<p>I just lost out on any kind of future with the love of my life. My mistake-did something really stupid and I think I’ve lost any chance of being with “the one”. So, I have to ask—are you with the “love of your life” or did you miss that opportunity too?</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear that. I’m still with the love of my life. We just celebrated another wedding anniversary.</p>
<p>I have been with the love of my life for almost 30 years. We dated on & off at first, and I confess that I did some stupid stuff that jeopardized our relationship. I think it was part of growing up. I actually have a sympathy card stashed in my “box of stuff” in the basement … my best friend gave it to me when H & I broke up at one point early in the relationship. She knew that we were meant to be together, even if I did not (yet). I remained friends with now-H, and things eventually worked out for us. We will be married 25 years in May. </p>
<p>For what it’s worth, life is not always perfect even when you are with the “love of your life.” There are ups & downs, good & bad. Relationships take work. Even if you aren’t able to hold onto the person you believe is your life-love, please realize that you can learn something from what happened. Eventually, the pain will go away & you will be open to new relationships (and will be able to avoid at least one mistake).</p>
<p>Of the billions of people on this earth, I am convinced there is more than one for each of us. The trick is to find them … but don’t keep looking while you already have one!! :)</p>
<p>Kelsmom, excellent answer. I’ve been married more than 20 years to my love, and it’s not always been easy. Today’s young people don’t seem to understand that it really isn’t sunshine and roses ALL the time. It can’t be. Nothing is. There will be those ups and downs, and even the times where you are more friends than lovers. My mom told me (about 30 some odd years ago, and she’s been married for 56 yrs) that marriage was almost never equal. Sometimes you gave/did more than your spouse and the effort was skewed 70% to 30%, sometimes it was the other way around and more like 90% to 10%. But overall it evened out. I didn’t get that at all until I got married and we hit our first rough patch.</p>
<p>I, too, am convinced that there is more than one right person for each of us, but when you find one and settle down, you have just got to stop looking for any others. Many couples end in divorce these days b/c they didn’t turn off the search and they weren’t willing to work at the relationship (just one of many other possible reasons, of course).</p>
<p>Yes I am. 28 years last week. We had dumb luck and found each other when we were kids and somehow were wise enough to recognize what we had. I hope my kids are so lucky.</p>
<p>Speakeasy, never say never! Hang in there…you never know!</p>
<p>I’ve been in several long term serious love relationships, including two marriages (still in the second.) I have had much to learn and enjoy in each one. I can’t say that any one person is “the love of my life” though I the testimony of the posters above is wonderful.</p>
<p>My advice is to trust life; trust the process, not the outcome. Love is a quality inside you; if you can love there are many people you can love and I’m sure some of them will return your love.</p>
<p>You don’t need to be head over heels infatuated. Many cultures arrange marriages and those often work out well because the participants understand that love is a verb not a noun.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>“So, I have to ask—are you with the “love of your life” or did you miss that opportunity too?”</p>
<p>I think you’re selling the next person you meet short. Very dumb. you made a relationship mistake… learn from it so it never repeats itself. </p>
<p>You really never know what tomorrow brings or who is in it. I can think of five or six relationships that could have been… except the time wasn’t right as either they or I made bad decisions that damaged those relationships. I guess you’ll find the love of your life when the both of you stop making those relationship killing mistakes… no?</p>
<p>Yesterday, was Yes; Today, is Maybe, Tomorrow, will be No. What does your “Magic 8 Ball” tell you?</p>
<p>I am with the love of my life, 25 years now. We dated in high school and then were broken up for 3 years before re-connecting. It can happen.</p>
<p>I second mythmom.</p>
<p>Life (and death) happens in ways you can never imagine.</p>
<p>I especially agree with Zimmer07. Marriage is not always equal and you can’t resent the other for giving a larger percentage because at some point they will give a larger percentage to you.</p>
<p>It’s really true - when a door shuts, a window opens. I know people who were heartbroken over a break up - a while later they meet someone new and eventually say, “Thank heavens that first relationship didn’t work out!”</p>
<p>That said, if this person is truly the love of your life, time may heal wounds and your mistake may not be fatal. Either way, be sure you learn from it.</p>
<p>H and I celebrated our 25th anniv this past year…However, I agree with those that say that there’s not just “one” person in a lifetime who is the “right” one… It’s hard for you to see past your current crisis feelings, but as long as you learn from your experiences, they’re worth having them.</p>
<p>Am I with the love of my life? Heck if I know, and our 21st anniversary is tomorrow! (I also think there could be many “the ones”–but I’ve decided that H is my one and only). OP–If “the one” won’t have you back, then he’s/she’s not “the one.” Someone better will come along.</p>
<p>Now, please excuse me while I interrupt this thread with a brief musical interlude appropriate for all you long-married parents:</p>
<p>(Tevye) Do you love me?
(Golde) You’re a fool
(Tevye) I know… But do you love me?</p>
<p>(Golde)Do I love you? For twenty-five years I’ve washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow. . .after twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?</p>
<p>(Tevye)Golde, The first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared.
(Golde) I was shy.
(Tevye) I was nervous.
(Golde) So was I.</p>
<p>(Tevye) But my father and my mothers said we’d learn to love each other. And now I’m asking, Golde–do you love me?</p>
<p>(Golde) I’m your wife.
(Tevye) I know… But do you love me?</p>
<p>(Golde) Do I love him? For twenty-five years I’ve lived with him. Fought with him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is his. If that’s not love, what is?</p>
<p>(Tevye) Then you love me?
(Golde) I suppose I do.
(Tevye) And I suppose I love you too.</p>
<p>(Both) It change a thing. But even so, after twenty-five years, it’s nice to know.</p>
<p>Let’s see, who was it that sang?</p>
<p>There’s a Rose
In a fisted Glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can’t be with the one you love
It’s alright
Go ahead and love the one, love the one, love the one your with
Love the one, love the one, love the one your with
If your guy can’t come to you
And you don’t remember who your talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby, she is so so far away
Chorus: And there’s a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you cant be with the one you love
Love the one your with
Don’t be angry
Don’t be sad
Don’t sit cryin’ for good times you had
There’s a girl right next to you
And she’s waiting for something to do</p>
<p>“There’s a rose/In a fisted glove?” Wow … I never knew those were the words!</p>
<p>We dated for six months in high school before WashMom even knew we were dating. It’s a family legend. We then dated exclusively (“went steady”) for a year until WashMom dumped me for being a paranoid schmuck. We were very young.</p>
<p>A year later, we dated for six weeks and then broke up.</p>
<p>Two years later, we ran into each other at a party, went for a walk and pretty much re-fell-in-love sitting on the swings in a park in the middle of the night. We were married a year later, twenty-nine-and-a-half years ago.</p>
<p>From L.A. Story:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh, WashDad, that is so romantic. I have goosebumps!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I agree with that. The person you think is “the one” may not be at all, if there even is a “one,” which I’m not sure I believe. My first love did not turn out to be my lasting love, and I am very glad, even though there were many tears cried when we broke up. I’ve been married almost 29 years now. I love my husband very much, even though we have had our share of ups and downs.</p>