<p>Do my self-centered questions bore you?</p>
<p>They’re not so bad.</p>
<p>What do you think of Dave Chappelle?</p>
<p>Obnoxious.</p>
<p>Conan or Craig?</p>
<p>Conan.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Okay, cool. You can say whatever, but I won’t honor your ridiculous self-centered “answer”-questions. Just so we’re on the same page.</p>
<p>Because I’m kind of awesome?</p>
<p>And a teaspoon?</p>
<p>Letterman or Leno?</p>
<p>Because I’m kind of awesome?</p>
<p>Yes. Kind of.</p>
<p>And a teaspoon?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Letterman or Leno?</p>
<p>Leno.</p>
<p>Do you have a fiery personality?</p>
<p>Are you a koala?</p>
<p>Do you like coconuts?</p>
<p>Do you like cocoa butter?</p>
<p>Do you like coconut butter?</p>
<p>Does it annoy you that William Golding writes coco-nut instead of coconut?</p>
<p>Should his book never have existed?</p>
<p>Do you find it funny when the snotty children say, “sucks to your ass-mar?”</p>
<p>Is that one of those silly phrases that I’ll remember forever?</p>
<p>Why don’t you tell me something random about Delicious Boy?</p>
<p>Is it funny that the acronym would be DB?</p>
<p>Like Holden Caulfield’s brother, right?</p>
<p>Am I self-centered?</p>
<p>Just a tad, though, right?</p>
<p>Is the “though, right” combination annoying?</p>
<p>Am I quite obviously continuing my conquest?</p>
<p>Would it be silly for one to stop maintaining what one has?</p>
<p>Does Rudyard Kipling bother you?</p>
<p>Is “Rudyard” a horrible name?</p>
<p>A horrible name, right?</p>
<p>What’s your favourite number?</p>
<p>The sprees have returned :O!</p>
<p>Do you have a fiery personality?</p>
<p>Hell yes I do. [Hahahaha]</p>
<p>Are you a koala?</p>
<p>A bunny. A bunny.</p>
<p>Do you like coconuts?</p>
<p>I like coconut, but not coconuts themselves.</p>
<p>Does it annoy you that William Golding writes coco-nut instead of coconut?</p>
<p>Nah.</p>
<p>Should his book never have existed?</p>
<p>I liked it.</p>
<p>Do you find it funny when the snotty children say, “sucks to your ass-mar?”</p>
<p>Hahahahaha. I would always burst out laughing. That’s my favorite.</p>
<p>Is that one of those silly phrases that I’ll remember forever?</p>
<p>Yesss.</p>
<p>Why don’t you tell me something random about Delicious Boy?</p>
<p>He has the same effect on me that sweaty rockstars have on easy girls. Now, I’m not an easy girl by any means, but he does things to me.</p>
<p>He does things to me. Hahahaha.</p>
<p>Is it funny that the acronym would be DB?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Like Holden Caulfield’s brother, right?</p>
<p>Yes!</p>
<p>Am I self-centered?</p>
<p>Nah.</p>
<p>Just a tad, though, right?</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p>Is the “though, right” combination annoying?</p>
<p>Nope.</p>
<p>Am I quite obviously continuing my conquest?</p>
<p>It’s a life-long conquest.</p>
<p>Would it be silly for one to stop maintaining what one has?</p>
<p>It wouldn’t be silly, it would be ridiculously stupid.</p>
<p>Does Rudyard Kipling bother you?</p>
<p>Don’t make fun of The Jungle Book.</p>
<p>Is “Rudyard” a horrible name?</p>
<p>Terrible.</p>
<p>A horrible name, right?</p>
<p>That, too.</p>
<p>What’s your favourite number?</p>
<p>21.</p>
<p>Whatcha doin?</p>
<p>Isn’t that an obnoxious question?</p>
<p>But isn’t answering ‘Talkin’ to you’ even more obnoxious?</p>
<p>What do you think of Samuel L. Jackson?</p>
<p>Can Christian Bale look kind of freaky sometimes?</p>
<p>How has my day been?</p>
<p>My last week?</p>
<p>Your last week?</p>
<p>Why do my friends make nonsensical arguments against democrats?</p>
<p>Is this really only 3 friends?</p>
<p>Because the rest couldn’t care less?</p>
<p>Whatcha doin?</p>
<p>Eating an apple that has been tainted by celery.</p>
<p>Isn’t that an obnoxious question?</p>
<p>It’s kind of cutesy.</p>
<p>But isn’t answering ‘Talkin’ to you’ even more obnoxious?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>What do you think of Samuel L. Jackson?</p>
<p>He’s type-casted as an angry black man.</p>
<p>Can Christian Bale look kind of freaky sometimes?</p>
<p>Yes, in American Psycho.</p>
<p>How has my day been?</p>
<p>Adequate. </p>
<p>My last week?</p>
<p>Lovely.</p>
<p>Your last week?</p>
<p>It ended with a bang.</p>
<p>Why do my friends make nonsensical arguments against democrats?</p>
