<p>^CC is not going to have the same results, job-wise. I have used CC as my spring board, and my first employer did not care (they also did not care to pay any close to average for proffessional work - it was below current min. wage level). However, my current employer is not allowed to interview for my position anybody without BS/BA. Several of my employment places paid my tution all thru MBA. If there is plan to continue, it is OK. If not, be aware that CC does not provide with the same job opportunities.</p>
<p>I was talking about starting out at Cc…transferring later, of course. If you are unsure as to a child’s motivation or chance of success at a four year school, it seems wiser to spend maybe $1200 for freshman year rather than $40,000.</p>
<p>Not the OP, but feel I could be. My 10th grader is similiar to OPs son, but his distractions differ. </p>
<p>Thanks all for the posts - esp fineartsmajormom for reminding me the positives of the laid-back attitude!</p>
<p>I agree with the posters who say your son needs help in learning how to organize, prioritize, etc. I suspect that he has more going on than just ADHD and needs to have very specific parameters and tools for how to get work accomplished. I think that you should find him a professional who can do this with him, and your job should just be to set the guidelines for electronics use and study time. I imagine that he will see the consequences of poor grades in not being in appropriate class placements for his intellectual capabilities.</p>
<p>There was another thread about the same subject matter, you can read it to get a reference:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/995368-help-mom-major-decision-about-her-son.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/995368-help-mom-major-decision-about-her-son.html</a></p>
<p>My suggestion there was to send him to military, except his mom said he refuses to go. I am wondering if your son will consider that.</p>
<p>I have to say I don’t think that is for anyone but the individual ( okay, and maybe the government) to decide ( i.e. a parent shouldn’t decide that for their child).
steps off soapbox…</p>
<p>Had a long conversation with S last night, thought I’d give you an update.
- Mentioned possibility of gap yr/CC if he or we didn’t feel he was ready for the responsibilities of going away to college. S: look of horror and a big “NO WAY”. Emphasized that we are NOT spending many many thousands of $$$ if we feel he will not be able to make himself do the work.
- Talked about what his college goals are, which we have before; he has a list of about 10 schools that he has been interested in for awhile, some of which will be reaches unless his grades improve (not a ton, we’re not talking Ivies). Told him that doors close when he chooses to use his limited time (he plays hs sports too @ jv level…should have written that in the original post) on nonproductive activities, and that all we want for him is to have the luxury of choosing between several schools where he can picture himself being happy.
- Helped him set a goal for the semester: 3.5 UW. He says he can do it. We went through class by class and set a goal grade…if he meets each goal his uw gpa will be 3.501.
- Set up a nice incentive for meeting the 3.5 goal for the YEAR. He REALLY wants to go to a pricey summer camp next summer (outdoorsy, not computer-related!)…if he meets the goal, he gets to go, we pay. OK, it’s a bribe. :)</p>
<p>Afterward he said very sincerely, “Thank you, Mom…it helps me when you help me set a goal and I know you know what it is.” Just about melted. Thank you for your continued support/advice. I will keep you updated.</p>
<p>You are right. S is honestly one of the nicest human being on earth.</p>
<p>What an awesome result! Thanks for posting the update! Aren’t you glad you did it? </p>
<p>With subjects like going to a cc, you could get a horrified no, or an “okay, that would be fine.” If you discuss it, rather than threaten, you can get an honest answer that is helpful to all parties.</p>
<p>Good for you!</p>
<p>Thanks for posting the update. It sounds like a really productive discussion. Good luck!</p>
<p>1) Mentioned possibility of gap yr/CC if he or we didn’t feel he was ready for the responsibilities of going away to college. S: look of horror and a big “NO WAY”. Emphasized that we are NOT spending many many thousands of $$$ if we feel he will not be able to make himself do the work.</p>
<p>Love it, Love it, Love it! </p>
<p>I would also take him to visit a cool college (maybe one that gives merit for certain stats) and let him think, “Wow, I want to go there and if I have the right stats, I can get a scholarship there.” </p>
<p>BTW…this is also the time to let him know if there there is a monetary budget for college. If you feel that with a few kids to put thru college, that you can only spend X per year for each kid, then that can become another incentive to have better stats to get merit money to go to a more expensive college. Of course, if you can pay for your kids to go wherever they want (and they know it), that may not be an incentive.</p>
<p>*
4) Set up a nice incentive for meeting the 3.5 goal for the YEAR. He REALLY wants to go to a pricey summer camp next summer (outdoorsy, not computer-related!)…if he meets the goal, he gets to go, we pay. OK, it’s a bribe.*</p>
<p>I like bribes! We show up for work because we get paid, right?</p>
