Perhaps one ought to ask if you are the type that your housekeeper loves…
I just read The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, and one of the most striking and disturbing scenes in the book takes place at a house where one of the characters is the housekeeper. Makes it really hard to take this question seriously.
Our housekeeper moved away…and I cried. She was so a member of our family. And we included her in family events like graduations. We miss her.
@thumper1, no intention to be rude, but do you think she misses you as much? I am genuinely curious about these relationships. I’ve never had a maid/housekeeper. My sister always has, but frankly I could never work for her! She is just so difficult, it is hard enough when I help her with big parties, as I have done periodically over the years, and I am her sister, not a paid employee.
The one time I hired a maid service was when I was moving out of our last house in CT. They arrived ahead of schedule, and I drove up just as they were leaving. They had done an inadequate job–not, for example, vacuuming or sweeping inside the closets–and since we had moved out and were in a hotel for a few days I had nothing but a roll of paper towels to clean with. I spent an hour or so cleaning with damp paper towels, and I later called the owner of the service and complained. (This was before cell phones, so I couldn’t call while they were still there.) He never sent me a bill.
I’ve known/know a variety of people who clean houses as a sideline or as their main living, ranging from well-educated musicians to really blue-collar folks. All of them work for themselves, not for services.
Our housekeeper is a nice person and all, but she’s not much of a housekeeper. Kinda good at cleaning bathrooms, floors, and windows, but terrible at organizing /dusting/ putting away laundry. Sort of slow and lazy. Kitchen is never done. H should probably fire her, but he’s grown accustomed to her after 30 years.
(Yeah, it’s me. I suck. But I’m too embarrassed to hire someone. )
Like eyemamom, my cleaning woman speaks very little English. She’s very sweet though. I inherited her when my previous cleaning woman decided to get another job, and started bringing this woman along. The former woman drove me crazy as she was always talking and asking for advice.
I always paid my nannies and housekeepers fairly, on time and treated them with respect. At the same time, I was not best friends with them, I didn’t invite them to family affairs (outside of kids’ meaningful birthdays) or got too involved with their personal issues. In turn, when I had to reprimand or praise for their work it wasn’t personal.
Here is an example…I hired a driver and a private tour guide for 7 days for my family vacation. They were with us whenever we were awake. For the first few meals, my sister thought it was the right thing to do to invite the driver and the tour guide to eat with us. I told her no because they may prefer to have some personal time even if it meant eating not as fancy food. My sister told me I was treating them like they were second class citizens. I told her I was respecting their private time and I was not making them to be my friends because I was paying for their time.
I think just because people come into your house (ver private) to do work, it doesn’t mean they need to be your friends. I had a fully time housekeeper and a driver when I worked overseas. I treated them like professionals, but I didn’t require them to be part of the family. Four years later, we are still FB friends. Few times when D2 was back for visits they have looked after her.
Our housekeeper has been with our family for 35 years. She started with my wife’s family when my wife was 15. When my daughter was 3 mos old she came to be our nanny. Now she is more of a housekeeper than nanny. But along the way she has been to First Communions, birthday parties, funerals, kids’ plays, etc… So yes, I love our housekeeper.
No housekeeper here. The money I save goes into the college fund!
As said previously, we use a maid service, not an individual with whom we are close. They come every other week and do a very thorough job. It doesn’t get all that dirty because we are pretty neat to begin with, and with every other week service, the main issues are the kitchen, baths, and floors. Dusting is important.
I would give up a whole lot of things before I’d give up the cleaning service.
“Kinda good at cleaning bathrooms, floors, and windows, but terrible at organizing /dusting/ putting away laundry”
I’m kind of thinking a lot of folks here are talking about full-time housekeepers/maids? Because that seems like a lot of stuff to do - the organizing/putting away laundry part unless they come in frequently.
I have someone who comes every other week - cleans kitchen and bathrooms, vacuums, dusts, baseboards, cleans the hardwood and tile floors, that kind of stuff but she doesn’t do laundry and she doesn’t pick up the house. I tidy up stuff so she can clean surfaces.
