<p>The worm had female friends in HS and college, but nothing romantic until post-college (at least, not that he mentioned). At 24, he met a girl in grad school, and they have been together since their first date. There is a happy smile when he mentions her. Maybe because dating didn’t come easily to him, he is that much more appreciative of her.</p>
<p>Cobrat, that’s an interesting point. Not applicable to my kids, who went to an ordinary small-town public school, had a completely un-driven upbringing, and go to state u. Might apply to some of their friends though.</p>
<p>My D’s have been slow to date. older D doesnt share. but its hard. as she goes to a university that has a large amount of gay men. She is very outgoing and has a lot of male friends. Younger d is starting to come in to her own this year senior year of HS. with 3 boys asking her to semi. She has always said that in previous years, the boys were looking for one thing. I also think they were intimidated by her as she is smart, and a leader at her school. I understand there being a stigma to dating but I never discouraged it although I never put much emphasis on it.</p>
<p>It’s hard getting anything out of my S1 (college junior), but I know when he mentions a “friend” without saying the name, it’s a girl. I suspect he’s getting some dating action, but we don’t ask any questions. I’d imagine that he won’t date anyone seriously until he’s determined that she is “the one”, as he’s pretty picky. She’s going to have to be attractive, funny, interesting, and extremely smart. But ya know, you can’t have it all, or you just might wait forever!</p>
<p>S1 mostly hangs around with other geeky comp sci types. Heavily male dominated. I think he’s interested in girls, but far too shy to do anything about it. Not sure how many available young women he even knows. He graduated last spring.</p>
<p>S2 has always hung out with a diverse group of kids of both sexes. No idea at all which way his inclinations lie.</p>
<p>We’ll do the happy dance if either kid finds a significant other.</p>
<p>Daughter did not date in HS, but had a very wide circle of friends that she hung out with. Even through her first 3 college years, she went on a couple of dates, but nothing serious She is now seems to be her first serious relationship. It is a long distance relationship. She met him in her Colkege town at a music event. She visits him, he comes to her. Unfortunately, we have not met him yet and we are biting our tongues and trying to keep our mouths shut.</p>
<p>My dd is 19 and still has not dated. She doesn’t like the guys you want to date her for some reason. Well the ones I know about, there was good reason for not wanting to dating them so I don’t blame her. She just wants a tall, smart, handsome and athletic guy but she may have to give one of them up in order to catch a man. I just want her to be happy.</p>
<p>Gosh, I am wondering if this thread just attracted a lot of parents whose kids are slow to date, or if this deferral of dating is a reflection of the times…</p>
<p>D1’s blossomed a bit socially in her last year ALONE at home as a senior (no BF, but more socializing) after all the college/performance pressure dissipated (she was accepted ED, so had a relaxed final semester!), because that was D2’s first year away s at BS. So there really have been no overt issues between them. Of course, D1’s self-esteem may be a bit tarnished by watching her sister navigate so easily with boys, but not much, as they have always knows they are very very different people with very different surroundings. That is a wonderful thing. And I pray it lasts throughout their lives so that they can be there for each other for a vey long time.</p>
<p>I like this thread because I can totally relate. But I do not get the people who think their kids are late bloomers because their kids started dating in senior yr of HS. or dated a year or two in HS and then not again until junior yr of college, etc. Really? I think A kid is a late bloomer when he/she has not had a boy/girlfriend all through HS and college.</p>
<p>My S and D2 are late bloomers. My definition is no serious or long term relationship in HS or college.</p>
<p>Both were in really bad moods today. Saw S in person and spoke to D2. So I agree
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<p>I do not think they are.</p>
<p>D2 has had many boyfriends and is in a serious relationship now.</p>
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Can she give up athletic as a requirement? 