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<p>Actually I think a competitive school is an incentive by itself. First of all, its a bragging rights for the parents as well as the kids. And don’t think the kids do not compare bragging rights. Secondly, to be in a better college dose give an overall challenging environment, kids learn better.</p>
<p>Believe me or not, my DD broke her back to get off the waitlist when we told her that we can afford Chicago.</p>
<p>Good job, OP, you have a real good kid, next time if he act up again, threaten him with the military scenario. :)</p>
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<p>Wow. That is great to hear. Thanks for updating us!</p>
<p>Fantastic! I was going to suggest that you ask him about going to college straight from HS but figured I should catch up on all of the responses first- you had the talk and got the response. You just gave him ownership of the process and motivation to do the work. Relax a bit- the ball is in his court and he is handling it. He is who he is and it sounds like he has thought about his future more than you guessed. Now your job is to help him stay on track over the next months- gentle reminders of his goals as needed. What a relief. Our sons do surprise us sometimes. I think you can turn off the worrying mode and enjoy life for awhile.</p>
<p>I think that is wonderful. It takes a lot of maturity to admit that you need help. You are lucky to have such a sweet kid.</p>
<p>Not to rain on the parade, but be prepared for some slippage (as early as next week --remember the steps forward generally come with some disappointments) and intervene early to remind him how it is hard to climb back up that grade hill with zero’s for assignments…even a late assignment with 50% credit is better than those zeros…missing assignments was always my son’s undoing…he would get As on the tests, big assignments ok…but those iddy-biddy daily calc homeworks or the teacher who takes points off for not coming prepared…the weekly spanish essay…the dress up physics day every two weeks (extra credit in IB physics for well dressed students and for pocket protectors and tie clip)…I put all those rote assignments on a calendar, I reminded him each evening looking at the calendar, kept the tie clip with the car keys …he kept a jacket and tie in the car. …like I said, college is sink or swim, but two years of the daily rundown seems to have given him some basic organization skills. He hated those silly little assignments and extra credit stuff that some teachers relied upon, but I think they were critically important for a student like him to realize that, yes, occasionally you DO need to sweat the small stuff.</p>
<p>We all have our fingers crossed that it goes well and your S gets his 3.5 and the opportunity to do the summer program. I don’t consider those things bribes…justifiable rewards for doing something extraordinary…overcoming challenges deserves recognition and reward. What seems so simple for some kids is truly a challenge for others. Imagine the power of positive thinking from all the CC community!</p>
<p>*Actually I think a competitive school is an incentive by itself. First of all, its a bragging rights for the parents as well as the kids. And don’t think the kids do not compare bragging rights. Secondly, to be in a better college dose give an overall challenging environment, kids learn better.</p>
<p>Believe me or not, my DD broke her back to get off the waitlist when we told her that we can afford Chicago.*</p>
<p>If your DD was on Chicago’s waitlist, then she already was a strong-performing student. Such a student would be motivated to do better.</p>
<p>This student is in a different situation. </p>
<p>I know a student who has the stats to get into his chosen school. However, if he were to increase his ACT by 2 points, he’d get a good scholarship. He has no incentive to study to bring up his score since he knows his parents will pay no matter what.</p>
<p>Sounds very much like my S. Very smart, high standardized test scores. No work ethic. Really into video games. We ran the gamut with him, taking things away, him doing better, then backsliding. Weekly progress reports. I had him tested in middle school for ADD and he was considered borderline; I chose not to have him medicated.</p>
<p>The nadir was during Junior year, when I went to a parent teacher conference and realized S had hidden his latest progress report. I actually called him up from the school and told him if I ever saw WOW on his computer again, I was going to take it and throw it in the river behind our house. :eek:</p>
<p>He started getting his act together senior year. We toured a few colleges that he really liked. But with his grades, it was iffy that he would be admitted. Then when I understood what our EFC would be, I told him those schools were not doable, since his grades wouldn’t get him the merit aid he’d need.</p>
<p>He had a really good senior year, I think initially in the hopes of salvaging his college chances, then I think it was more a bit of maturity kicking in. He got his license the end of senior year, and the video game mania seemed to lessen as he drove places and did things with his friends. He starting getting himself up for his summer job (he who had to be woken with a cattle prod for all his life up to that point).</p>
<p>He is apparently doing ok at college.</p>
<p>So there is hope.</p>