<p>Absolutely no offense to you personally, but I find it extremely irritating when people use their age/life experience in any area to dismiss the ‘pronouncements’ of a person in their 20’s and say things change. For some people, maybe, and some people just know themselves and a lot of core values/identity doesn’t change, even if some more superficial things do. People have told me this about so many things (not even related to sexuality), and for most things nothing changed, and I am going to be 30 in a few years. I think people don’t need constant advice or for others to take it upon themselves to broaden the young person’s mind (it’s a little condescending) - I think people just need to be accepted for who they are with no constant anticipation of some change. </p>
<p>I think the same of asexual people. I think they and their health needs to be left alone (I am sure the idea of going to a doctor is something they can think of on their own), and no one should be trying to give them unsolicited advice on changing or anticipating change from them. If it happens, it can be dealt with when it does, but it’s kind of offensive to treat it as a phase. I am not asexual, so can’t speak for that, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that my own choices when it comes to sexuality have not and will not change - unfortunately, I guess I have to wait 20 years until you believe it, and it I would be pretty irritating if people were coming up to me calling a big part of my identity and value system something that will change in a few years - hasn’t changed in over a decade.</p>
<p>I understand that it can sound patronizing. Im sorry that I tend to be abrupt in my opinions, I am on the aspie spectrum so not great with making them more palatable.
However- thems the facts.
If I am supposed to understand and accept their experience, why is the reverse not true?
Why is it that my experience is dismissed and brushed off-? Because it is not PC enough?
@@
Even if you are a medical dr, you should not be diagnosing yourself.
Lack of interest in things that other people find necessary for life- food, sleep, sex, IS an indication of depression.
People who are depressed don’t necessarily go around staring at the floor all the time.
I find it very offensive for someone to suggest that health concerns should be ignored.
Extremely offensive.
Too many people are afraid of sticking their neck out to get someone the help they are unable to ask for.</p>
<p>I’m not sure that the idea of going to a doctor is something that would necessarily occur to them. People with no interest in sex may think of the way they feel as a normal variant – and they may be right. But it could also be a symptom of a physical problem. It would be worthwhile to get checked out physically, not because there’s anything wrong with being asexual but because if there’s a physical problem, it may need to be treated.</p>
<p>Some things need to be checked out with a doctor even if they don’t bother you. For example, if a young woman goes without menstrual periods for many months (and is not pregnant), this needs to be checked out, even though she may be pleased with the convenience of not having to cope with periods. Lack of interest in sex falls into the same category.</p>
<p>Well. Not to be too blunt, but I am not sure, over the pages, how much some understand what asexuality can encompass. It’s not as simple as lack of desire or “choice.” There is discussion/argument out there, in the psychological and medical community- and others. It can be a physiological issue. Apparently, in some, there is related depression. All I did was google.</p>
<p>My 23 year-old daughter identifies as asexual. She’s a homo-romantic asexual, to be exact. She has a girl-friend who is not asexual. My daughter works to raise awareness about asexuality; she founded an asexuals club at her college. At one time she gained lots of support from AVEN (mentioned in the Huffington Post article). </p>
<p>I wish she had reserved any sort of label or identification until she was a little older, instead of boxing herself into any group quite so young. For me, it’s very difficult to understand asexuality. If I ask questions, my daughter becomes infuriated. I invariably use the wrong words or make the wrong assumptions, but all I’m doing is trying to understand. We no longer discuss it much. She tells me it’s private and none of my business. As long as she and her girl-friend are happy, I’m happy. In any case, I’m glad the orientation is getting more attention.</p>
<p>As a culture, we overvalue sexuality as a determining factor in identity and create too much anxiety about it by constantly harping on it. IMHO the “asexuality” movement is a backlash against this tendency to make sex the critical primary human experience. On the other hand, I do think that people who have no sexual interest whatsoever, or who find sex repulsive, probably have some health or psychological issues.</p>
<p>Interesting chart. There are so many labels that the labels become insignificant. Biromantic…Gray A…Demisexual?? What do these even mean?</p>
<p>There’s too muh focus on creating label on things. If you like having relationship with pans, say so. If you aren’t attracted to people, say so. If you like guys, say so. Labels confine people and it’s unnecessary to great labels for every single orientation. </p>