<p>My two college student kids are active on Facebook. They have been since high school. Though I had the usual worries about safety, I felt mostly fine about the way they were communicating with friends and expanding their networks with this tool. </p>
<p>Now, my husband has decided to join. He’s got his profile and has the kids as his friends. He checks their pages frequently and reports to me on their status. We learn more about how things are going at school than through more traditional forms of communication for us parents, like the phone or email.</p>
<p>But, something about this bothers me. I’m not sure it’s good for us to see every post. Here’s an example: my daughter’s status was “Maureen’s foundation has been shaken” the other day. A little explanation was posted when my husband saw it, but not enough to make that statement not a bit worrisome. Turns out that she didn’t make the fall production in her music program. Normal occurance, she got over it.</p>
<p>Is it good for us to be able to see daily reports on how they’re doing? Or, is the downside of “seeing the sausage being made” worth the advantage of knowing more about how they’re doing, and possibly catching something important? I’m leaning toward it not being a good thing. Of course, I don’t have to be part of it, but with more and more people joining, I hear about things anyway.</p>
<p>I joined Facebook to play Scrabble with my nieces. Now I am friends with all kinds of people, including my sister, work colleagues, neighbors, long-lost friends, my 17-year old daughter, and even some of her friends! Now that I see what is going on, I have both enthusiasm and reservations. I see some stuff that I really would rather not know about some of these people, but maybe I should know it. The ironic part is- my daughter’s Facebook is probably the most normal (and her friends). Who knew my friends were weirder than hers? </p>
<p>I think people are who they are, in person or on Facebook, although it’s easier to let out some secrets through Cyberspace, intentionally or not. I haven’t learned anything about my daughter that I didn’t already know, except she’s actually more involved in the election than she lets on in person.</p>
<p>I’m a member but only because someone asked to be my friend. I joined because he works for one of the presidential candidates’ national campaign and I wanted to keep up with what’s going on and he’s stopped blogging about it elsewhere. Then 2 other people I know found me so now I have 3 friends. (One D thinks that is pitiful!) I haven’t posted anything except my alma maters. No picture or further information.</p>
<p>I don’t want to know what any of my kids are up to on a daily basis and have not asked to friend them. I think they deserve their privacy. They can exchange whatever they want in their social circles and I’m happy just to know whatever they want to share with me.</p>
<p>It’s weird that somehow Facebook must have access to my email address book as I’m often asked if I want to friend people who did not attend my schools but are personal friends now. I know as much about them as I want to and I don’t care what mood they may be in or what they’re doing at the moment.</p>
<p>My daughter says I am not allowed to ask about what is in her “status” field. She doesn’t want to feel that if she says she is tired or bummed or homesick or angry that I will ask her what happened. And I comply. I love seeing status messages that show my daughter or son feeling happy or optimistic.</p>
<p>I love the photos of friends and fun times on my daughter’s, son’s, nieces’ and nephews’ pages. And my youngest sister in law puts up pictures of our baby nephew - what a cutie - it is fun to see updates.</p>
<p>My parents are not on Facebook, and I probably would not friend them if they were. If I did, I would set a very limited profile (so I could set my Facebook so that my parents can’t see my wall, status, photos, etc.). I am friends with other members of my family, including adults. Almost all adults I am friends with are set to limited profile. I wouldn’t want my parents (or some other adults) seeing my conversations with my friends on my wall, reading my status updates, trying to interpret inside jokes, etc.</p>
<p>I love Facebook. My daughter and her friends have “friended” me. My son and his friends will not. I have enjoyed getting back in touch with some old friends and classmates (although the presence of my age group on Facebook is still limited) and former coaches/teachers of my kids. I think Facebook is awesome. I like seeing the pictures that people post (well, most of them…)
I do think it can be somewhat like “seeing the sausage being made” in the case of some kids. I tend to want full information, but it is probably better that I not have it!</p>
<p>I’m not on Facebook. I spend too much time on CC and another forum as it is! I do peek when I can at my 16-year-old S’s page, but he hardly uses it (“that’s for girls, mom”). D, a college junior, uses hers a lot, but is well aware that she shouldn’t put anything on there she might regret later. As far as I’m concerned, at 20 she’s an adult, and her interactions with her friends are her own business. That said, she talks to me a lot about what’s going on in her life, so I don’t feel I’m in the dark.</p>
<p>I’m a mom who’s in graduate school and I have kids in college, high school, and middle school. </p>
<p>I’m not on Facebook nor do I have a blog on blogspot. Many of my friends have both. </p>
<p>I LOVE reading my friends’ blogs but fear that I wouldn’t have anything interesting to say if I started one. And would I spend more time writing about my life instead of living it?</p>
<p>I’ve mentioned Facebook to my kids and only S 16 said he would friend me.</p>
<p>I joined FB awhile back at the urging of my ds who saw a lot of my friends on there. It has been a fantastic way to keep up with what is going on in my friends lives without spending all my time on the phone.</p>
<p>My kids don’t seem to mind I’m on there: they’ve friended me (I haven’t asked) and they have their profiles open to me. Then again, we’ve got really good relationships anyway.</p>
This seems silly. If she doesn’t want people to focus on her ‘status’ then why would she post it there for all to see? </p>
<p>I’m not on facebook and don’t plan to be. I think many of the people who post so much personal info on the internet will regret it at some point (and FB has been hacked so making it ‘private’ isn’t adequate security). If people only post what they wouldn’t mind their parents, grandparents, present and future kids, future employers, past and potential GF/BF etc. to see, then I can see some utility in it.</p>
<p>I am on Facebook, as are 4 of my 5 brothers and sisters. I talked about with my kids M&S beforehand, and go the ok to friend them. Occasional language is about as radical as things get on their pages.</p>
<p>ucsd etc. dad- I think you missed the point. The poster’s daughter doesn’t want her PARENT to ask her about her status. The status is to let her friends know what is going on- i.e. that she is stressed, has flunked a test, hates her teacher etc. She doesn’t feel like explaining it all to the concerned parent. I can understand that.
