are you for or against online matchmaking?

Parent Cafe
41

@Hunt I think I know who you mean and I have read about their wedding. So lovely.

@mom2collegekids Most sites do add on a year every year to a member’s age that they are on the site, but they can sign up at the start and lie about their age. I think many do but I think it is wrong and it is not something you can hide for long (though many don’t want to hide it permanently but use that as a strategy to “hook” someone…bait/switch). One thing in this day and age is that it is pretty easy to google around and find out someone’s age, job, marital status, address, and things of that sort. That is another reason I think it is ridiculous for someone to lie about it on a dating site because it is very easy to verify it on the internet.

42

I know someone who met her husband through eharmony. She hired a private investigator to get the goods on the guy soon after they started dating and she realized it could get serious. When she finally admitted it to him, he confessed he had done the same thing with her!

43

A friend of mine used to go on something called “plenty of fish” (I use to call it “kettle of fish” and “bucket of bait”). She used to ask me to do some on line research about some of the guys she met and went out with. One had apparently been found guilty of embezzling from his previous company and moved here from another state to get away from that. But… gee he started another of the same business (same industry). She did met someone nice and has been with him for several years. There is one BIG negative in my book to their relationship, but its their life, not mine.

44

OK, @jym626, no fair mentioning the BIG negative and then leaving us all hanging… B-)

45

I tell my kids they will never again be around so many suitable partners as they are in college. I met my husband at work, however my company seems to be women in the office and men in the warehouse. The men I hire tend to be married.

I’m by no means against online dating but in the ideal scenario I’d want meet someone organically in person. There are too many weirdos and hook up expectations for me to feel comfortable. I say that as an old married woman who would be undateable now.

46

Sigh. “Hook up” numbers have not changed in decades. In fact, young people actually have LESS partners now than they did a generation ago.

Can we please drop that trope? It’s old, tired, and repeatedly disproved.

47

The fact that tinder exists tells me hook ups still happen.

48

Of course they happen.
But they’re not new and it hasn’t radically changed relationships and sexual habits like the media wants you to believe (and people desperately cling to).

49

I don’t think I said it was new. Hook ups even occurred back in my single days. However from what I gather from the commercials some focus on deep relationships, some casual and some are for hook ups. You seem a bit defensive about this issue. I really don’t care how people meet, matchmaking is almost the world’s oldest profession, this is just a modern twist.

50

And many men my age cannot perform in old fashion way sexuality. .theynfeel a lot of stress on the meet ups or online sites.

51

This is true for some middle age men. Ironically, there are many middle age men on dating sites seeking women much younger than themselves.

52

I’ve actually read a few articles that say its a growing - bad choice of words :wink: - problem among younger men as well and one of the supposed causes of sexual dysfunction is online porn.

53

When D1 came back from a post-grad year in another country, she dated on Tinder for a while, but skipped the guys who said outright they were in it for the hook-ups. Met some very nice guys- grad students, young professionals. Ironically, she had some very real old fashioned dates, out to a nice dinner sorts of things. She’s still in occasional contact with one. But within a few weeks, she got tired of the scuzzy sorts who “liked” her (or whatever it was.) Switched to OK Cupid and met her now bf almost immediately. Nice guy, good relationship, a year-plus now. (Same guy who was living in my house for a while.)

I was working in one of the college offices that deals with kids constantly and the topic of online dating came up- I was surprised how many of the adults had met their partners online.

54

I must live under a rock. I never heard of Tinder until this thread.

55

One of the most interesting parts about being an HIV counselor is that I learn about all sorts of apps that I will never need or use. Like Bristlr (Tinder for people with beards/people who like people with beards).
My job is definitely never boring :slight_smile:

56

D says Tinder is the best app to check the “sketchiness” index of a given city. :wink: She showed me profile photos of some guys from where she goes to grad school… Uhhhmmm. We had a good laugh.

57

So out of curiosity, what are the reps of the various services? If one were a young twenty something wishing to meet people of quality, where should he or she go? ( talking only online of course - yes, I get they should join clubs and churches and yada yada)

58

I don’t know about now, but 5 or so years ago, eharmony had the best reputation in my area. Single friends who were looking for like minded professionals had the most success there. These friends were in their 30s.

I don’t know if this is still true. I can see it varying depending on geographical area.

59

doschicos,
Her bf (they now live together) has been separated from his wife for years. And years. But they have never divorced. Sorry, I am not OK with that.

60

I can see your point.

So much has changed over the years in terms of what’s acceptable and what’s not in personal relationships. But adultery is a special case.