I recommend you go see a genetic counselor. There are genetic counselors that specialize in cancer genetic counseling, and they would be perfect for your situation. For some, just being highly anxious about their cancer risks is enough for a referral, but being of Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry is a fairly common reason (in the genetic counseling world) to be referred–often for cancer genetic counseling, but many also get referred for prenatal cancer genetic counseling or preconceptional genetic counseling, among others.
Genetic counselors (good ones, at least) are a fantastic resource for a situation like yours. They are experts on genetic tests that are available to you and have experience with managing and working around insurance companies (genetic testing in general is expanding rapidly and is relatively new, so insurance companies have very varied policies regarding them). There are lots of different options with the genetic testing that would be available to you, and they can walk you through each one so that you get exactly what you want and no more or less. For example, it’s possible to receive genetic testing solely for the three mutations in BRCA1/BRCA2 that are more common in the Ashkenazi Jewish population (in response to the comment above about insurance coverage, even if insurance does not cover anything, this test is often MUCH less expensive than other genetic testing and may be do-able to pay out of pocket, depending on your situation). It’s possible to have a genetic test that reads through the entire BRCA1/BRCA2 genes to look for ANY change. It’s also possible to have a genetic test that reads through genes that confer relatively well-known and high risks for breast or ovarian cancer, and there are even more expansive panels that include genes that confer moderate risk for breast cancer (and these genes often do not have guidelines for what to do if you have a change or mutation). They will be able to tell you if any genetic testing is indicated, what tests are available, what your insurance is likely to cover and how much it will cost if your insurance does not cover it, and what testing is right for what you want.
In addition to knowing about what testing is available, they are trained to help you find the testing that is right for you (and if they don’t do this, you might want to find a different genetic counselor). It’s not always one-size fits all. They will take a detailed medical family history (as well as collect information on your own personal medical history), and put it all together to discuss what your own personal cancer risks are. There are models which they can us to give you numbers of your risk (the models all have their pros and cons, but for some people having some sort of numerical estimate can help them understand what is meant by “high risk” or “low risk”). They can also talk to you about what you want from genetic testing, and tell you the pros and cons of getting testing. They can walk you through what would happen if you have a change (or “mutation”) in gene that gives a high risk for cancer, what would happen if the test did not find a mutation, and what would happen if they found a “unknown” change whose meaning was not well-understood (which can happen, depending on what test you get). I think most importantly they can tell you the benefits and the limitations of genetic testing. A lot of genetic testing gets oversold on what it actually means and what it can tell you, and a lot of people are surprised how complicated and uninformative it can get. They can talk to you about whether or not you want genetic testing at all, and if you do, they’ll help you figure out what test you want. And (also, very importantly) they will be able to help you interpret what your test results mean. If everything comes back normal, that doesn’t mean your cancer risk is 0, and if it comes back with a mutation in BRCA1/BRCA2 or any other gene, it does not mean your cancer risk is 100. They can also tell you how genetic testing could impact your personal life and the life of your family members. There are lots of factors that come into play.
So that’s a long way of saying–I think seeing a genetic counselor would be a good idea. Doctors who don’t have a lot of experience with genetic testing or who aren’t trained in genetics may handle the testing inappropriately, not fully explain what your getting yourself into, or order an inappropriate test. Genetic counselors are trained in genetic testing and the intricacies of it, as well as the skills needed to determine how valuable the test would be to you, explain what the test is and what it can and cannot tell you, help you decide what you want, and help you get it if you need it.
Feel free to PM me if you want more information or have questions about the process. I have friends and family who went through the genetic counseling process and feel fairly strongly about it’s value, particularly with people who have a history of anxiety around health-related issues.