Excellent article and true story that really resonates with me
It’s funny because I think my mom lived the way I’m now living. It wasn’t until she was like 85 that she started to feel “old” and became frustrated thst sometimes she got tired or couldn’t do as much as before (while actually she was SO active and her mind so good!)
My mom was extremely active until too many broken bones due to osteoporosis slowed her down. She remained engaged in life until dementia set in. For as long as possible, my mom lived life as if she wasn’t getting “old.” I do the same. I don’t feel old, and I don’t act old. If someone thinks I look old, that’s their problem!
My bff and I had a funny, to me, exchange not long ago. She was angry that in a recent news story a man was referred to as “an elderly 69-year-old.” She said, “Can you believe that? Do you think a 69-year-old is elderly?” And when I said yes, she said, “You mean to tell me that in eight years when you are 69 you will be elderly?” And I said, “No, in four years when I’m 65, I will be elderly.” That made her so mad, lol.
I told her that if the average man’s life expectancy is 77 then isn’t he elderly at 69? If not, eight years before he dies, then when?
I told her elderly is merely a descriptor but feeling elderly is a choice. I might be objectively old at 65, but that doesn’t mean that I have to live like I’m old. I work out every day and try new things and keep up with current music and trends. I’m not resigned to a life on the sidelines.
I have a lot of negative feelings reading this. Some in 60’s and 70’s have health issues, including osteoporosis and fractures. that make this admiration for physical feats hard to take. Can we be a "badass’ for smiling through pain every day? Honestly, sorry, but feeling old is not a “choice.” The attribution of virtue to physical stamina is highly “ableist.”
While the bike was the example, I also took the article to say that not growing “old” was more than just being physically active. Learning new things. Staying current in many facets. Taking on new roles.
Mind-set was the most significant factor determining individuals’ longevity.
This is much more important than actual physical ability. In fact it was only yesterday I had a long discussion with a dear friend who is now physically limited and it’s been a long haul both physically and mentally for her. Bottom line is that although some or even many activities are severely curtailed by physical restrictions is the simple fact that she needs to find some new outlets, new activities, new interests to remain interested in life. There are a million things that people enjoy on a daily basis so go find several and try them out. The world is much larger than the bubble in which we choose to live sometimes.
What!!!? I’m old? Thank heaven no one in my circle considers 65 old. We’re all 25 in our heads, and we look and feel great. (Mirrors lie, damn them.) Some of us have had hips and knees replaced, but we haven’t slowed down. My 87-year-old mom is still doing massage therapy. After my hip surgery last year, I told her to put the date of “Baby’s First Joint Replacement” in my baby book.
Old is definitely a state of mind and one I have no intention of traveling to.
It doesn’t have to be just about physical agility. This article focuses on mental acuity instead:
Vernon L. Smith, 97, is a very busy man.
The economist at Chapman University just finished writing a book about Adam Smith and works about eight hours a day, seven days a week in his home office in Colorado Springs, Colo. He enjoys chatting with friends on Facebook and attending concerts with his daughter.
“I still have a lot of stuff to do. I want to keep at it,” said Smith, who won the Nobel Prize in economics in 2002.
…
Smith says his work and his family keep him motivated and driven.
I am glad there is recognition here that a good life doesn’t require physical health and stamina, Editing here to say that my daughter, age 33, has arthritis and has neuro issues and cannot ride a bike (or drive). It’s not just about age. She is a role model for me, ironically, as I age.
I also read it to mean that finding a new passion for anything will help delay the aging process. It’s important to continue to stimulate your mind as well as move your body in some way.
While this person’s later life accomplishments in cycling are remarkable, a fall while cycling at her age would likely be catastrophic, so I think that needs to be heavily weighed into a decision to be the AARP Lance Armstrong.
" she was checking many of the boxes — health, novelty, community and purpose — needed to age well. (For others, this might come in the form of a language class, a book club, a commitment to mastering a plank.)"
“Another thing not expected of older women: passion.”
“Adventure, it turns out, is in the eye of the beholder and can be had by almost all of us, despite physical restrictions, financial constraints or limited backcountry know-how.”
"I’m sure my mother would still be pedaling if not for this stroke of bad luck. Instead, she gets outside any way she can, often on a walk around her neighborhood. " (key point - be willing to modify when conditions warrant it - doesn’t mean you are destined for the couch and the remote)
I was thinking the same thing. We have an octogenarian in the family who has had three major bike accidents in the last few years. We’ve been begging him to start using the peloton at his gym (steps from his condo) which he did for one week and then went back to outdoors. Aside from the three actual accidents, there have been a whole slew of near misses. It’s time for him to find another activity. In his case, the “age is just a state of mind” mentality is getting in the way of common sense.
There is a balance somewhere between this article and the struggles people are sharing in the caring for parents thread.
I think the article pointed out some interesting points.
Find your passion, embrace it. But also understand that you may have to pivot. What was once doable, may not always be. But getting out and doing is the key! And you can always find a new passion. Especially once all of those commitments aren’t there.
I see my mil kicking and screaming into her aging. Keeps telling us that she doesn’t feel old. While I think that’s great, I also see with my eyes where she is slowing down. Driving is one issue, her memory isn’t what it once was. And her balance, oh boy!
For myself, even though I’m only in my 60’s now, I see things that used to be easy, aren’t as. I used to drive by myself hours and hours. Now I see that it’s better to rest and maybe not push myself like I used to.
My mom decided to drive by herself to her sister’s house, 7 hours away. In her 80’s. And then She was mad that others didn’t think it was a great idea.
I hope to continue to move and to move. I also hope that I understand my limitations when that time comes.
I turned 60 last year. For several years prior, I struggled with multiple running related injuries as I attempted to fight off aging with intense exercise. I realized I needed to adjust my expectations for myself. Did I love running or did I just want to feel special? Have people say, wow, you’re training for Race X? Well, I do love running. But I love it more now that I’ve thrown in strength training and am working with a coach who works almost exclusively with women my age. Now that I’ve left the legal field, I’m using my skills and experience to volunteer at an immigration clinic. It’s helping me work on my Spanish, too!
If I died tomorrow, I wouldn’t want to think I’d missed out on anything I wanted to do. The trainer I weight train with always mentions aging gracefully. Looking for opportunities to live life fully absolutely keeps you young!
However, life expectancy at birth is not the same as life expectancy after attaining a certain age.
According to Actuarial Life Table , male life expectancy at birth in the US is 74 years, but male remaining life expectancy at age 69 is 14 years (i.e. expected to live to 83).