25 gift cards in his care packages, and sent him toothpaste, deodorant, etc. in those packages. He had a full meal plan with money on that for on campus eateries like Chipotle, but I did have to add money to that a few times. We also buy most of his clothes. We ended up seeing him on campus half a dozen times a year because of his sporting events and in those cases we always go to Target to stock up on essentials, take him to dinner, buy him stuff from the bookstore, etc.
If I added it all up we probably ended up supplementing the initial deposit with another $800-$1000 or so but I didn’t really keep track. So that works out to about $200/month.
Oh, and we pay for all travel back and forth to school. He doesn’t take his car to campus so he flies home and I wouldn’t expect him to pay for that.
DS has never worked during the school year but he does work over the summers. That money is his to keep, and he uses it to pay for gas, car insurance, and going out entertainment when he is at home. He’s also using it to pay for his spring break trip this coming year.
But of course, this all fits into OUR budget and lifestyle, and may be too much or too little for your kid, depending on your particular situation.
My son worked his first semester but was having some academic struggles so he did not work in the spring. I sent him $250/month which is about how much he had made working.
He had a job the last couple of years of high school and we never gave him regular allowance then either. We paid his car insurance instead. :). He night his own gas, mostly. If he’d run Se weak errands for me in a given week I’d give him extra gas money.
We don’t give an allowance. D uses summer earning and a small campus job to pay for books, supplies and entertainment. I will usually throw 20 bucks into a holiday care package or randomly add 15 dollars onto her school card (Which she uses at the campus post office and vending machines.) That’s just a treat.
I actually want my D to make some small financial mistakes with her own money now, and in college - I’d rather she regret some small purchases and mistakes now, rather than learning about this later, in the real world, with bigger purchases, and bigger consequences.
Yikes, @zoosermom, 200 a week for spending money? What did the father think he needed to buy every week with that?! I mean, besides booze and weed…
Anything he wanted and it was nothing good. The kid lived at home and went to a NYC public school, so he was not eating out regularly except with the family.
While we didn’t give a monthly allowance, believe me, we gave both of our kids plenty of extra money while they were in college. Plus we regularly sent gift cards for the grocery stores they used, as well as gift cards to retail places where they could get other things (clothing, manicures, haircuts, etc). No we didn’t expect an accounting of those dollars.
But our kids also never asked for an additional dime of spending money. Like PG, we had one kid who just didn’t spend money regularly. The other kid was a bigger spender, but she also worked a $15 an hour job for 10 hours a week…which gave her ample spending money…since we paid for everything else!
And btw, just a cautionary tale -
My stepdaughter developed a drug habit in college. The big red flag was that she always had at least one p/t job, sometimes 2, sometimes full-time jobs in summer - yet her bank account was ALWAYS in the red, and ALL of her tuition and living expenses were being paid by my husband and her mom. My husband paid her tuition, and her mom paid for rent, and gave her an ample allowance for groceries, utilities and her phone. Almost every month, she was coming up short for her bills, and calling, asking for extra money. Yet - always had a job, if not 2…
(Amazingly enough, though, she somehow managed to do well in school and graduate on time.)
At some point, my husband decided not to give her any more extra money, until we could figure out what was going on, but we knew something was not right.
If it’d been my own D, I would have cut her off altogether and brought her back home… and I suggested that to both parents. Husband agreed, Step-dad agreed, but her mom would not hear of it, Idk why, I think she was in denial… Mom continued to pay for her living expenses and threatened to sue my husband if he stopped paying for stepdaughter’s tuition (it was part of the divorce agreement.) It was a terrible time.
It took stepdaughter living on the streets half the time in Berkley CA, after graduation, for her mom to finally cut her off financially. Only then did stepdaughter start to get her act together and clean up.
She is fine now, but her financial and emotional development has been greatly impaired.
So, if your kid is spending tons of money, yet has NOTHING to show for it, and still is coming up short (and gets defensive and vague when questioned about it)…
Drive to their college and personally confront them to see what’s going on.
When DS was a freshman we gave him $20 a week. He used this for laundry and any extra was his to spend. Last year he was in an on campus apartment and we gave him $80 a week for food,laundry and any extra was his to spend. This year he has a co-op every other semester and is making plenty of money so he now pays for all his own food,laundry,gas,text books and anything else he wants/needs.We pay for housing and the parking pass. I don’t think there is any problem with giving a kid an “allowance” when they are freshman. I would take a look at the price of the washers and dryer per load cost at your campus. It may cost more than you think…
My D was a freshman last year. I rarely gave her any cash, but I would go into her account and add money that could be used at the school store and local businesses, including a Rite Aid, the grocery store in addition to local restaurants. I always made sure there was money in there. I would usually add like $30 every other week.
