<p>I’m curious to know what folks do with the ashes of a loved one after cremation. On the mantel in a fancy urn? In the garage on a shelf? Scattered into the ocean after a brief ceremony?</p>
<p>For the family members who chose cremation, we scattered them in their favorite places for two of them. The others were interred at a cemetery. My pets who we’ve had cremated are in pretty wooden boxes adorned by a photo of them and I have a shelf in my study where they reside. :)</p>
<p>I sent my mom to Hawaii. She always had wanted to go there and never did. The funeral director who arranged her cremation arranged for her ashes to be scattered on Maui.</p>
<p>One relative kept her husband’s ashes on her dresser for the rest of her life, and then they were buried with her (she wasn’t cremated). Another set of ashes are in an urn in a columbarium. At my church, there is a garden where ashes can be interred, and the name added to a plaque.</p>
<p>Our religious beliefs compel us to “Bury the dead” so we are not comfortable with the scattering or display of ashes. We would either bury the container in a cemetery or inter them, like Hunt mentioned.</p>
<p>Four people in my family who died in recent decades were cremated.</p>
<p>One person requested in her will that her ashes be placed in the grave of her husband, who had died more than forty years before. The necessary arrangements were made with the cemetery, and it was done. </p>
<p>Another wanted her ashes scattered over a body of water near where she lived. This turned out to be simple to arrange; there are companies that do this in many areas, and funeral directors know about them. There was no ceremony in this instance, although it would have been possible to arrange one. </p>
<p>The other two family members had their ashes buried in a family plot, where their parents, a grandparent, a sibling, and other family members are buried. The plot was “full,” but this was not a barrier. I don’t think a plot is ever too full to accommodate ashes. There are headstones for these two individuals in the plot now; arranging for those was no problem. There was also a service at the cemetery in one of the two instances. This was not difficult to arrange, with the help of the funeral director.</p>
<p>Whatever you want to do, the funeral director can usually help you arrange to do it easily and legally. The funeral director may even be able to suggest options you haven’t thought of. These people know their business (my husband’s stepmother was in that business, so I have some familiarity with it), and they’re accustomed to working with families who prefer cremation. Let them advise you.</p>
<p>My will states that I would like to be cremated when the time comes. I haven’t made a specific request for what happens afterward, but there’s a body of water that’s very meaningful to me. Perhaps I should do a little research and see whether there are companies licensed to scatter ashes there.</p>
<p>When mom died her ashes were put in a beautiful urn (box) which was displayed behind glass in a cubicle in a mausoleum in the cemetary.</p>
<p>Later when dad died his ashes were added to hers ( “shaken not stirred” were his instructions)</p>
<p>Their wedding rings were tied together with ribbon and are in with the ashes per their request.</p>
<p>My uncle had been in the Navy for 20 years and one of his last wishes was to have his ashes scattered at sea from a Navy vessel. After he died, my father made the arrangements to have his wishes followed. The Navy followed up later with a very nice letter detailing the date and time of the ceremony at sea.</p>
<p>My dad’s are in a box in my mom’s closet, with his favorite hat on top of the box, waiting for Mom to join him. Upon her death, the two sets of ashes are to be mixed, and buried in a biodegradable container in the old family cemetary. (The plot has already been purchased and the headstone picked out.)</p>
<p>On a related issue, our church has a lovely columbarium in a beautiful garden setting. When it first opened, they had sort of an introductory sale on advanced purchase of niches. That is what one of my friends got for Christmas from her husband that year…her columbarium niche!!! (She actually loved the gift and I love the story.)</p>
<p>My mother was not cremated and my father will be. His ashes will be buried with her and they chose a shared headstone. </p>
<p>I have a friend who simply scattered her husband’s ashes on his favorite beach, with no official process. Don’t know how regulations on that vary by state…</p>
<p>My father in laws ashes are in 5 little bags (5 kids) in a box in my attic labeled Jack. No one wanted to deal with them at the time. I have brought it up many times over the past 18 years. (Talk about avoidance!)</p>
<p>Jack was a smoker who drove an old Monte Carlo. He always joked that he wanted his ashes put in the ash tray of the car and then roll the car down the bank into the river.</p>
<p>30-40 years ago there was an Ann Landers or Dear Abby about at women who left instructions to her girlfriends/sisters that they were to mix her ashes into a can of paint and then to paint the ceiling in her master bedroom. I guess she wanted to keep an eye on her husbands future bedroom activities. </p>
<p>Me - I prefer not to be burned up and instead have asked my boys to get me a granite bench as a grave marker so they be able to sit when they come to visit. (I wish)</p>
<p>My parents ashes are underneath the town Christmas tree next to the Erie Canal. Dad loved the canal and mom loved anything to do with Christmas decorations.</p>
<p>Does your religion have any restrictions. As a Catholic, I wouldn’t be allowed to spread the ashes or keep them on a mantle. I would have to have them buried, preferably in consecrated grounds. With special permission, a burial at sea (not scattered) in a container can be allowed (JFK, Jr’s ashes, I think, was done this way)</p>
<p>However, many other faiths don’t have any rules.</p>
<p>
That reminded me of the following: [Comic</a> Book’s Ink Includes Ashes of Editor - Los Angeles Times](<a href=“http://articles.latimes.com/1997/aug/29/news/mn-27069]Comic”>Comic Book's Ink Includes Ashes of Editor)</p>
<p>*
30-40 years ago there was an Ann Landers or Dear Abby about at women who left instructions to her girlfriends/sisters that they were to mix her ashes into a can of paint and then to paint the ceiling in her master bedroom. I guess she wanted to keep an eye on her husbands future bedroom activities.
*</p>
<p>this reminds me of folks who want to be buried with their cell phones. kind of strange.</p>
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<p>Isn’t that what the Pharaohs did in ancient Egypt?</p>
<p>My uncle’s ashes were placed in a dissolvable urn which will be dunked into the Long Island Sound, per his wishes.</p>
<p>My dad wants me to take his ashes and sprinkle them on my mom’s grave and then put a nice flowering plant on top.</p>
<p>I am a single parent and I have told daughter and other family members that I really don’t care much but that whatever makes my kid the most comfortable/least uncomfortable is ok with me, but if she wants me to decide, she could sprinkle me on top of Grandma and Grandpa or throw the box with my ashes away or keep them or just some of them as a remembrance. When she was studying for her bat mitzvah (at her request), she told me that she just heard the phrase “religion is the opiate of the masses” and that’s how she feels, but she likes the rituals.</p>
<p>My dad said he wants to cremated. He wasn’t specific as to what he wants done with the cremains. Mom hasn’t said. H wants to be buried and not cremated. I’d like to donate my body to science if they’re interested. Afterwards they will cremate and scatter ashes at sea or return cremains to family, whichever family prefers.</p>
<p>HImom, my dad also wants to be donated to science as did my uncle, but I have heard that medical schools don’t accept most bodies donated to them. I have a card with a phone number for such donations from a medical school in our area and I’ll try to carry out my dad’s wishes but we both know that it’s a long shot.</p>
<p>My Dad’s ashes are in a box at my Mom’s house. UPon her death, she wants us to mix their ashes. 1/2 will be sprinkled at their favorite hiking place at Big Sur. The other 1/2 will be placed in an urn that a local potter has designed for us, and then placed at our local cemetary with a plaque… My MOm is really into geneology and loves visiting old cemeteries to see graves of relatives. She wants something physical to mark their lives at our cemetery, and I kind of like the idea of having someplace to visit. The urn is amazing- we told him what kind of things our parents enjoyed and he designed the urn to reflect those things.</p>