<p>Because they’re silly.</p>
<p>Is this really only 3 friends?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Because the rest couldn’t care less?</p>
<p>Apathy is so boring.</p>
<p>How can an apple be tainted?</p>
<p>What’s this bang?</p>
<p>Do I have school Tuesday?</p>
<p>Do you?</p>
<p>How can an apple be tainted?</p>
<p>It accidentally went into the vegetable crisper. I swear, it tastes like celery.</p>
<p>What’s this bang?</p>
<p>Hahahaha. Wow. I need to stop making little accidental innuendos. Okay. It ended with a “bang” because I got to drop calculus. And I only went to school for three days last week, hahaha.</p>
<p>Do I have school Tuesday?</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Do you?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Will your next week be awesome?</p>
<p>What will you be when you grow up?</p>
<p>Is that a different question than what do you want to be?</p>
<p>Did you watch that video I put in 9229?</p>
<p>Aren’t most videos like that incredibly cheesy?</p>
<p>But there’s a point, right?</p>
<p>Will your next week be awesome?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>What will you be when you grow up?</p>
<p>Amazing.</p>
<p>Is that a different question that a different question than what want to be?</p>
<p>That makes absolutely no sense.</p>
<p>Did you watch that video I put in 9229?</p>
<p>Nope.</p>
<p>Aren’t most videos like that incredibly cheesy?</p>
<p>N/A</p>
<p>But there’s a point, right?</p>
<p>Okay.</p>
<p>Did I edit that?</p>
<p>Obama?</p>
<p>Did I edit that?</p>
<p>Yes, but I liked it more before. And yes, it is a different question.</p>
<p>Obama?</p>
<p>Mmmm Obama.</p>
<p>He’s not delicious like DB, but he’s delicious as a leader.</p>
<p>Are his constituents on the cover of Time?</p>
<p>Do I like it better before too?</p>
<p>Can I never, ever take Midol again?</p>
<p>Because it makes me feel like a crackhead?</p>
<p>What should I do for my 16th birthday?</p>
<p>Do I make you feel old?</p>
<p>Was that a stupid question?</p>
<p>But a teaspoon, right?</p>
<p>Are his constituents on the cover of Time?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Do I like it better before too?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Can I never, ever take Midol again?</p>
<p>Just take ibuprofen. </p>
<p>Because it makes me feel like a crackhead?</p>
<p>Hahahaha.</p>
<p>What should I do for my 16th birthday?</p>
<p>Hmm…I’m trying to remember my 16th. I never do anything wild and crazy for my birthdays because they’re always Holiday-ish because of Thanksgiving. Umm…you should definitely get your license soon after. I got mine about 3 months after my 16th.</p>
<p>Do I make you feel old?</p>
<p>Hahahahaha.</p>
<p>Was that a stupid question?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>But a teaspoon, right?</p>
<p>Sure.</p>
<p>Is it because of the caffeine?</p>
<p>Do I need my permit for 6 months to get my license?</p>
<p>Do I have my permit now?</p>
<p>Did I just realize that for my past 2 birthdays I’ve gone to Olive Garden with my parents?</p>
<p>Do I really like Olive Garden?</p>
<p>But I don’t go there often?</p>
<p>Have I digressed?</p>
<p>Isn’t that a ridiculous word?</p>
<p>But not as much as ibuprofen?</p>
<p>Is it because of the caffeine?</p>
<p>Yes?</p>
<p>Do I need my permit for 6 months to get my license?</p>
<p>Aww.</p>
<p>Do I have my permit now?</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Did I just realize that for my past 2 birthdays I’ve gone to Olive Garden with my parents?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>Do I really like Olive Garden?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>But I don’t go there often?</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p>Have I digressed?</p>
<p>Yes. These self-centered questions are getting old.</p>
<p>Isn’t that a ridiculous word?</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>But not as much as ibuprofen?</p>
<p>Haha.</p>
<p>Did I find out today my eyes have changed color?</p>
<p>Did someone comment about my green eyes and I called them crazy?</p>
<p>Is that weird?</p>
<p>What color are your eyes?</p>
<p>What color is your hair today?</p>
<p>Gumby or Pokey?</p>
<p>Green or yellow?</p>
<p>Chicken or fettuccine?</p>
<p>Would you change your name to Alfredo for $10,000 dollars?</p>