<p>I don’t get offended very easily–certainly not in this case. </p>
<p>But who cares if you don’t agree with what other people have said? Not all teenagers will have the same answers about why teenagers do or think certain things. People have varying reasons for their actions and certainly varying beliefs about the origins of other people’s actions. You are not so much the epitome of teenager-dom that your answers can be seen as universal. (And definitely neither am I.) You offered to answer parents’ questions the best you can, to give them your perspective on why their kids act in certain ways. Well, maybe their teen isn’t like you. Maybe their kid is like someone on this thread with whom you’ve disagreed. Teenagers are bound together by age, by the years between 12 and 20. It’s a big gap in years in terms of development, but the impact of that age difference is dwarfed when you consider the vast differences in thoughts, experiences, and circumstances represented in the group of teenagers. That difference is likely a little smaller here: most posters are American, the vast majority of the rest are from developed countries or developed areas within those countries; many are from affluent areas, few are from the ‘ghetto’; I’ve heard of few posters who are Hispanic, and more who are white, some Asian, and some black; the vast majority of parents on this board are well-educated, and all of the others care deeply about education; etc. But the differences in their children can still be very pronounced. Their thoughts cannot be represented by one or three voices. If you really want to try to help parents understand their teens (though, after reading these boards for a couple of years, I’d say many parents have an excellent understanding of their children, and hopefully the rest are smart enough to come up with most of the answers we’ve been giving), you should welcome diverse opinions instead of push them away. Maybe that’s not really your goal, but that’s what you seemed to imply in your opening post.</p>
<p>Further, CC is an open message board. Threads are not states, so the OP of a thread does not have the power to govern it. Think of it like the Wild Wild West, with our moderators as the biggest and baddest men in town. You can start a thread, but after that it’s pretty much out of your hands. People can respond on topic or off topic; they can question and doubt you; they can post even if you don’t want them to. But in this case, if you’re goal is to give parents a place to ask teenagers questions (and now vice versa), I don’t really see why you shouldn’t be welcoming everybody.</p>
<p>tdanielle - I’m sooo sorry about your little accident… we have a two car garage, and driveway. However, when we built the house 9 years ago, the fire hydrant was already there, so if we wanted the house built with the master bedroom windows facing north (looking out on a little pond), the garage had to be on the southwest corner of the house. With the fire hydrant where it was, the only way we could put a driveway in was to sort of taper the driveway from the garage to the street. So while it begins as a two-car garage driveway, by the time you get to the street, to avoid the fire hydrant, the driveway is more like 1 1/2 cars wide. If you are pulled up to the garage door, on the side closest to the front door, and back out straight, you hit the fire hydrant… and it’s been done many times (but thankfully not by anyone in our family). We’ve had some people hit it more than once (adults, no less). Only a couple of times has it knocked the fire hydrant off of its base, but it still does a lot of damage to a car. I always feel so bad when people hit it, and we always warn people who come to our house for the first time, but they just forget and back out straight. Most people who visit often don’t even park in the driveway anymore - they park in the street so they don’t have to worry about it.</p>
<p>Like I said, it’s been hit by more adults than teen drivers, so don’t feel too bad about your little indiscretion.</p>
<p>Thank you terwitt, your condolences are much appreciated. I had hoped beyond hope that my parents would find some humor in this incident (fortunately my car was in no way damaged, I drive a tank… which sadly is killing our earth)… They did not. The mail box is quite done for, and it was not your average mailbox. It was this pretty ceramic(sort of) piece of art mail box… The owners are in mexico. What fun I shall have when they get back.</p>
<p>tdanielle…<em>ouch</em>! Good luck with the neighbors! No hurry with the answer, in fact this morning she did great with the routine, so who knows we may have outgrown a phase?</p>
