<p>I’m not going to get into a discussion on economics in this thread because I don’t want it to get too far off topic. I agree with you that children should be taught by their parents to save money appropriately, but given that their parents aren’t saving money themselves, I’m not surprised that the message isn’t getting through to the kids. The other part of your post would require a longer response that would be further off topic. Post a new thread if you’d like.</p>
<p>I think all teenagers should be in charge of their own spending money–they definitely should be after college graduation. If one of your daughters is pursuing a graduate degree and needs some financial help, and you can provide it without sacrifice, then I don’t see a problem with helping out a little. They should be financially independent, but who says they can’t still get a little help sometimes, if it’s needed?</p>
<p>If you’re paying for the wedding that’s certainly a good enough gift, in my opinion. If you want, throw in something sentimental. If you’re comfortable enough financially and it makes sense, you can give money toward furniture, a down payment, or a car. If you’re paying for the wedding, though, I don’t think you need to feel obligated to give anything else, though you should make that clear to them.</p>
<p>Where does one buy $300 jeans?</p>
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<p>I couldn’t agree more, especially if your S/D is deciding on attending law/medical school, or any other graduate program. Some schools take an interest to a students financial records, this is especially relevant with Medical Schools where your ability to concentrate on your work and not be stressed out due to financial troubles is important. I believe that financial independence should be taught at a young age, by the time one graduates college, it wouldn’t be wise to contribute a lot financially, as they should learn to be successful on their own, but I don’t see an issue with helping with some $$ if times get a little rough, we all know how difficult it is to be financially independent. Especially this day and age when everything is so expensive.</p>
<p>Danielle, I love this thread. I am the mom of a 15 year old girl, and I’m sure you could be an invaluable source of information. My first question, why does my daughter lock herself away in her room as soon as she walks in the door, and only come out for food/bathroom breaks? Im sure I will have many others, but that is the thing that bothers me most.</p>
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Designer stores or upscale department stores.</p>
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<p>They are sexy in the eyes of men. That’s my point. Adopting this style is a form of subjugation which contributes to sexism.</p>
<p>mstee</p>
<p>bloomingdales, lord and taylor, nieman marcus, nordstroms, online, directly though high end designer boutiques, etc.</p>
<p>oh and I wear high heels because I’m short and in some outfits they just look better, and make the outfit look a whole lot more put together.</p>
<p>Coats and tennis shoes are overrated. I dont care how cold it is (admittedly, I do live in texas), Im not wearing layers when I can walk from my car to wherever Im going in a matter of 10 seconds.</p>
<p>Also, wearing high heels gives the fake kind of confidence. I see it in so many girls, and I just think “ugh, I don’t sense genuine confidence coming through.”</p>
<p>sanjenferrer, you are correct on both points, I am simply giving the teenage view.</p>
<p>parent2noles, at 20/22, they are on therre own! You can help with an apartment deposit or cosign for a car but continuing to support there exsistance financially would be a BIG MISTAKE. After the establish themsleves, they should be on there own.</p>
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<p>Sorry, I still wear high heels. They make me feel sexy or I feel sexy when I can look down at somebody.
I have been wearing them since I was teen. Yes, I’m no longer teen. I don’t have fake confidence, I just have confidence. No sweeping generalization please.</p>
<p>LIMOMOF2, that is something I struggle with my mom. If you know your daughter and trust that she is not doing anything illegal, dont worry. This is completely normal. When I get home from school and work, I am exhausted! I want to close my door and sit down with a book or talk to my friends. Basically, I need quiet time to recharge. I just make sure I have time with my family too. But your daughter needs to know that you trust her (yet, up to a point). I would say allow her her alone time unless she gives you a reason to think otherwise (ie drastic abrupt change of attitude, drastic change of clothing style etc).</p>
<p>Thanks Danielle - that’s exactly what she told me. I completely trust that she is not doing anything illegal - she is way too busy…lol.</p>
<p>Tdanielle:</p>
<p>I can’t quite get over how often I overhear profanity from both guys and girls. Is this pretty much universal now among teens? I used to tell my sons that I knew they would use those words with their friends, just don’t use them around me or around their female friends. They tell me some of their female friends use the same words. Is it really that common?</p>
<p>(btw I’m a 50-ish guy, live in NJ and am still wearing shorts and sandals. We live at the shore and it’s acceptable here year round, I see plenty of it. Sheer laziness in my case, easier than putting on long pants and real shoes in spite of the cold)</p>
<p>tdanielle on a more serious note, I know several girls (age 16 or so) whose parents had to take them to the hospital they were so drunk. Seems more than in the past, and more often girls, drink quickly and to excess. They drink hard liquor (rather than beer which makes you feel full). Do you see this, and why girls?</p>
<p>Also will kids drive after 2 or 3 drinks (or the equivalent of)? My D told me it happens quite frequently at least around here…young people think since they aren’t rip roaring drunk, they can drive and take their chances. I’m hoping you can tell me that’s not the case in your experience. thanks.</p>
<p>Yes, I see this (though frankly here it is more common to just get stoned, also bad). Hospital is a good bet if there is even the slightest chance of alcohol poisining. </p>
<p>In my experience, girls (#1) are drinking quickly because high school parties are bascially “get drunk as fast as you can while there is still liquior and berfore the cops break it up”.
Also girls are favoring hard liquoir as opposed to beer because 1) beer has more calories (again with the social pressure of having to be a size -0) and 2) because beer is more filling, unpleasantly so. It drives me up a wall when I see this in action, because I had to throw a baby shower for my 16 yr old freiend this year. </p>
<p>Finally, will kids drive after 2-3 drinks? Yes. Teens are literally (for the most part) mentally unable to consider consequences of their actions. its something about their neurons not fully being welded together. I have a friend (who is a senoir now) who got a DUI sophmore year. This is so unfortunate because that is a felony. He was tried as an adult. He will not be able to get into college, or find a real job until he can do enough community service to knock it down to a misdemeanor (which can be done, but it is no cake walk).</p>
<p>Sorry to hijack your thread, Danielle, but…</p>
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Ah, cursing. To answer your question, yes, it pretty much is universal. Something to do with exploring boundaries or some other such nonsense like that. Girls use it, guys use it, no matter.</p>
<p>Make sure they respect you and other adults, and you should have no problems.</p>
<p>Jazzymom,
Swearing is common but by no means universal. I have group of girl friends that all swear like sailors, but my main friends do not. Some of my guy friends do but some will not in front of me. It is subjective. And also contagious.</p>