<p>No actually this is another person that I recently met. It definitely bugs me when people act so ugly and boastful as though they expect life to always be as great as it is today for them…Does everyone really have their share of heartache? Seems to me that some people have much more hardships than others who appear to coast through with ease.</p>
<p>I still wish people got back what they put out: those who are mean have bad stuff happen to them and those who are kind have good stuff come their way. But it kinda seems the opposite (good people get more bad stuff than mean ones)</p>
<p>You keep repeating a “glass half empty” perspective. Do you see that? It’s not one random thread. Posters keep advising you to focus on something other than the mean girls who “seem” so popular and happy. We could all fill pages with tales of awful people who bugged us. Some got their comeuppance- and some didn’t. You have a choice: keep meeting these people and allowing yourself to be dragged down by their actions- or get on with life and do the best you can.</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but life, for most of us, includes harder challenges than walking away from (physically and emotionally) the people we don’t like. We harrumph and move on.</p>
<p>Let’s say for a moment that you want what they have. Make a list of the things they have which you wished you had too. Maybe “ease with themselves,” or “easy way with making friends,” or whatnot. Life is not a zero sum game. Everyone can actually have everything anyone else has, and if you are “noticing” it all the time, perhaps this is what you want for yourself.</p>
<p>Get a life coach. They aren’t expensive, and different than a therapist. Make some goals around these things you want. Learn to think positively about what you want. When you see it in someone else, admire it internally, think, “I want to be like that.” Or, “id’ like to have that for myself.”</p>
<p>You’d be surprised how much you can change your life when you just change your perspective. It’s all just an adventure. Maybe this is your next mountain to climb. Who knows?</p>
<p>OP, I am old enough to be able to proclaim as “wise” a lot of the great advice you have already gotten on this thread. However, despite my age, this sort of stuff bothers me a lot too. It’s sometimes mysterious why certain girls are really popular, despite being annoying, boastful, mean or narcissistic. Meanwhile, you might think you are none of those things, yet seem to have fewer friends and get less afffirmation. So then you wonder if you’re wrong about yourself, and worry about what it is that others see in you that they don’t like. </p>
<p>Are you well-loved and well-accepted by your parents? I wasn’t, and I think that insecurity partly explains this weakness. Still, whatever the reason, a reason is not an excuse. You simply have to do what poetgrl is suggesting. Think of what it is that others have that you most want, and work toward that goal. You may fail, but you will at least move out of self-absorption and selfy-pity.</p>
<p>Now if only I could follow the same advice…</p>
<p>Ask her if she’s a Libertarian and follower of Ayn Rand? But, what the heck—she may be just a garden variety ass, and not even know enough to address the question.</p>
<p>OP, I assume you are in the US and are going to live in the US after graduation. It’s a cliche, and perhaps less true of late, but America really is The Land of Opportunity. At my law firm there are people whose parents who you might have heard of and people who came from very limited means. In the business world, there are very successful people whose very wealthy parents financed their first ventures and there are very successful people who grew up in public housing. There are adults whose parents were fabulously rich who are very productive members of society and there are adults whose parents were fabulously rich who are trust fund babies who never do anything with their lives. </p>
<p>As someone else said, adult life is a great equalizer. Look at Steve Jobs, may he rest in peace…tremendous wealth and fame and influence could not save his life and I bet his family would have been willing to give it all up in exchange for his life.</p>
<p>When dealing with people who constantly brag (about themselves, or children), I try to simply acknowledge their feelings, with a comment like, “how nice for you,” “you must be so proud of your child for …” “that’s terrific,” “how nice it is to have so much money or a boat or whatever.” And I never offer any information about myself to be used as a comparison. It often cuts them off from further boasting. </p>
<p>It is a strategy I learned when my kids were young and would get upset or frustrated. You can’t reason with young kids or tell them not to be feeling the way they feel – you just acknowledge how they feel (without making a judgment) and repeat back to them what they said happened. </p>
<p>There is a reason these people keep boasting, and I agree with the others that it usually is because they are insecure in some way or need attention. Secure and kind people who have a lot of material things or money just don’t talk about what they have.</p>