@sftreat - I just PM’d you
Our family is new to the boarding school world. Now that admission decisions are out - I’m wondering if it is appropriate/expected that DS will send a thank you to his AO and/or other Admissions staff he interacted with - his interviewer perhaps? I’m just unsure. TIA.
Not expected, but a note is always a lovely gesture. Another option is to follow up at Revisit Day and thank them in person. Either way- whatever you decide will be warmly received and very much appreciated. 
Congratulations, @Hoganshero! Welcome to the club!!
@Hoganshero we’ve also been counseled to reach out to AOs at the schools where we are not accepting to graciously let them know that they’re attending elsewhere, appreciate the opportunity, etc etc etc
One thing we found helpful during the inquisitions was to reference an authority outside our family. Our D’s GC has sat with me to outline her probable HS trajectory, and there were some huge gaps: Both academic and cocurricular sacrifices. Of course she’d be “fine”, but we chose to explore all the options.
(Sure enough, one of D’s friends, whose passion is visual arts, was not placed in a single art class all freshman year - with 8 class blocks to work with.)
We usually phrased it as “Due to D’s specialized interests, we were looking for a school that has the strong academics of LPS, as well as the flexibility to accommodate D’s other interests.” And we’d bring up some specific from our GC meeting that would make sense to the person we were taking to.
Our LPS was a solid Plan B though. Some people aren’t so lucky.
I used to feel I had to explain our choice to allow our children to go to boarding school (I don’t like to say we “sent” them) - or even apologize for it - but over time I learned to simply present it as a fact. People who knew our kids at all knew that they were smart and talented and devoid of behavior problems, so although they might have thought we were evil parents, at least they knew the kids weren’t “sent away” because of their own failings!
Good luck to all new prep school parents!
Some parents thought that boarding school was for “bad kids”, Undisciplined kids with “problems“, sending as a punishment, or was going to a treatment center. One parent stated that BS would be “harsh”. Interesting perceptions. ?
^yep! When we tell people DS is at BS, they tend to say “What happened? I always thought he was such a good kid.”
Trying to get a list together of what we need to get for our daughter for next year…having said that, are OTC meds allowed in students dorm rooms?? I’ve looked at the student handbook online (Lville) and it the wordage is confusing. I’m wondering mostly about tylenol, ibuprofen and pepto. Also, any idea where herbal supplements fall in the rules? She currently takes Olly Sleep (melatonin) most nights.
@cityran, Different schools have different rules, but IME they’re really not worried about things like Tylenol and ibuprofen. They don’t want kids having OTC meds in their rooms that could be abused, like cough syrup or diet pills. Melatonin might be borderline even though it’s not addictive just because it’s a sleep aid. I’d recommend you email the school and ask directly. From what I’ve seen most will look away when it’s an innocent and parent-condoned use of an OTC med even if their policy is that all meds have to be administered by the nurse, but of course you don’t want your daughter discovering that that’s not the case at her new school when the first dorm inspection rolls around.
Some schools are very strict about over the counter meds because they are aware of certain students at the school who may be recovering from substance abuse and this can be the case at ANY school including the Andovers etc. The kids can’t police their rooms as they are busy outside of the dorms most of the day. Not saying this to scare anyone, I think everyone knows this exists in all high schools, but I would encourage you to give all meds, even over the counter ones, to the nurse. Generally if a child is taking medication regularly it is dispensed at the dining hall (or another handy spot) at breakfast, dinner and maybe bedtime? My daughter got her daily vitamins and probiotics from the nurse. There is very little stigma attached to taking meds at most schools.
Like @chemmchimney stated above, I recommend being upfront about OTC. We listed cold remedies, vitamins and probiotics. We were told @ our school that is fine to keep in the room but this varies by institution. FWIW we are glad we were totally honest with the health center.
Agree there are so many kids with medication needs, that it is really common and no stigma attached that we know of.
Quick PSA: If you’re looking for a new coat or backpack for next year there’s a big North Face sale going on right now at Nordstrom Rack online .
K1 needed a new backpack for an upcoming trip and he scored a really nice one today at a very good price. His last NF backpack lasted a really long time - BS - college.
I didn’t consider this for any of my other kids, but I’m wondering if my 8th grader would be happier at a boarding school than the LPS. I’m guessing I’m too late to the game to be considering it for 9th grade, but either a 10th grade transfer or a 9th grade repeat.
I’m not sure that I am going this route, but I floated it by my wife (her mom) and daughter this afternoon and they both had some reservations but were open to looking into it. TBH I expected a hard no from at least one of them, but didn’t get it. Both asked lots of questions, many of which I couldn’t answer. But both thought it was worth at least exploring.