DS is sort of tall, at least not short (not super tall though, slightly less than six feet.); several parents in the church said he is handsome; must be smart enough as he has been graduated from a good college within the top 5 percents. He can never be an athlete but in good physical shape because he jogs regularly in the gym.</p>
<p>Like mathmom, we’ll do the happy dance if my kid finds a significant other. For some reason, he did not date in all 4 UG years on campus. Now it may become harder from now on, because he will likely have even less time to find his gf in the next long grueling years before he has a real income to financially support himself. We do not want him to find a significant other for the first time in the late 20s while we ourselves dated in the late teen. We believe he really has lost his golden opportunity of finding his mate in college years.</p>
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<p>Be careful of what you wish for. Perhaps you may not like him/her.</p>
<p>My D has gone through many (1-2 1/2yrs) relationships and a few of them we held our breath and prayed a lot.</p>
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<p>Everyone is different so the dating time table which may work for one individual/couple may not necessarily work for another…even if the latter happens to be your child(ren). </p>
<p>Moreover, one great thing I’ve found from dating in my late 20’s is that the immaturity factor of the women around my age range(+/- 5 years) has greatly decreased compared to my experiences in late college/early 20s. </p>
<p>One thing I am glad to not have experienced that a few college friends and older cousins who dated in high school/early college…SOs who are so needy/clingy/self-absorbed that they’re completely insensitive to the friends’ time pressures due to college, work, and family obligations. </p>
<p>One of the worst cases of this was a younger friend who dated a younger woman who expected him to take her to eat out 4+ days a week when he had massive student loans on the horizon and constantly complained about how much time college/first job was taking…even though he was actually bending over backwards to accommodate someone who didn’t seem to understand that in the “real world”…people are expected to study/work a minimum of 40+ hours a week.</p>
<p>Ditto my S. The youngest of my 4, I wonder if he’ll just live at home until he’s 30! 
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<p>He’s tall & fairly good looking, but shy…but can talk to girls (or anyone) if they’re interested in science, politics, or computers. Possibly someday a nice girl will notice him and that will be that. He’ll say OK and check “wife” off the list. :D</p>
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<p>Alternatively, if you do like your child’s significant other, they will break up. :(</p>
<p>My older son didn’t date in HS at all. He always had friends at school but never moved those friendships out of the time he was at school. I always said it would take a girl to chase him to get something going. He’s a Junior in college now and has been seeing a girl for almost a year. He even changed his facebook status! He hasn’t allowed us to meet her yet, but I’m putting down my foot come spring.</p>
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Dating or in a relationship is a learning and growing process. The girl probably didn’t know that she shouldn’t be that demanding of someone’s time no matter how much she wanted to spend time with him. Your friend should also have been able to let the girl know that he needed to work, maybe he was too immature to know how to handle the situation and know where to draw the boundary. But you don’t learn those things by being single and hiding in your home until you turn 30 (oh, now it is time for me to get involved with someone). </p>
<p>I do caution my girls about dating guys who have had never dated until late, or still live at home after college (unless it is in between jobs or grad school).</p>
<p>I will just note, for the record, that parents who restricted or discouraged dating during high school may have kids who had boyfriends/girlfriends secretly–we’ve observed this in our kids’ school. I wonder how open such kids are about what they’re up to when they get to college.</p>
<p>“I do caution my girls about dating guys who have had never dated until late, or still live at home after college”</p>
<p>What do you tell them, oldfort?</p>
<p>I would tell them to carefully observe the guy’s relationship with his mother.</p>
<p>I tend to think if a guy has a good relationship with his mother and siblings he is more apt to be a good partner.</p>
<p>Oldfort----There are so many graduating seniors living with their parents now. I see it in my town with the kids my sons went to middle school with. I think for some it is about paying off loans, while for others it is a lifestyle choice in that they want to save enough money to afford to move out in style. I saw this with my own sons. Son1 was home for almost a year—he paid off his loans, saved alot of money and rented a great apartment. Son2 has done the same thing and he will move out when the year is up. He already paid his loans off…and is saving money. He wants to purchase something. His brother is too far away to know exactly what he is doing but I assume since his apartment is paid for and there is not too much to do in the UE he is probably saving most of his earnings. He did mention buying something when his contract is over. </p>
<p>As far as late bloomers 1 out of 3 sons is a late bloomer. I have defined this as never dated in HS or had more than a few dates in college. I know he wants a relationship but he really has such limited time. He is a head turner yet he doesn’t seem to notice those heads that are turning. He is very good looking, outdoor person, skiier, climber, humble and very kind. I think it will take a woman to make the first move which I hope is not the case. I would love to see him go after the type of woman he wants.</p>