She’s been working for us for 15 years and I’ve recommended her many times. She’s reliable, I trust here when she’s not here. She cleans decently - sometimes a little better than other times but never badly. We have a few minutes of chit chat, I leave her pay on the counter and I vacate the premises. I don’t like to be around when she does her cleaning. I guess it makes me feel uncomfortable watching someone else clean my stuff. Nice woman, trustworthy but we don’t really have any thing in common. And we’ve learned to avoid any discussion of politics. 
Maybe my post was misunderstood- -I AM the full-time housekeeper/ homemaker/SAHM/love slave, etc. 
Yeah, it is a lot to do, but I live here 24/7.
Haha. DEFINITELY full-time! Sorry I missed the context.
She is not my type ;
Kidding aside, I’d hire a cleaner in a heartbeat if I could. Mr R tries but he kind of sucks at it. I’m usually too tired or sore (I’m also worse than Mr R at cleaning). Right now, my roommate who is living here basically rent free cleans (we don’t ask him to- it’s just who he is because he feels guilty for not being able to help financially).
I think I’d have a hard time not forming a relationship with her/him. It’s just who I am- if someone is in my house, I feel like I need to engage them. Especially since I’m usually home and it feels awkward to ignore people… and my house isn’t big enough to not be in the same general space (especially since it’s an open floor plan).
Yea well even though she is like another grandmother to the kids our housekeeper does drive us crazy sometimes. If we are home she talks to us continuously in Spanish. She knows I don’t speak Spanish, but she talks to me anyway. My wife does know Spanish, and so often hides in her room to avoid endless conversations. But a small price to pay.
I so value my home, quiet, and privacy, that I could just not deal with the situation described above. For me, it would be far too a huge price to pay. I would rather clean it myself than have even a very nice person talking to me all day long. No, just no.
I don’t even like it when the cleaning crew is in my house for just a couple of hours.
But it works for your family, so that’s all that matters for you.
My mom had a house cleaner who came seceral times a week for many years. (My strongest memory is of her ironing for hours on end.) As a wee one, I got close to her and called her the word for “grandma” in her native language. She stayed overnight a few times when my parents had to go out of town, and on one memorable occasion I stayed at her apartment and went to church with her and her husband the next morning–it was Sunday mass at a Catholic church back when all was in Latin, and quite an experience for a little Jewish girl who had never been in any church before!
I’ve had maybe four different once-a-week house cleaners over the years, most of whom barely spoke any English I paid them and treated them well, they cleaned and were polite. No room or desire for “love” in the relationship. For most of the time I was at work while they were in the house and only saw them to say hello in the morning, give any special instructions, and hand over their pay. (It was an entirely different story with my nannies, who lived with us for years at a time and had my childrens’ lives in their hands, as opposed to my mop and vacuum cleaner.) I suppose things might have been different if a housekeeper worked for me full-time, but that’s not my lifestyle.
My mom went from being a housecleaner ( summer job at hotel ) to having one when my step-dad was ill.
The primary source of mess in my home is from dog hair, which needs to be handled on a daily basis, so I am my own housekeeper.
I just don’t have it in me to have another person clean my home, although we have a landscaper…It isn’t someone I know on a personal level
I straighten up my house daily. I clean my kitchen daily. I sweep or vacuum if something spills. But the deep cleaning involved with bathtubs, showers, toilets, extensive hardwood and tile floors, oven, stove top, wood shutters, ceiling fans, etc. is not something I want to be involved with anymore. Most of those need attention after two weeks, so I enthusiastically welcome the Merry Maids. Not giving them up if I have anything to say about it.
I am pleasant with them, and they are polite in return. They get a Christmas bonus. That’s about as far as we take it.
I do like my housekeeper. She is smart, three sons (one is finishing up at MIT, one who is at CALstate and the other is in the army. She brought her green card and tax returns with her the first day of work. I don’t like being here when she is working. So, I do errands. Works for both of us.