Basically what the title says. The past three years, I’ve worked my butt off in high school because of my parents. 1580 SAT, 14 AP/DE classes, skipped two math classes over the summer to take MV Calc this year, President of two clubs and an honor society, State and National officer for an organization, and two passion projects with decent impact. All for nothing.
I’ve just been starting to prepare for college apps this fall and sat down with my parents to discuss. I don’t know what caused my parents to do a complete 180, but just now, they told me that they would only let me go to community college. If I were to go to any other school, I’d have to bear 100% of the cost and they don’t want to cover my application fees. I know community college is a great option, but I’m just incredibly disappointed. I’ve pulled countless all nighters, cancelled hangouts with friends, and lived in constant stress just to stay on top of school and my EC’s for what?
And I’m in a bit of a pickle. They never let me get any part-time jobs during the school year or over the summer so that I could focus more on school. I have $0 to my name and have no way of even covering application fees to apply to other colleges. Also, my family makes 210k (we live in Northern Virginia) so I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t qualify for any substantial need-based scholarships or the Pell Grant. I’m thinking of applying to other scholarships, but I also just learned about scholarship displacement and I’m not sure if those scholarships would help me significantly.
I’m just really disappointed and don’t know what to do. Princeton (Tiger ) was our dream college together and I don’t know what caused them to change—and they won’t explain themselves. I know this may come across as entitled and ranty, but could someone try explaining their rationale? What are steps I could do now as I’m entering college app season?
Sorry for your disappointment. I do understand but…
You can apply to schools that have no app fee and hope for a full ride or you can apply to schools where you’d qualify for a full ride like Troy U.
At $210k, you might get need aid from a top school but not a full ride.
Or you can go to a CC. Nothing wrong with that and I see no waste. You are you - your efforts and outcomes will lead you through life. A school name won’t.
You might look at W&L - they sent my daughter a free app if she applied for Johnson (full ride) - maybe they still do. SMU has a full ride - a few years ago they had an app waiver if apply by Sept 30. Niche has a list of no app fee schools.
Troy would be assured I believe. There are some others - at HBCUs I believe.
Sometimes you have to roll with the changes in life. You will make your success in life so community college or 4 year school today, you will ultimately drive your success.
I don’t know what happened - maybe your parents don’t want to spend $50 or $100k etc. a year and I can understand.
So it is what it is.
Are you a NMF by chance ? That would open more full rides.
There are lists of other colleges that have full rides. Or would you consider ROTC ..and a military career ?? Look at colleges that have Stamps awards … go for the easier like U Oregon. You can try Vandy, WUSTL, and others - ask for app fee waivers.
Google college vibe and full ride and you’ll get a list of possibilities to research.
It sounds like your parents might have some reason to be worried about financial security.
Even with a full scholarship, covering all expenses, you’re going to need spending money for routine expenses and for travel. You might want to consider a gap year, get the best paying job you can, and save as much as you can. This would also buy time to see if your parents outlook on things changes. There are lots of schools out there with full scholarships who would love to have you apply.
You could consider a well paying in-demand trade like CNC machinist where any necessary preparatory education is likely to be available at community colleges, followed by entry-level apprenticeships with on-the-job training. Then you can work for a while and either make a career out of it, or save money to attend college for a bachelor’s degree as an independent (for financial aid purposes) student after you turn 24.
Other option is to look for full ride scholarships, like at Tuskegee and PVAMU, if they have suitable academic offerings.
Ditto the gap year idea. A job would give you some degree of financial agency and may even allow your parents to reconsider their decision. Also, have you run the NPCs for some of these elite colleges? It sounds like you might be eligible for full-rides at many of them.
Perhaps your parents have a financial reason for this decision.
In some states, successfully completing courses at community colleges can lead to acceptances at four year colleges. Find out what is the case in VA.
What can or will your parents do once you complete two years at a CC? Will they then help you financially at a four year to complete your bachelors?
Is there a four year public university you can commute to from your home? This likely would cost more than a CC but maybe not a lot more.
I’m a little confused…will your parents fully fund your community college course work…including the costs of commuting, and things like tuition, fees, and books?