We would definitely need financial aid, and I don’t know how that part works. I know with colleges you can use an NPC on the college website. Does a similar tool exists for BS?
I don’t really know how any of this works. Is there a general primer somewhere, either here or elsewhere that anyone would recommend? I’m kind of at the point where I don’t even know what questions to ask. I know one person who used to live here who had kids go to BS, and S19 is at an Ivy currently and has several friends who went to BS. But exactly no one in my social circle has even considered this as far as I know. It just doesn’t happen around here. So I’m looking to CC for some guidance.
Thanks.
I just scored 3 blazer for $22-$24 each at Nordstrom Rack!
@dadof4kids welcome! You’re definitely in the right place. There are many, many parents who have been through the process, often multiple times, and often as first timers i.e. families without a BS tradition including those in communities where it’s generally not a thing.
The overall educational experience at BS can be phenomenal. It’d be interesting to ask your S19 if he has any thoughts about the relative preparedness for college of his BS friends as compared to his own. That was definitely one of the top, say, 2-3 reasons we went the BS route for our kids. My wife and I both hit the wall at separate Ivies after coasting through our respective HS. The BS kids around us hit the ground running. Other aspects too…socially, independence, etc. Point being we too were first timers and made it through This place is an excellent resource.
Many schools do give FA. Most publish stats including % of kids on FA and average grant. The numbers may surprise you. That said, and for better or worse, it does make the odds of admission longer. They’ll even waive the application fee if you ask. Most schools are not need blind. Andover is but is an outlier in that regard and has an enormous endowment. Applications are run through Gateway and another common/aggregator site whose name escapes me at the moment. It may be worth poking around those.
The general view is to cast a wide net. Explore a LOT of schools by pouring over their websites, reading their online student newspapers, prowling here. Narrow it down to as many schools to visit possible…those that speak to you and your family (this was pre-Covid of course; for the moment school visits are virtual though in a sense that makes it easier to ‘visit’ more of them). Then apply to 6/8/10 schools including some long shots as well as schools with higher admissions rates (again, published stats). Read through the various ‘decisions’ threads to get a sense for where kids got in, were rejected, or waitlisted. Check out their profiles (GPAs, SSATs, subjective stuff) provided in those threads as compared to where they were admitted. IOW, not dissimilar from the college application process.
Do not sweat the idea of repeating 9th grade. A LOT of kids do in BS and there is absolutely zero stigma associated with it (though note that the “why” of it is generally asked as part of the application process).
Have your DD take the SSAT to get a baseline. Depending on the schools you’re shooting for and her score, she may be fine. Alternately, the score may reflect a need to do some test prep (much available for free online, or relatively inexpensive books). Note that her %-ile on the SSAT will guarantee nothing. It only serves as something that will not preclude her. There’s no reason to sweat trying to go from say 94th%ile to 97th%ile. 84th to 94th? Depending on the school, that could help.
Use this first time through 9th grade as productively as possible. The whole EC concept is going to be turned on its head this year, but maybe your DD can nonetheless pursue some passion that will make her stand out when ultimately applying.
Kind of rambling at this point. You may want to start a “help me start” type thread where you will get more direct, specific attention.
Happy to help if at all possible. Good luck!
@DroidsLookingFor thanks. I may try to think a bit about questions and start a new thread, that probably makes more sense. I didn’t really have any reason to do something different than the LPS for the first 3, but as my dad said the other day, #4 definitely marches to her own drummer. Yesterday I saw something about some BS having good financial aid, and lots of things started coming together in my head. So I thought I should probably at least explore the possibility.
@dadof4kids welcome! There are some great threads that are titled “things I wish I knew about the application process “ etc you might want to check out.
It’s a different process, yet similar, to colleges so that experience will help. (Most of us here do it the other way around and are now coping with the differences of college applications ?).
I do find that this side of the forum is more family-like and it’s easy to ask questions. I, myself, am going the round two of the process with buuzngirl so feel free to DM me if you want. Sometimes it’s easier than starting a new thread that is probably in existence a few pages back.
Thanks @buuzn03. Yes, I am aware I am doing this process backwards! I don’t know about yourkids, but with my 4, everytime I think I may actually have thing figured out they throw me a curveball and make me feel like a new clueless parent again!
I put up a new post, and will do some looking for “what I wish I knew” posts. I think part of the issue is right now I don’t even know what to ask. I need a “For Dummies” type guide.
On the flipside, if you want any insight on what we did for college, especially if one of your kids happens to be a high academic athletic recruit, I’d love to help!