You sound like you have an unwillingness to recognize the GOOD things about this social network. You were probably resistant to cellphones, too! :)<br>
You don’t have to post any sensitive information and, for the most part, the privacy settings DO work. Who cares if your network of friends knows it’s your birthday or that you have joined the “Philadelphia Eagles” page? I think it’s all a lot of fun.</p>
<p>I am on Facebook as are an increasing number of my “adult” friends. And I am friends with many of my kids’ friends, though I only do that when they invite me to do so. I love how easy keeping in touch over long distances is with it.</p>
<p>Add me to the list. I created one many months ago because I thought my daughter’s a cappella group had a facebook account. Ends up they had a myspace account. So I kept it, and really never used it until this summer a few more of my friends began to ask me to friend them. So I did.</p>
<p>Some of my friends are friends with their kids’ friends. When I created my facebook, I told myself I absolutely would never ask any of my kids’ friends to friend me; but if any of them ask me to be their friend, I would. To date, I have three friends that are ‘their’ friends. I asked D2 if she would friend me and put me on a very limited profile (just so I could see pictures); she responded by saying, she would friend me and allow me full access, as long as I didn’t stalk her. I, of course, as a parent, had to ask her what her definition of stalking was! So I friended her, but will not post on her wall, etc. D1 told me no, no access at all, and I’m fine with that. </p>
<p>I still haven’t gotten into a regular habit of checking facebook; I probably check in a couple of times a week and feel like keeping up with all my friends walls is almost impossible when you don’t go on that often.</p>
<p>I got a notification today that a guy I know now has a Facebook page and I have to join in order to view it. This is the first invitation I’ve gotten and I’m not even sure what the polite thing to do is. My youngest child often leaves his facebook page open on my laptop (and is OK with my peeking) and it seems to me that there is way more trivia posted than I want or need to know about people. The weird thing about facebook is when my kids have found things out about siblings that they hadn’t told us (i.e. breakups and or being in relationships). There is something disconcerting about discovering a close relative has a girlfriend via the Internet.</p>
MOWC:
The quote is from my post where I state there can be some utility to FB and MySp type sites. While it’s possible to use these sites without unduly posting personal info one might regret later you know as well as I do that many many of the posters post things they may end up regretting.</p>
<p>The previous quote I bothered to indicate was regarding someone who wants ‘some’ group of people to see her ‘status’ yet not her parents. I’m just saying that if it’s some info she wants to restrict she should consider not posting it in a quasi-public location.</p>
<p>And people should ‘not’ consider these sites safe regarding their personal info. The data is public by nature and these sites have been hacked many times. People may not like the fact but it is a fact…</p>
<p>Everyone in our family has facebook accounts. I used to use it to play Scrabulous with my sister-in-law. I have two friends (sil and dh). Dh uses his page to put up photos of lab outings. He got a bit of a scare last weekend when one of his grad students had something that popped up that was a link on how to commit suicide. He had someone check up on the student who said it was just a joke. Dh was really uncomfortable about the whole business. My oldest has a facebook and by all accounts hardly uses it, he’s got a fair number of friends. My youngest uses it a quite a bit, though not to post diary-like comments. His group of friends seem to arrange their get-togethers that way. Neither of our kids want to be friends with their parents.</p>
<p>I do not have a Facebook…my two college girls do, but I respect their privacy and that they do not want me or other parents looking without them initiating it. They do, from time to ime show me things there.
My step-daughter , who is 16 has one and is on their friend lists, but she only goes on with her mother , who posts the picures for her daughter ( who has trouble with doing these things ) My kids think it is " weird and creepy " that her mother is looking at and posting pictures of THEM…when my now college freshman woke up the morning after the prom, she saw picures of herself and her prom court status, on her step-sister’s Facebook, who doesn’t attend her school. She was a little freaked out and offended that she didn’t have the chance to post her own pics of that night before her sep-sister’s mother did</p>
<p>My D created my facebook shortly before she left for college, saying it would be a great way for us to stay in touch. I love it. She’s the type of facebook user who frequently updates her status. She also has taken on the role as photographer for the clubs she has joined, so posts hundreds of pictures revealing her new friends and activities at college. I have to admit that I click on to her site daily to see what the current “mood” is. I think the kids call this “facebook stalking”. Anyway, it gives me peace of mind. I know that she is alive and well and *usually thriving. I have learned not to comment on the status thing. We talk on the phone daily and she will tell me what she wants me to know :).</p>