<p>Phoebe Prince’s death is tragic. I believe the bullies must have made her life a living hell, and they should be punished and held accountable. But I’m uncomfortable with demonizing children, any children, and the righteous calls for zero tolerance. I think that it’s quite possible that even active, involved school administrators can often be clueless as to the extent of manipulative, bullying behavior right under their noses. It’s certainly true that many parents don’t know their own children that well. Children learn very early on how to behave around adults, how to make the right impression. That impression often has nothing to do with reality.</p>
<p>Bullying children exist because there are bullying adults. Bullying can be subtle. I’ve seen lots of bullying on the toddler playground and guess what? It was perpetuated by the parents. I’ve seen and heard a lot of righteous anger about what someone else’s kid did to their little angel, and a lot of it sounds pretty close to judging, intolerance, and scapegoating – all bullying by another name.</p>