<p>Yep… 25 years ago we said “fooled around” and it was probably about the same breakdown. Thanks for the info!</p>
<p>When I was in high school in the NE, hooked up with usually meant had sex or oral sex with. “Usually” as in it would be weird–and perhaps incorrect–to use the term for just making out. In college now in the Midwest, the term means made out with or anything beyond that. I’d say 90%+ of the time it means made out with. When people have sex, they say they had sex or imply it in some other way (“Then I went back to his place…,” after which the “Did you two have sex?” question would follow). If someone has sex but says “hooked up,” it’s often because the person wants to be a little ambiguous. </p>
<p>It’s definitely possible that I’ve just had two strange experiences, but for me the changing definition had more to do with the particular group of people than our ages. I wasn’t at an unusually slutty high school at all, by the way.</p>
<p>Thanks for asking that question, SB, and thanks for answering, lindz. Not a surprising answer at all, but good to have another data point. Plus ca change . . .</p>
<p>For some age groups “hooked up with” means “went fishing with”.</p>
<p>Danielle & other girls,
when you were younger, what were the best things you encountered/experienced (things you were encouraged to participate in, influences, etc.) that contributed to you to becoming a moral, strong, effective young woman? </p>
<p>My daughter is 6 years old. She’s pretty confident, but I’m always looking for more information. My gf says team sports really helped her daughter. Mine is a girly-girl though, and would prefer to chit-chat on the soccer field & compare hair decorations w/team-mates…(though she loves gymnastics).</p>
<p>Any thoughts would be appreciated! :-)</p>
<p>Jolynne I hope you have some reason other than a 6 year old daughter to be on college confidential !!</p>
<p>Thanks for asking that question SBmom - that’s something I have wondered about as well. LOL - SBmom, we must be around the same age - we used the term “fooled around” as well, and probably the breakdown was similar for my friends. </p>
<p>Lindz and corranged, thanks for answering. Too bad the answers were fairly ambiguous…lol. In other words, we still won’t know what our kids and their friends are up to!</p>
<p>vicarious–well, it’s never too soon to be thinking about narrowing down her college choices/majors.</p>
<p>Ha. Actually, I have a 16 year old son who is a HS junior. :-)</p>
<p>Jolynne - I hate to answer for the young ladies on this thread - but as the mom of a 15-year old girly-girl, I am an advocate for sports. My D plays softball and runs cross-country and track (and she played basketball for many years as well) - but she still dresses like a girly-girl and wears makeup, jewelry and cute hair accessories. I just think that by being involved in sports, she has developed a good sense of repsonsibility, the ability to prioritize, and gained a lot of confidence in herself. The physical benefits are there as well - with the daily practices, she’s in amazing shape.</p>
<p>Limom-- oh, you are also 34? ;)</p>
<p>nah, actually 46</p>
<p>Jolynne: There are plenty of “team” activities that could still appeal to a girly-girl! Dance class/teams, synchronized swimming, cheerleading, synchronized skating (that’s the little-known sport I grew up with, and it’s about as girly, as competitive, and as team-oriented as you can get). Girl scouts is a related option. I wouldn’t say that all of these necessarily provide the best influences, but you can shop around for particularly kid-friendly studios/coaches/teams :)</p>
<p>My best influences at that age were probably friends/leaders/coaches from activities like those above, my parents (who were SUPER-involved), baby-sitters (my parents were picky, so sitters were always great kids…I’m 22 and still occasionally in touch with a few of them), and the older girls I got to know through team sports (it was normal for me to hang around the rink with kids 10 years older than I was, which could’ve backfired, but happened to be a major blessing). Family, friends, other authority figures, and of course “big girls”…I guess that all seems pretty obvious, but I still remember many individuals and my feelings towards them, even so many years down the road.</p>
<p>I actually wish I’d had the chance to get involved in sports as a child, so I’ll third that recommendation even though it’s not something I have experience with. Aside from mandatory P.E. classes, my athletic experience extends to (noncompetitive) horseback riding, the elliptical at the gym, and the occasional game of tennis… so in high school, when my mother insisted that I try out for a varsity team despite never having played a sport in my life, I was pretty incredulous. I’m far from a girly girl (I may dress like one, but my legs are still covered in bruises from playing football with my boyfriend and his [male] relatives over Thanksgiving break, and I’m ridiculously competitive :D) but by the time I figured that out, I guess I thought I was too old to start.</p>
<p>I never did try out for a team. Sometimes I really wish I had.</p>
<p>Those are great suggestions Student615, thanks! My daughter definitely tends to look up to older girls (some of her best friends are 2-3 years older than her) so good to think about activities that could be multi-age and the positive benefits. Nice to hear about the lasting influence of nice babysitters too! Hadn’t thought of that (we usually use family) but a good thought!</p>