<p>I’m sorry about your accident as well - be glad it was only a mailbox, that nobody was hurt, and that your car was not damaged. You are handling the incident in a mature manner, and I’m sure your neighbors will appreciate that over time.</p>
<p>Just to let you know, I love this thread, and I hope you keep it going. Don’t worry so much about other people responding to the questions - it’s great to hear from a variety of people and get different perspectives. I have had great responses from you, Kristin, corranged, ninja, and even a few parents - and I have appreciated them all. </p>
<p>Thank you. You have brightened a rather difficult today for me with your kindness (while I did well in one part of my play today, I sort of stumbled through my other part). I am all for giving opinions and helping everyone else. If we only all stepped up to the plate in the same fashion in real life, what a world we could make! However, there have been some unfair generalizations on this thread that I felt to need to voice that I do not advocate them… yet I am afraid I have displayed some sort of intolerance that was not my intention. Ironically, the (seemingly) offended party had nothing to do with any sort of generalizations.</p>
<pre><code>I backed into your mailbox. I am so, so sorry. On Monday, November the 26th, I was late for the dress rehearsal for my Macbeth performance, struggling to remember my lines, attempting to type in the address where our cast is meeting on my GPS, as well as reversing out of my drive way and towards your home as an effort to line myself up to leave… and as I continued to try to program the address in, I continued to back up until I was stopped…by your mailbox.
</code></pre>
<p>Again, I am so sorry. I realize that I am lucky that my failure to pay attention cost only the life of a mailbox, and I intend to give my complete attention to driving, while behind the wheel from this point forward. I will, of course, pay for the new mail box and I apologize for the trouble that I have caused. </p>
<p>Oh yes, I was going to address the issue of spending lots of “primping” time and very little time on essentials (like breakfast eating). Well, I spend near double your daughters 25 minutes of outfit choosing/makeup/hair in the morning… a confession that I regret to make… I am full capable of doing these non essentials faster and to a lesser quality, yet 1.) I enjoy my quiet morning time with my mascara brush, and other “tools” and 2.) there was a question a few days ago something like “Is highschool really like the movie “mean girls”,” and do to the extremely competive society we live in (which is not just academically or intellectually so), it can be very similar. In order to protect oneself from those who would ostracize the student who seems dissimilar to them, girls work to be the closest to the “standard” of pretty and perfect that they can be…</p>
<p>I know a social worker who provides mental help and he has said that he does not work teenagers because “They are all crazy!!! Especailly teenage girls. They all need to be Hilary Duff (or insert likeable and cute celebrity, such as Katie Holmes or Nattelie Portman), but NO, they cannot be Britney or Lindsy or Paris!”</p>
<p>Basically and sadly, many girls seem forced to face whatever they can to fit the mold, which will include giving much more time and thought to image than essentials.</p>
<p>Danielle, you are doing an awesome job on this thread. I wish you could moderate the political threads on the parent forum! I could quote many examples of rude and adolescent posts by some parents who should know better, but I respect your rules! ;)</p>
<p>Teriwitt, in your situation I might put a little curb in front of that fire hydrant so the tires hit something safe before they hit the hydrant.</p>
<p>As a teenage guy, I can say that the teenage guys who are attacted by girls wearing black eyeliner are often wearing it themselves. The majority of guys, by my reckoning at least, do not see it as super-attractive.</p>
<p>Two great questions.
Hair dye, the ability to completely change your look in a six dollar bottle! To the adolesecent girl, what is not to love? I went through many dramatic hair color changes before finally going back to my natural color about a year ago, and it still took 3-4 redyes before it would again hold my hair’s dark color, from the blond that it was. Lol, so one must be careful! (I lesson I could have done well to learn sooner)</p>
<p>And as for dark dark eyeliner, I was unfortuantely convinced in middle school that by merely adding a thick layer of eyeliner I could easily pass for 18. Confession: I once dated a guy who wore eyeliner. He was a juinor to my then-freshman self and I was convinced that it was a sign of his mature originality… Lol, and yet that was not the biggest freshman-dating-mistake I made!</p>