If your daughter won’t be working during the school year, I think it’s best to provide an allowance, though I personally favor the “shared debit account” method. That’s what my mom did for me–I had access to a debit account she controlled & put money into, which is what I used to buy my books for school, buying flights home, and clothing & food as needed. I had a work/study job, and I used those funds for the day-to-day life stuff–toiletries, coffee, books & media for funsies (ie: not for school), etc., but if your daughter won’t have any income whatsoever, I think providing an allowance is wise. However, I don’t think $25 a week is enough, especially not if your daughter will be attending a school in the city. A single meal eating out could be $20. If she shops for toiletries at CVS/the walking distance store, it could be $6 for a bottle of shampoo. If she needs to take a cab or an Uber home from someone’s house or an off-campus function, it could be $15 in one go, or more. It may be different if she has a car and can bargain shop, but usually with college life the most convenient things to campus come with a major mark-up. (and if she has a car, she needs to pay for gas…) That money won’t cover clothes or books, unless you’re giving her a separate fund for that stuff. If $100 a month is too much, at least hover in the middle and do $50 a week–$200 a month. That should cover most things, but maybe give her a credit card for emergencies?
Although I don’t give allowance to my D, I do give her a credit for emergency situation (and for filling up gas at Costco). Other than that, she uses her own debit card from her own account.
I disagree with you @proudterrier, I believe 25 dollars a week should be more than adequate. My daughter will have a full meal plan, is going to school with a new computer, a fully funded cell phone, books and supplies paid for, plenty of clothes, and a good supply of toiletries and laundry needs. She is not going to be able to eat out often, Uber, etc. But what the heck, this is college, not Club Med.
I agree with @NorthernMom61 especially if the OP’s D is going to Georgia Tech. I think she posted at one point that’s where she was going. Anyway $25 a week should be enough. Most kids are on campus freshman year so I doubt she will be taking a cab in Atlanta to someones house and there is lots to do that doesn’t cost money on campus… Sure more money could be spent but $25 should be enough.
@NorthernMom61 - does your daughter spend more than $25/week now? It is most likely she will spend more while in college because she won’t have you to pay for ice cream, meal, movies, here and there.
My parents sent me to college with $0 spending money. I was under the impression my parents had no extra money, so I worked many hours while in college in order to afford few outings with my friends. It was very painful for me to ask my parents for anything extra. It wasn’t until few years ago, when my dad was still alive, that he said he wished he was more generous with us. He could have afforded to give me some spending money, but didn’t think it was necessary. My grades did suffer because number of hours I worked.
It is why I always made sure my kids had a reasonable allowance so they could enjoy themselves a bit while working hard in school.
Everyone has their own parenting style and economic constraint. For me personally, if someone is prepared to give me money here and there (or replenish my acct when it goes low), I would prefer to know the fixed amount I could expect every week or month, instead of wondering if a gift card would arrive or if my parent would remember to replenish my acct. If gift cards are truly extra, not something a student is depending on it is one thing, but if it is a necessity for a student (for grocery or only source of entertainment) then it could be a lot of stress.
Daughter is extremely frugal, especially with her own money. Together we have front loaded as many expenses as possible, and she has scholarship money for books and fees. She knows that she can’t afford a daily Starbucks habit or too many luxuries on 25 dollars a week and that if she wants to go on a special outing she is going to have to plan ahead to make it happen. We will pay for any special items that she might need that is actually school related.
My husband and I had to pay our own undergrad and grad school by ourselves, took on and paid off a lot of student loan debt, and did without for a long time as a result. We are grateful that our daughter can have a different experience, not have pressure or need to have a job during the school year, and that we can offer her an allowance. Can we afford more? Yes. I feel that 25 bucks a week is a great amount to start with. Why give more if it proves to be enough?
I am a rising college freshman and I think $25 a week is perfectly adequate if books are paid for and I am on a full meal plan. Here’s my breakdown:
My only absolute necessity every single week is Laundry: I have two sets of sheets and the machines at school are huge, so alternate every week between two and three loads (light and color clothes one week, light/dark/sheets and towels the next), $1.50 each wash and dry, so that is $6-9 per week.
Okay, that leaves $16 per week to play with, or about $64 per month.
I need new shampoo, toothpaste, soap, razor, and other hygiene products once a month, which adds up to about $15 a month shopping thriftily (and this stuff is cheaper in bulk purchased every few months; I divided out)
So I am left with $49 a month for anything else I want or need. That is enough for club dues, a nice dinner, a haircut, a movie, OR save up a couple of months’ worth for a trip. Notice the OR. None of these things are necessary for a healthy person to survive and being able to save up money makes it into a treat.
We did not give allowance of certain amount, we just paid the credit card bills and gave cash. That covered all her entertainment and incidental expenses, various trips to various weddings all over country, etc. Our kid is not that frugal. Will see how she is managing on her resident’s salary, but one thing for sure, now she does not have time to shop, barely enough time to sleep (not always though).