<p>camelia–thanks for that validation on the sports thing! I was never much into team sports either (except for track/cross country) so I’m interested to hear about the benefits…it seems like it would be good! That’s why my daughter is in soccer & will start basketball (even though she dresses her soccer ball up in a pink blanket when she get’s home from practice…).</p>
<p>:-)</p>
<p>SBmom - I wish I was 34 again! In reality, 43, so I was pretty close, right? </p>
<p>Oh, Jolynne, another thing that can help instill the values you want your daughter to have is participation in a music program. The commitment is similar to that needed for sports (except for the physical aspect). </p>
<p>Student615 made some great suggestions for “girly” sports - I hadn’t even thought of them, although many of D’s friends dance, cheer and swim. </p>
<p>Camelia… - it’s never too late. There are intramural teams in college that would probably be happy to have you. If you don’t want to get that involved, just keep playing football with your boyfriend - that’s always fun.</p>
<p>I was at school for day so I’ll give my take on “hooking up.” On my college visits, I’ve noticed a pretty huge disparity between what the term means compared to my high school. I don’t hang out with the hard partying crowd but I’d say about 95%-98% of high schoolers when they say hook up mean they made out. The other 2%-5% is almost certainly going to mean they had some form of sex and then proceed to tell you details you didn’t want to know in the first place. In college, the vernacular shifts, and while I haven’t heard it “as” often (typically in the, uhh, “theoretical context” of someone saying, “Well, if you want a relationship go to X soro, if you want to hook up go to Y”) the meaning was a bit more extreme. It’s a confusing term.</p>
<p>Jolynne, I am not a girl and did not do any of the sports mentioned so far, but having had a lot of female friends, I think swim team is one of the most popular activities. It’s structured and very social. Where I live, most subdivisions have a pool and field a team. I agree with Limom that music could be good but if she is more inclined to be social than musical, it may be a little early for that. I know piano lessons at that age can cause polar reactions, either temper tantrums or lifelong love. </p>
<p>I play ultimate frisbee and do as much backpacking as I can manage (did a solo 2 week trip this summer without getting resupplied with food) and while both of those are extremely fun and pretty gender neutral, they’re also a bit dangerous and may not appeal to your daughter. Those would be for later on, I think tossing a frisbee around in the yard is fine for a 6-year-old, but Ultimate shouldn’t be played until later.</p>
<p>IMO a 6 year old should rotate through lots of sports rather than specialize at that age. Keep it fun and see what she likes. My D wound up a recruited athlete (tennis) but did all sorts of sports up until HS, then she specialized. She did basketball, soccer and softball for about 7-8 years. Some years she played on boys’ teams and that was also a good shot in the arm for a girl. She was a tomboy-- and that was a fairly smooth road through adolescence.</p>
<p>Yes on sports, and yes on rotating through sports at that age. I took golf and tennis lessons every summer until I was about 10, played kiddie soccer around ages 5-7, took skating lessons for a couple of years, baseball for a season or two, competitive swim team grades 2-6 (would have stayed with this one, but a series of very unfortunate events pretty much dissolved the team), soccer and basketball in middle school, and then just continued with soccer in high school until an injury took me out pre-season junior year. I’m not great at any of these sports anymore, really, but I got to learn a lot of different sports, met a bunch of people, and most importantly had fun. Sports have innumerable other benefits, too: teamwork, dealing with authority, persistence, time management, effort, dealing with failure, something to feel proud about, physical health, mental health, etc.</p>
<p>Great insights, thanks so much. I hear all those good things about sports (teamwork, time management, etc.). One of the biggest things I hope for her (as a girl) to gain is a pride/enjoyment in what her body does as opposed to merely how it looks (although she’s already a jewelry/fancy outfit afficianado). Thinking a sport would be a solid avenue for that.</p>
<p>I had the same thought as was suggested—rotate/expose her to a variety of sports to see how she reacts to each & give her the chance to explore them.</p>
<p>Thanks again!!</p>
<p>Lol, ninja, I was forced into 2 years of piano at a very young age. I passionately hated every minute. After the full two years, I never made it out of the first book “teaching little fingers to play” and the only song I knew was Home on the Range. </p>
<p>Conversely, I loved every minute of cheerleading yet eventually grew weary of all the time it required to simple learn dances and combinations. I ended up quitting and have spent the last three years in mixed combat. martial arts awesome for kids for two reasons, the first is the principles they learn (ie confidence, respect, work ethic) the second is the ability to defend oneself if the need arises. There are a few very young kids (called tigers) who I would be quite reluctant to mess with.</p>
<p>As for hooking up, at my old school it was considered either sex or any other sexual activity. At the school I go to know, its basically making out.</p>