Start looking for colleges where you will get significant merit aid.
VA has a ton of public universities. It’s possible you could get a scholarship at a place like Virginia Commonwealth that has the potential to bring the cost down to the same as CC.
Find out exactly how much your parents will give you for college next year.
You did this and you were a better educated high school senior because of it. Would it have been better to be a less wonderful student? I don’t think so.
I would also encourage you to get a part time job now. You have an entire year before you would start school and can start saving money now for books, travel, etc…
If it’s a financial reason (which I get, also living in a very high COL area), I’d suggest going big (the highly selective schools have generous financial aid), or find less selective schools where your stats put you at the top, and will give you generous merit to bribe you.
the highly selective schools have generous financial aid
Except that the family makes $210K. This student will have to be looking at scholarships + the poaaibility of a small amount if financial aid. Some highly selective schools like the Ivies, Little Ivies, etc don’t offer merit scholarships but only need based aid.
and something like free tuition but not room/board.
Hence the need for free schools automatically like Troy, but expense getting there or applying to schools with full rides and being very very very lucky.
OP - tons of leaders have gone the CC route.
Talk to your folks and ask the why, of course, and it looks like there are state resources if you do this to help financially the last two years. It might help you to understand their concern and maybe develop a plan to live within that concern.
You may not go to Princeton - but you can be equally as successful in life.
At 210K family income a student at the most generous schools can receive significant need based financial aid…of course this is dependent on the asset picture as well, and we have no idea what OP’s situation is regarding that.
OP should run each school’s NPC along with their parents. Here’s Princeton’s:
Agree, but a family with a $210K income is not going to get 100% of costs covered based on need. And that’s what this student needs, given that the parents aren’t willing to pay anything.
Like anything, I expect talking about college with the parents will be a process for OP.
Perhaps if OP’s parents see that OP would receive full tuition (based on need) at Princeton and similar schools they would change their minds. (I ran Princeton’s NPC at $210K income and ‘like’ assets, and the results showed OP would be roughly paying room and board costs. Caveat: again, we don’t know OP’s asset picture and there’s no reason for them to post that here.)
I would encourage OP to continue talking with their parents and educating them about college admissions and finances, one step at a time. Perhaps another trusted adult can also speak with the parents…a HS counselor, aunt or uncle, clergy, etc.
I misspoke, sorry! I was thinking Ivy’s and generous financial aid, not merit. I believe Princeton offers free tuition for those earning under $250,000 (but not free r/b).
OP—I second the recommendation to run the Net Price Calculators for Princeton (known as the most generous college with need-based aid) and any other of the similarly highly rejective colleges (which all give no merit aid but generous need-based aid, even at high income levels. And they are all different so you have to run the NPCs for each individually. But start with Princeton since it is the most generous).
And then make sure your parents know that need-based aid is recalculated every year, so that if their finances change, you are eligible for additional grants (which don’t need to be paid back). Usually there is a two-year look back for income calculations when determining need-based aid, but most colleges will make an exception and consider current (lower) income when there is a job loss that causes a significant drop in income without the two-year look back, which is obviously more helpful to families facing a sudden drop in finances.
And even if they won’t pay, will they let you use their info to fill out the FAFSA and CSS profile for the generous colleges? You could get a summer job now, and a school-year job in the fall, to cover application fees etc.
And ask if they would at least cover the cost of your meal plan
(presumably they would be paying at least your food costs for community college) as well as whatever costs community college would incur for tuition and fees. With your earnings and a generous college and the federal student loan ($5500 first year, $6500 second year, $7500 years three and four), you can probably swing the costs at Princeton or similar if you are admitted.
The standard caveat applies that of course Princeton and the ivies are a high reach for everyone but you have the stats etc to at least be in the running.
Oh of course. But it’s easy to see why parents in NoVa might be worried about finances given how dependent the area is on the federal government, so trying to address that might solve the OP’s problem.
) was our dream college together and I don’t know what caused them to change—and they won’t explain themselves. I know this may come across as entitled and ranty, but could someone try explaining their rationale? What are steps I could do now as I’m entering college app season?