Per my D, Tinder does have the rep of easy breezy hook-ups, though that wasn’t her intent (or experience.) Those co-workers said OK Cupid is more for the younger folks and Eharmony and Match more for people who want to find a commitment/marriage partner.
I think if you ask many you’ll get many answers. All it really takes is for the right person to show up where you are looking (as in non-internet life.)
PG, a young person can probably get that question better answered by peers. But my D’s “match” with her bf is uncannily good. They have so many similarities in experiences, family background, education, interests, tolerances- things that aren’t on some pre-list. These are things no one could fake.
My daughter met her boyfriend of two years online; I think it was OK Cupid. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him: smart, handsome, athletic, sweet, hip, responsible, and likes her back. (He did go to a LAC that your cab driver in Hong Kong might not recognize, but that’s not a problem for my daughter. He’s a college classmate of one of her cousins, although they weren’t friends.)
Interestingly, if I had met him IRL, I never would have thought to introduce him to my daughter – he’s way more conventional than previous boys she liked, but it turns out she likes him more than she liked them. They do share a bunch of interests, and it’s scary playing party games with them because they understand each other extremely well.
A couple of years ago, before this relationship took hold, I asked her whether she ever met people she might want to date. (She wasn’t meeting them at work or graduate school.) She essentially said that with online services, in New York City, in your mid-20s to early 30s, you could basically choose to have whatever type of social life you wanted or had time for.
OP here. Okay, I admit it. Ods was so lonely and alone, difficult to meet new people. His dad and I encouraged him to sign up for one of the online sites. His retort was “that’s for losers”. Oh! We parents and both his brothers came down on that immediately. It is NOT for losers. Many, many people have met their SO online. I adore the girl he met. They hit it off immediately. I’m 99.99% positive they are headed to the altar.
Well, a professor friend used the NYT and immediately met a great man. Otoh, my 60 something widowed friend tried an online site on a lark. I don’t know how she set up her profile; maybe it’s the critical element and hers isn’t interesting-?? But the profiles she’s matched to are creepy old guys.
I already said my dau had success, so maybe it is in your profile? Anyone know?
I used to belong to a advice site around eharmony and one of the pieces of advice re creepy guys is to have your profile be 100% wholesome. Even if you are not. By that I mean do not post provocative pics, or double entendres (SP?), or how you are looking to “have fun” “nothing serious” and be careful on those sites who ask you/match you on lots of questions regarding sex. Basically the more you emphasize sex/hotness the more you’ll get of someone seeking the same. If you are looking for a long term serious partner SAY it. Don’t shy away from it.
My husband says before eharmony he used a “dating funnel” that started with looks and then tried unsuccessfully to find someone who also was all the other great qualities for a wife. At eharmony he was matched with people by the qualities first and then he could sort by who was attractive to him.